funeral expenses | Who I am

It’s really been a rough few days. I have gotten into it with Hospice on more than one occasion. I have told them I need more help from them, as far as their nursing part goes.

I am still struggling with being so tired but my blood pressure is down quite a bit. The medication I now take makes me sleepy and I feel guilt by falling asleep when my caregiver is here along with my girlfriend.

Everyone inside this house is treating me like royalty. It doesn’t feel familiar. It feels strange, but I don’t fight it anymore. I accept with blushed cheeks and will never forget what others are doing for me.

Al’s illness is now in his bloodstream. It has taken over every part of his body and now has entered the blood. It has nowhere to go so it is seeping out of his eyes and mouth. He has a big blister on his feet that is filled with the illness. I pray constantly that God takes him home.

Both Al and I have had what we feel are enough. I pray that if God wants me to learn something else from his sickness, that he opens my eyes so that I may see it. It is breaking my heart, watching Al stuck inside of this shell.

I can see almost exactly in what area Al’s heart is failing. Yesterday his hands were not swollen. Today, once again they are. His leg will swell and then later go back to normal. His skin is getting weak from being in bed so long.

We are having huge issues with his catheter plugging constantly from his kidneys shutting down. I and the caregivers are pretty busy trying to keep Al comfortable. Now the new blister is hurting him but I dare not pop it or touch it.

I have him protected in case it does cause a mess. I just pray, wish and hope this ends very soon. If I could think of one thing that is keeping Al from going to heaven, I would move mountains to make it happen, but I can think of nothing.

I want to let you know that I have worked very hard at making and paying for all arrangements for Al. I hope that I am prepared in every area I could think of. The tombstone was the final goal, and now thanks to you, my friends, that goal is getting closer to being met.

I had the wrong link so here is the correct link if you would care to help.