It’s been a few days since I have blogged; but I have been busy. As you all know I moved after Al, my brother passed away. I just couldn’t face the home we lived in each day. My mourning was so deep, I couldn’t see anything but him every step I took.

I moved down to my daughter’s area. I knew that I had Parkinson’s and my deep emotions made me believe I would be better off in a new area. I am not positive of the real reasons I moved here. I should state, I don’t know if I made the decision or God allowed the move.

I do know that being away from Warsaw did me a lot of good. I was able to spend more time with my family here in Kentucky. I was introduced to baby chicks, great pets, friendly people and quiet living. I did have a better chance of healing from losing Al. I still think of him daily, but I am better. I have to look at the positive of being out from under those walls he and I shared.

I have been here 8 months. In this time, I have done everything in my power, aside from standing on my head to locate a job. Throughout doubting myself as a suitable candidate for hire, I discovered, that it isn’t so much your qualifications you have obtained; but rather who you know.

Maybe this is true in any small town, or maybe it is due partially to being in the south. I will always admire how family sticks together here and looks out for each other. I don’t see that so much up north.

The job never came. Interviews came and went. No one knew me, so passing me over for someone they knew was their option they took. The weather here is much better. The snow is less, the heat is hotter. More mountains, more trees, more beauty.

In the end, I know from being the age I am that no one is going to take care of me; but me. I say this in all good faith. Of course, if I was in an emergency situation or needed health care or a nursing home, my family would be right there for me.

I am not at that point though. Nursing homes enter my mind; but down the road, and hopefully way down the road.  Using a cane I guess is not that bad. It enables me to still walk. I could be so much worse and hopefully I won’t be worse for a long time. I did learn that I want to live. I can’t sit and worry about what tomorrow will bring, and that is what I was doing; waiting and wondering. What I didn’t do when I was back home was have enough faith in God that as each point came in my life, he would help me solve the problem.

I just know that it didn’t work out here and I must go back home to Indiana. Of course, I will be thrilled to see my 2 sons and all the grandchildren. Definitely, I will miss my family down here.

I have to work. I must have some income flowing into my life. I can not live on faith alone and I refuse to live on hand-outs, so I have made this decision to return. I will be moving back to Indiana May 2. I was able to obtain a nice apartment which is even close to a dear friend of mine. I have already applied for a position there and if nothing else; I can return to Hospice work.

I hate the thought of renting, but I can’t kick myself repeatedly for the decisions I have already made. There is a part of me that doesn’t want to own property any longer. Next week I will be 61 and I am not sure owning property, upkeep, taxes, and worry  is something I really want at this point. I guess I look at it as; I am paying rent in order to live a stress-free life.

So from here until the next 2 weeks, I am doing that nasty thing we all have done at one point or another. I am packing, cleaning and moving.





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24 thoughts on “Moving

  1. It will be I believe. I did cases for Hospice when I lived there. They had called me the day before I moved here.. This is a small town I live in. With being an author and photographer, I have to fall back on my caregiver experience for steady income. Thanks and hugs Katie

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I for one, am very proud of you and your decision. I totally understand. I am making plans to sell my house and move as well. For me, I’d be better away from family because I’m too involved in their lives and have not one of my own outside of my volunteering and writing. I just turned 54 on the 13th of April and I need new surroundings and to just get out! We have so much in common. I’ll have to email you about some things my sister dear.
    Hugs n Love & Congrats! Live for you and God.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, how I wish you were moving in my direction. I am older than you but a lot of days I feel your age. I understand about family butting in too much and I understand about family not butting in enough. Big hugs dear friend


  3. You know, Terry, some wise soul said you shouldn’t make a major life decision for at least one full year after the death of a loved one. Maybe that person was right. I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you there, but at least you did get some very special time with your family down there. Praying for you as you move back.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. you are just full of surprises aren’t you!… but, totally understand…I didn’t hear in your blogs that you really liked where you were…I heard you loved being with your daughter…but, not really “happy”…
    so… another adventure awaits you… and hopefully work that you like…Best to you Terry!…Guess I will not be seeing you in August…but, we will keep in touch…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am not totally surprised to read this one, Terry. I never really felt you liked your new Kentucky home, and I am happy you are going home to Indiana. None of us know whether our decisions are right, wrong, or somewhere in between. But I admire you for saying you want to go where you feel you belong. I’m sure the work will be there, too.
    I will be 69 next week and the thought of renting versus owning doesn’t hold the stigma for me it might have ten years ago. We do what we have to do.
    Take care of yourself in the move! Know that I wish you well wherever you are.


    • Your words mean the world to me. I will miss my family here but they will love me no matter where I am. Work is something I have to have. Can’t pay my bills on hope. Maybe it was a waste of money coming here, maybe not. I’m ready to go home because I know I tried everything I could to make it work here. Hugs


  6. Well another chapter for you Terry. I wish you the very best Terry. I hope you find something which suits you. Big hugs for you! My lovely Terry, you will find something, I am sure! Thumbs up!


  7. Thank you, so many have asked, Are you moving again? I get it, I am one of those movers I guess. I moved many times to try to keep a bad marriage from divorce. I moved when I realized there was no marriage and filed for divorce. I moved my brother out of our parents home and with me after dad died. My brother had such emotional baggage from the memories within that home. He and I moved back to Indiana when he became more ill to receive good doctors. I moved away when Al died because I couldn’t handle his death and learning I had PD. Now I am moving back home because I don’t want to drown financially and be a part of the system. I appreciate your comment, because very few think I am doing the right thing. Love and hugs Ute


  8. sometimes we have to remove ourself from a situation in order to see it clearly. ii would also agree that renting is so much better than owning. we have more than one property and you can not imagine how i would love to give it all up and move into an apartment. just hope you are on the ground floor or they have an elevator.

    who will be helping you? i hope you do not try to overdo it my friend.

    i will be thinking of you, wow! only a few more days


    • I am on the ground floor with only 2 steps. I don’t have to care for the lawn or snow care. Everything easy access for me. No one is helping me pack but my daughter got me boxes. Big hugs


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