Multiple System Atrophy, God and People

I know most of my weaknesses and I know some of my strengths. I do know that I am not afraid to speak to strangers. I  used to look at it like this. I can talk to them, heck, they will never see me again.

Well that helped, but I learned that talking comes easy for me. I know that one of my weaknesses is unsure of my own worth. This can lead to not moving forward, being afraid of others remarks. This is when my weight comes into focus for me. I think, are they looking at the over-load baggage I carry?

I get more afraid when I am sitting at home alone. I get braver when I am out in public. I find this odd about me. I think it is the opposite for some people, but today I was thankful I am the way I am.

I have been spending a lot of time in prayer. I have been trying to figure out what I am all about and where does God want me to go in this small town. I hate it that I have fear inside that I may not make it. The job that I should be working is not here.

I am always telling God my worries and then I dunk them with a goal shot right into worry basket I made for him with my name on it in big letters.

TERRY SHEPHERD, my name is on that net.

So to get to my story, I had to go out today to the post office. I did that and then proceeded to Captain D’s for some light lunch of fish. While I was there I was smiling. Don’t ask me why I do this. I do it when I am among other people.

My mom used to tell me I never smiled when I was young and when we would get ready to get out of the car to go in somewhere she would always say, Pull your dress down and put your smile on. Well, maybe this is why I still smile when I walk in to a business.

So I am sitting there alone eating my lunch. I had noticed about four tables had been shoved together and a pretty big group of people were eating. They were laughing and having a good time.

I happened to over hear one of them say the word Jesus. I listened more intently and then when I was finished with my lunch, I took care of my trash and tray and then I did it. I walked over to the group and started talking.

I asked them, ” Are you a church group?’

” Yes, we are, from three different churches.”

” I am pretty new here in town and had thought about going to church but couldn’t find one that was similar to the one I was brought up in.”

All at once they all started smiling and talking, they stood up and began shaking my hand, introducing themselves. They each told me their names and what church they went to. They all invited me to their services and told me the address and times church started.

They began to politely ask me where I moved from and what drew me to this small part of the world.  I explained about my brother and my daughter living here. I told them I was a published author and that I was a speaker for MSA through a caregiver’s eyes.

They went silent for a second and then the questions came charging at me about what MSA stood for and what it is. I don’t know how long we converted but it was nice and I was laughing and having a good time.

I was getting ready to leave and I thanked them for letting me interrupt their conversation. One of the ladies told me she worked at the local hospital on Monday mornings. She invited me to be there next Monday and she would introduce me to the staff and give me a chance to tell them about my speaking.

I thanked her and said, ” Of course I will be there and thank-you so much for the invitation.” I walked back to my seat and I know without checking my compact mirror I was smiling ear to ear.

I have been speaking to God for weeks. I have built my new Facebook page about MSA through a caregiver’s eyes, which by the way is still going strong, and then today, I not only found a church, I found three churches, met about eight new people, and even got an invite to the hospital.

God, I still don’t know where you are taking me, but I know it is going to be worth the wait. Thank-you for loving me, forgiving me for my sins, and always listening.