Thank you Shona for sending me this. I am using it to share with others also.
NOAH TODAY
In the year 2011, the Lord came unto Noah,
who was now living in Australia and said:
“Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end
of all flesh before me.”
“Build another Ark and save
“Build another Ark and save
2 of every living thing
along with a few good humans.”
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
“You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will
start the unending rain for
along with a few good humans.”
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying:
“You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will
start the unending rain for
40 days and 40 nights.”
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard – but no Ark.“Noah!”, He roared,
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah
weeping in his yard – but no Ark.“Noah!”, He roared,
“I’m about to start the rain!
Where is the Ark?”
“Forgive me, Lord”, begged Noah, “but things have changed.”
“I needed a Building Permit.”
“I’ve been arguing with the Boat Inspector
about the need for a sprinkler system.”
“My neighbours claim that I’ve violated the
Neighbourhood By-Laws by building the Ark in my
back garden and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
go to the Local Planning Committee
Where is the Ark?”
“Forgive me, Lord”, begged Noah, “but things have changed.”
“I needed a Building Permit.”
“I’ve been arguing with the Boat Inspector
about the need for a sprinkler system.”
“My neighbours claim that I’ve violated the
Neighbourhood By-Laws by building the Ark in my
back garden and exceeding the height limitations. We had to
go to the Local Planning Committee
for a decision.”
“Then the Local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
passage for the Ark’s move to the sea.
“Then the Local Council and the Electricity Company demanded a shed load of money for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to clear the
passage for the Ark’s move to the sea.
I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.”
“Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save
“Getting the wood was another problem. There’s a ban
on cutting local trees in order to save
the Greater Spotted Barn Owl.”
“I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!”
“When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
a confined space.”
“Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study
on your proposed flood.”
“I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
“I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls – but no go!”
“When I started gathering the animals the RSPCA took me to court. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They
argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in
a confined space.”
“Then the Environmental Agency ruled that I couldn’t build the Ark until they’d conducted an environmental impact study
on your proposed flood.”
“I’m still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on
how many minorities I’m
supposed to hire for my building crew..”
“Immigration are checking the
Visa status of most of the people who
supposed to hire for my building crew..”
“Immigration are checking the
Visa status of most of the people who
want to work.”
“The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with
Ark-building experience.”
“To make matters worse, the Inland Revenue seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally
with endangered species.”
“So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.”
“The trades unions say I can’t use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with
Ark-building experience.”
“To make matters worse, the Inland Revenue seized all my assets, claiming I’m trying to leave the country illegally
with endangered species.”
“So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark.”
“Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched
across the sky.”
Noah looked up in wonder and asked,
“You mean you’re not going to
destroy the world?”
“No”, said the Lord.
“The Government beat me to it.”
Absolute brilliant … we done a good job ourselves .. and not only governments.
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thank you. so glad that you enjoyed this one!!!!!! it is so gloomy out today, total gray skies and rain, a day to stay inside
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We had a pretty good day .. and now is it time for me to do one of my hamburgers … really craving for one today.
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enjoy, we are having meat loaf, and baked potatoes for our supper
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I am definitely stealing this one for my blog too. 😀
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go for it!!!!! LOL
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Done. Though I used 2012 instead of 2011. This is the year that God will allegedly end the world, so it kinda works. 😀
I also wanted to share a smile from an earlier blogpost of mine, called “A Simple Prayer” (equally pilfered – LoL).
http://eveningstaraglow.blogspot.com/2012/10/a-simple-prayer.html
I hope it brings you a smile
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thank you so much Tara. I really appreciate this link. Anything that brings smiles to this house, I am all for. I will read it!!!!! hugs
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that was simple but very easy to understand, and I loved it. I subscribed !
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Oh what a great post! I KNOW exactly what Noah went through!
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do you ever wonder what it would be like if we brought the past to the present???? i do at times…….. thank u for the nice comment!
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If you read my story, “When the Spirit Grandfathers spoke” You’ll understand that I face that each day. The past speaks loudly to me in that story. There is more truth in that story than I ever told anyone. I sometimes wonder if I see things through my own eyes or my ancestors. JW
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i had read some of your stories when i first found your blog, but i did not realize what you are telling me now, and for this, i am sorry. i just read more about you on your about, and understand better. thank u for helping me through this
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Love this, but unfortunately it is too true!!
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yes it is, very true
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Good one, Terry. And it about sums up the way things are today. The pioneers had it good in some ways. They staked out their land, cut down the trees, built their homes, and their herds grazed the land. No building permits. No size regulations. No unions to contend with. No high land taxes. But then, we don’t have to deal with Indian raids, building by hand without power tools, harvesting without huge farm machinery, etc. 🙂
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true, and they had more trust than we have today also, so there is pros and cons, but i think in general, people were nicer,then, than now
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I think you are right and perhaps it is because they were more caring on each other, more community-minded. They had to be in order to survive in the wide-open spaces they pioneered in. Think about the quilting bees, the barn-building bees, etc. They did things together and accomplished so much more without anyone expecting to get the credit for it. Today, it’s every man for himself wanting the credit for himself. It’s really sad to see where our so-called civilization has “progressed” to. In my opinion, it’s more like regression.
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it is regression, but isn’t that what the bible says will happen to the human race? greed, lack of caring, out for one’s self, it is a pity, and i am glad i am the age i am so i don’t have to see more destruction for years to come
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hahahaaaaa…good one! 🙂
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thank you! i try to share ones that i hope that you will enjoy!
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Funny!
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thanks, i thought so too!
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Having read this I believed it was very enlightening.
I appreciate you spending some time and energy to put this content
together. I once again find myself personally spending a significant amount of time both reading and commenting.
But so what, it was still worth it!
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if you enjoyed this or anything else in life, time is never wasted
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