Saved by the Bell

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Challenge

Tell us about a time when you managed to extract yourself from a sticky situation at the very last-minute.

I am bad at last-minute sticky situations, especially right after  Al’s passing. I never want to  hurt a fly let alone a human. To be the one who hurt your feelings sends me into a stage I have trouble escaping.

I will be invited to an outing and I instantly say yes without thinking. Later in the day I will go over in my mind the plan and I will start excusing myself before I arrived. My reasons may be I don’t feel well. I am not into large gatherings. I have things I need to do and for some odd reason, they need to be done at the invitation time.

I will fret and run circles in my mind until that day arrives. I will then become stressed and actually make myself not feel well. By the time the day has arrived I either call and decline the invitation using one of my many mind excuses; or I will go and end up having a nice time.

I guess I am afraid of the unknown, the comfort zone I would have to leave. I can’t have it both ways. I can’t be invited and not attend and I can’t sit and have my one-man band, at my own pity party, wishing someone would just think about me.

I am getting better these past two weeks. I have been stepping out in faith that I will be fine and maybe have a good time. I ponder on the invite mentally for a few seconds. I check my calendar and then I respond.

I may be nervous and a little bit of butterflies in my stomach, but I don’t back out and I usually have a good time. If it is nerves and anxiety that make me want to run through the revolving door of the activity I take a time out and take my little white pill to get me through.