There Was a Time, Which Was Yesterday

I was sitting outside on the bench. A few others were enjoying the sun.

I started becoming depressed as I  listened to chats.

People feeling lonely

People with walkers 

No one to see

No place to go.
I thought to myself, “I should be feeling blessed for my apartment,  and I’m sorry Lord, I’m not so much.”
People with strokes, Parkinson’s and others who have a hole in their pockets, is what I knew.
I heard one say,  “We can’t paint our walls. We can’t have an outdoor grill. We are one step a way from a nursing home or death.”
My insides screamed, “No! No! No! I can’t do this.  I’m not ready. I’m not that I’ll yet.”
But the sad truth is, I am not married, so no financial support. I have no money and I am forced to live here.
This makes me ashamed because I am not grateful enough. It makes me cry inside for others who want what once was.
These people are not responsible for my sadness. They just make me have to face the devastating facts of my own life.
I need a break from here, where I live. I want to hear laughter. I want to hug my friends online that battle each day to win. I don’t want to see what lies ahead.

4 thoughts on “There Was a Time, Which Was Yesterday

  1. I am sorry you are in a place that seems to have no relief. I’m sorry because there isn’t anyone else who can set a better tone for you guys. My mother lived in “low income housing/gov’t assisted housing” in her later years, because she was single, in her senior years and without any assets. There were still some programs that would take place via the park district Senior programs, and that was a blessing for her. However, not all who lived at her apartment building were in their senior years yet. Some were in their 40’s, on the brink of Medicare help, or anywhere in between. The ones who could drive would make trips for others for a very small price (and that helped them get a bit more than gas). The ones who could organize a bingo game for everyone to join would work on getting the supplies from the different places that were changing from cards and chips to daubers.

    Lord, please bring some bright options for Terry and her neighbors. Help them to find volunteers who are willing to help them once a month to celebrate birthdays or a friendly holiday. Help them to link up with some other services in their area that can bring them real reasons to get up and show up each morning. Bless them in a radical way, I pray. Amen


  2. Gossip is the worst, and it seems all feel down and that gets you in the end. Turn the thinking around….. you have a roof over your head and you can eat, you are not alone in a sense. You could start a group within this community, you can paint, you can write, do a reading hour, read your book Dahlia. Some others have talents and might follow your step, knitting circles, game hours, it gets people together and laughing. Singing together. There are many things to make people happier.


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