It seems like all I seem to be able to write about lately is Al. I am sorry I have not put more interesting topics in. I try to think of stuff to write that will interest you but I always come back to Al.
Today he has been weepy. At times he seems confused whether it is day or night and what time it is.
His clothes are laid out by the care giver for tomorrow but it is a surprise that he has shown no enthusiasm towards going. I know in my heart that if I asked him if he still wants to go, his answer will be yes.
He has been a real trooper over these past several months. He is definitely a fighter. Trudging through feelings and pain in order to keep up as good as he can with the routine that he used to have.
Yesterday and last night he couldn’t tell me enough times that he loved me. For my entire life I never heard those words. Now they are a common name in our household.
Today he was telling the care giver that he loved her too. The minister came to visit him and after he left Al fell into a very peaceful sleep.
I was instructed by the Hospice nurse to quit giving him meat from now on. Maybe a treat of some soft meat but most of the time none. I was told to start giving him mashed potatoes, puddings, pancakes, anything soft and easy to swallow. I was also told to quit fixing him regular meals and ask Al what he wanted to eat. If he wanted dessert for breakfast, then give it to him. So I guess at this point we will toss out the window a lot of rules we were taught by our parents.
I was explained without being forth right that Al probably doesn’t have much time left. Maybe he will be here at New Years. I didn’t flinch when I heard it. I suppose I already knew deep inside.
Tonight Al is saying please and thank-you for everything I do for him. I am letting him do it but Lord knows he doesn’t need to thank me for a single thing. It is an honor to be the one caring for him. I am the one getting the gift of memories.
Fills the air
To Al they call
Spring does come
And brings new life
A soul is lifted
With no strife
And when I look
Up to the stars
I have no need to ask
Of where you are
For the seasons come
And seasons go
Life is given
And then we know
That our time on earth
Will one day end
So make every day count
Do all you can.
I don’t know the season of when Al will be made new. But I do know that making every moment count. Whether it is drying his tears, or holding his hand. Listening to him tell me he loves me over and over. All of these things Al shows me what is important to him. He tells me that he doesn’t know any longer if he will be here in the next hour. I give him a hug and let him know that whether it is a minute or an hour, it has been a privilege to be his sister.