Things are no better this evening than they were earlier. Well, I guess a couple of things have lessened. He is no longer crying and this is good. He is still restless. Now he moans constantly. Have any of you ever had this happen with a loved one at the end?
I can’t tell you what kind of moan it is. It could be a moan to God. It may be a moan of dispair. It sounds terrible and what is the worst for me is I can’t make out a word he is saying.
I have gone in so many times when I hear him to only walk out knowing for sure that I have used every technique taught to me throughout the years, and have given him all of his medications.
He ate about three bites of his baby fruit and had two syringe fulls of water. He is dry. He hasn’t done any messy stuff on his bed pad. I just don’t know what else I can do to be quite honest.
His moans make me feel like he is begging someone for something. So I have stopped going in his room every time I hear him because I come out frustrated and he is the same not getting me to understand what he is saying.
Hospice did tell me today with his oxygen being so low he may be getting a little confused. I don’t know, maybe this is some of it. I pray that Al and I get some sleep tonight, because I am just plain dead tired.
Who I am 