What Is The Name of My Berry Tree?


This afternoon it is pretty warm outside, around 70. I cleaned my house and did laundry. I then went across the street and met another neighbor.  He seems pretty nice. He makes cabinets.

While outside I took a couple of photos of two trees I have in my yard. The one is a pine tree and the other is a red berry tree. Does anyone know what kind of tree the berry tree is?

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Ready, Set, Done


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Our ten-minute free-write is back! Have no mercy on your keyboard as you give us your most unfiltered self (feel free to edit later, or just publish as-is).

Golly gee whiz, what do I write about for ten minutes, and yet have no idea of the topic? I don’t really know. What am I thinking about? The holidays coming up. I saw tonight on Facebook that my one grandson has a cold and is teething. Boy, do I remember those days.

My one daughter-in-law is having some medical issues and now may have a job change; which I know she isn’t crazy about.

Do you remember years ago when we didn’t have email, or Facebook? If you wanted to know something, you used the land line phone or you sat down and wrote a letter. This reminds me of part of the conversation I shared with my patient today.

We were talking about how many acres he farmed at one time. What kind of animals he raised. Through talking to him, I understood quite clear that he didn’t do anything that women did.

He was the farmer, the bread-winner, and the father. Raising the kids was the woman’s job unless there were discussions at the supper table. Back then when the father spoke at the table, everyone listened.

He didn’t know how to cook. He had no idea how to run a washing machine or dryer. He didn’t do dishes or clean a bathroom. He was strictly the man. How things have changed today.

Now partners and spouses expect each other to kick in and help. Usually both are working. There are at least 1.5 kids to raise. Both are tired so sharing the load is pretty common.

I don’t know of too many men who don’t know how to cook, at the least, they know how to use a microwave, and from what I see on the Food Network,  and being down here with my son-in-law, I have learned there are some pretty talented male chefs out there, that I wouldn’t mind having come to my home and cook for me.

Men even do laundry today. There is one commercial on TV where the dad is being held captive by the little daughter near the washing machine. Her favorite outfit is dirty and the child wants to make sure it is cleaned and dry as soon as possible. So there is an example of a dad doing laundry. Better yet, it is a prime example of some role models being changed today; where the father stays home and cleans and runs the house and the wife works.

How do you feel personally about the male staying home while the female goes out to work? How do you feel about the female making more money than the male?

Well, my ten minutes is up. Thanks for stopping by and reading.

The Farmer in the Dale


Well today was quite interesting for about four hours. I had a patient to take care of. Since I had asked to work in Russellville, I was dumb enough to think close to home, but I was wrong.

It ended up not being so far away, less than 15 miles. The issue was I had an office person lead the way in her car and I just couldn’t keep up. I lost her a couple of times. I was much slower than even my daughter thinks I am as I went through many curves and up and down hills. Small roads and more curves. I was in an area I didn’t even know existed.

When we arrived she made a comment about me not keeping up. My quick defense was that I had never been out this far. I wasn’t used to any of the roads and I took slower pace because of the hills and curves.

She laughed and stated she had grown up here all her life. She thought I was silly but I was still trying to pull my imaginary fingers off of the steering wheel, I was so afraid. The gentleman had once been a huge farmer. His house was gorgeous, big and full of all types of goodies to look at.

The entire time I was there he wanted me to leave. He was alert but still needed watching over. I didn’t take it personal. I could only imagine how he felt after being a father and husband of this lovely farm for over sixty years.

I cleaned his bathroom, swept the house, shook rugs, fixed supper, tried to talk to him and charted. I was told that he could ambulate by himself, but the first two times I watched him walk, he stumbled this way and that, just like I do.

From then on, I held his elbow when he walked. It wasn’t long before he took my hand and let me guide him where he was walking. He told me thank-you for being so kind.

I came home and decided to cook myself a real meal for a change. The house was chilly and my feet were letting me know it by burning more. I changed clothes and got into my warm PJ’s and soft house coat. I took my socks off to put my slippers on and my feet were pure white from being so cold.

I hurried and turned my heater on to get the chill out of here and then turned the stove on to start supper. I fried up a pork steak. I boiled a potato, and sliced up a big, fat tomato and cut up a green pepper. I had a cookie for dessert. The kitchen warmed quickly. The window steamed and it did smell so good in here.

