My Brother

Things are no better this evening than they were earlier. Well, I guess a couple of things have lessened. He is no longer crying and this is good. He is still restless. Now he moans constantly. Have any of you ever had this happen with a loved one at the end?

I can’t tell you what kind of moan it is. It could be a moan to God. It may be a moan of dispair. It sounds terrible and what is the worst for me is I can’t make out a word he is saying.

I have gone in so many times when I hear him to only walk out knowing for sure that I have used every technique taught to me throughout the years, and have given him all of his medications.

He ate about three bites of his baby fruit and had two syringe fulls of water. He is dry. He hasn’t done any messy stuff on his bed pad. I just don’t know what else I can do to be quite honest.

His moans make me feel like he is begging someone for something. So I have stopped going in his room every time I hear him because I come out frustrated and he is the same not getting me to understand what he is saying.

Hospice did tell me today with his oxygen being so low he may be getting a little confused. I don’t know, maybe this is some of it. I pray that Al and I get some sleep tonight, because I am just plain dead tired.



30 thoughts on “My Brother

  1. I believe the moaning is just the sound of a man who is walking with the angels and whose is still attached to his body.
    Think I would tell him that he will be on his way soon.
    Give him permission to make that final leap.
    Remind him of the glory waiting for him and remember to breathe an know you have made his final walk so much easier and filled with love.


    • I have just spent the last hour holding his hand and praying for God to release him. We are both waiting. Al is ready and I, although broken in tears today, am ready for him to be healed. Love and hugs my good friend


  2. Terry, the moans most likely don’t mean anything at all, they’re just a release of whatever, like a sigh. He may not become agitated and combative at all at this stage if you gave him morphine, I just don’t know…hugs

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Terry,

    When I read your earlier post, and then this one, my spirit felt led to share this scripture passage with you. Please read pray that the Lord will open your eyes to the truth of this passage, and that He will give you an understanding heart. I used the New Living Translation of this scripture, because it is most easily understood for we, who live in today’s culture, speaking the language of today, and not some old, hard to understand version. My prayer is that you will read this, and the Lord will comfort you and Al, and that you will both know true peace. The promises in this particular scripture passage and the hope that it gives, is for true born again Christians only. Those who do not walk with Christ, do not have the Holy Spirit…

    “18 Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory He will reveal to us later. 19 For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who His children really are. 20 Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, 21 the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. 22 For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. 23 And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies He has promised us. 24 We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. 25 But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.)

    26 And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. 27 And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. 28 And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.” (Romans 8:18-28)

    Do you see the part about the groanings, Terry? If Al is truly a child of God, then it you can see why he groans — because all of creation is groaning for that day when God will reveal Himself in all His glory. Not only that, but it is very possible, if Al is a Christian, that the Holy Spiritis praying for him with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. So perhaps Al is groaning to be released from his body of sin and suffering, because he is waiting for that day when God gives him his full right as an adopted child of God, including the new body God has promised him… a body that is free from sin, fear, sickness like the MSA he suffers from, and dying… and the Holy Spirit is now pleading and groaning on Al’s behalf.

    Do you understand, my friend? If this is the case, then those groans are not anything for you to worry about. Al is talking to his Daddy in heaven, and the Holy Spirit is talking to our heavenly Daddy too, on Al’s behalf, for his mortal body that is rotting away to be replaced by his new, immortal body. And Terry, my friend, there is nothing more that you can do for Al. What is happening now, is between both God and Al alone. So, please, try to stop answering Al’s prayers, because you can’t, and you mustn’t feel guilty about that, because look at what the scripture says about the groanings of a man of God, and God’s Holy Spirit’s groanings. Holy Spirit prays for Al in perfect harmony with God’s will, while God is at work, causing ALL things, even this dreadful illness, and certainly Al’s and Holy Spirit’s groanings, to work together for the good of those who love Him (if Al loves God, then this promise is for him), and are called according to God’s purpose…

    The very best advice I can give you, beloved friend, is to pray. Pray for Al to be at peace with his heavenly father, and pray for God to release Al from his mortal body and replace it with his new immortal body that is free from sin, sickness and corruption, and rejoice, Terry, for very soon now, if all that you have said about Al is true, and he loves the Lord, then he will soon be with the Lord, who has loved Al even more than you do!

    Be comforted, my friend, for it is not the end of Al’s life that you are witnessing, but the very beginning of his eternal life in his immortal body, and just as the butterfly must shed itself of its old caterpillar body, so Al must shed himself of his old body, and though it may be painful, it will be worth it.

    Much love to you and many blessings,


    • I totally understand what you are saying after today. Al was able to speak well enough to let me understand that he is begging God to take him home. He keeps asking me how does he go? Can you help me with a better answer than I give him? I tell him to relax and let every worry remain here


  4. If he is not getting ehough oxygen , he will probably halluzinating. (my dad did at the end….. and just used his arms and said things which were form the past (war related) That seems to be another step. I will be praying continuously for his new journey to start soon, Terry many hugs!


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