I saw at the client’s house that he had two sticky pads laying down in areas of the kitchen. Stuck to them were what I have here, black crickets. The next time I go out to the store I am grabbing those. I hate the thoughts of me sleeping and crickets are hopping on me. Yuck, gives me goose bumps as I even ponder on that idea.

I have no work so far for about a week, so while I still home  this morning my daughter informed me of a perfect job right here in town. I took the time to apply for it. Keep your fingers crossed and the prayers coming that what ever I am supposed to be doing, I am guided in that direction.

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So Glad Today Is Over


Well today was the last day of training. It went on and on. It seemed like all day it was pretty much about the same topics. Clients first, and smile be happy and nice. I can do that, I guess! LOL

I didn’t get out of there at the time I hoped for. It was dark when I got home. Not pitch dark but dark enough. Scares the hell out of me, to be honest. I don’t know the street names for the most part, but do have landmarks I watch for; so when it gets dusk and beyond, I am out of luck.

The first part of the training today was bathing and bed changing. I was third in line out of nine. Everyone stayed in the room and watched others, but I was wobbling back and forth so as soon as I finished my turn, I headed for my seat.

I did learn today that the biggest percentage of clients were Alzheimer’s or Dementia. My heart sunk. I just don’t care for working with them. I have to admit my patience isn’t top-notch for this type of illness.

I have plenty of compassion but repetitiveness isn’t one of my strong points. Sometimes Alzheimer’s patients can be very mean. I have been hit, and pinched, cussed out and more. I know they can’t help it, but I don’t like being hurt. On top of that i am not in a group of staff where I can grab help, I will be alone with the client. I am still praying for another door to open for me.

Does this make sense? I sat so much today that I am tired tonight. I didn’t feel like fixing supper so I ran through the drive-thru close to my house and grabbed a carry-out supper. I was glad I did it when I arrived home, because I felt myself flop down on the couch and I didn’t want to move. I watched my recorded soap and ate supper.

The nights are getting chilly here. I am so warm when I wake up in the mornings but as soon as I hop out of bed, or should I say crawl out of bed, I feel the chill. I turn my little heater on, but I hope to be able to turn the furnace on very soon. A little bit of sealing up with the house has to be done before I start running the furnace full-time.

What did you do today? Anything interesting? I bet your day flew fast. Tell me about your day.

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Imaginary Friend


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Many of us had imaginary friends as young children. If your imaginary friend grew up alongside you, what would his/her/its life be like today? (Didn’t have one? write about a non-imaginary friend you haven’t seen since childhood.)

Imaginary friends? I don’t really remember having any as a child. I do remember taking my doll bed and all my dolls out side under the big oak tree. With a blanket on the ground I spent many days and hours with my friends.

I can remember having a Chatty Cathy doll, and a Thumbelina doll. I remember having plastic, little diapers, a magic milk bottle and clothes to change the dolls in. I can remember quite clearly, talking to my babies as if they were real.

Maybe they were real in my mind. Both of my parents worked full-time. Us two kids had an elderly lady who didn’t spend much time with us. I can still see her sitting in the white recliner watching TV. I would go inside and ask her to play with me but she always told me to ” go on now, run outside and play.”

Do we as young kids have that yearning to be a part of something or someone’s life, even before we understand what security actually means. Is it important to have interaction between adults and kids at an early age?

I didn’t grow up with the electronics of today. My parents were strict as far as not allowing me to run the neighborhood. I wasn’t allowed to venture off on my bike for rides of any kind. I could only ride it up and down my street as long as the view of my house could be seen.

I didn’t have a TV in my bedroom, nor did I have privileges to use the one phone in our house unless it was an emergency. Maybe I did have imaginary friends, but I could see them. My dolls, I could hold them, cradle them, sing to them. I possibly told them of my woes at that young age. After all, I knew nothing really of the world. I knew nothing of death.

My parents didn’t discuss finances with children. I think when I look back, and can remember the words of my dad, a child being brought up in my family, the goal was to be seen and not heard.

I know I had a good childhood. I was fed, dressed in clean clothes, bathed, went to Sunday School, went to grandma’s on Sunday for dinner. I was taught good manners. I had it all, but maybe I needed more emotionally. Thank goodness for dolls.

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Well today I went to my orientation for my new job. It was from 9:30am to 5:30pm. I am not going to lie, it was pretty darn boring. Most likely because I have heard it for 23 years. The parts that interested me were the ones that taught me how to clock in and out, what my job description involved and when I got paid.

I had a terrible time keeping my eyes open, but I did it! I almost turned and walked out the front door as we had to stand and do things and I struggled to stand straight. My legs were wobbling and I felt like a tipsy drunk. I was so thankful for every time I got to sit back down. I stayed through it all, but I am concerned.

I sure wish I could find a sit-down job. It would make working so much nicer for me, but so far, I have heard of nothing like that here. Say a prayer for me, some door opens up at my job, or a job made for me shows itself to me.

This afternoon was even worse for me. We practiced with a mannequin, adult male. We had to use a hoyer lift and then we had to transfer him to a chair. Carried him back to the bed, then transferred him without the hoyer and using a gait belt to the chair and then the commode. Every time I had to pick him up, I thought I was going to fall over.

This Parkinson’s seems to affect my legs so terrible. They quiver inside, they shake like I am scared to death; then all of this makes me feel like I am going to fall down. I have fallen a few times down here and I just don’t want to do that at work.

I raced against the clock on getting home. It gets dark a little after 6 and it takes 45 minutes to drive from my house to the  office. With it being 5:30pm, traffic was hell. Everyone on that side of town must have been leaving work. It was bumper to bumper all the way to my main road. I have to do this one more time tomorrow, but only one time, thank goodness.

I have to go there for meetings but they won’t be close to dark. It is a pretty big town in my eyes. They have a big college, a really nice-size mall. It is the home of the National Corvette Museum also. Plenty of things to do, places to see, and loads of places to eat.

I arrived home just as my daylight was turning to dusk. I should have made a crock pot meal this morning, but I didn’t; so I had a fried zucchini, a sliced tomato, bacon, and eggs for supper.

I just had to turn the computer on and check out my emails, play my game and answer replies on WordPress. Next I am going to go take a shower and watch TV. Tomorrow, same thing all over.

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I Will Survive


I was watching a video my daughter-in-law made of my youngest granddaughter on Facebook just now. She is trying so hard to say mama and Dada, but squeals of delight come out of her mouth and her smile is so big.

All of a sudden I felt wet tears stroll down my cheeks. I realized that I will struggle to hold the new babies in the family when I see them next. I was already having issues holding the second youngest grandson before I left my home town.

I tried to blame it on the fact that little E. is such a big boy, but the truth is, each week I get a little less stable. It doesn’t take much walking for my entire leg muscles to start quivering inside and the next thing they do is make me feel like I am going to fall.

Picking up little ones and trying to hold them is not going to be safe for them nor me. I will have to go back to the way we let young children hold their baby siblings; on their laps.

I hate it. I am not feeling sorry for myself. I have lots of life still in me, but I can’t deny that things are changing for me. It makes me cry to think that one day I may become a problem to my family.

I never want this Parkinson’s to get to the place I can’t take care of myself. I don’t want to believe that my children are pondering on what to do with mom. I always joked when the topic of getting old came up before, stating that people could just toss my ass in a nursing home.

After being so closely involved with Al’s care those six months in the nursing home, I don’t wish it on me or anyone else in this world. I know, nursing homes are a blessing to some, but for me, I see it as an end of life. A way of marking off the calendar of how many days I have left to live.

Sounds stupid and sad doesn’t it? I guess I have been working in nursing homes way too long. There are good ones but there are many bad ones. The care can be adequate and state approved, or if you have an abundance of funds, you can get a top-notch one.

No matter what, I don’t want to dwell on the what ifs, but when I see the little ones in my family, I know that there are many years between them and me. I can’t complain about anything.

I have great kids. I had a great marriage at one time. I have a roof over my head and food on the table. I just don’t want to stop yet. I am not ready to deal with anything that may slow me down.

There is so much life out there to live yet. Books to write, words to say, photos to take. I will continue to move forward as long as God allows me to, I will survive.