Waiting For the Top

These past weeks have not been as well as I wish they were. I have had many more tremors. I have had pain in my side and stomach. My sternum has been hurting. It feels like my organs have been pushed up and out from under my ribs.

Mood swings between smiling sincerely and faking a smile have been on a roller coaster lately. I seem to go to bed not feeling well and get up feeling about the same. Last night, I got that itch and tingle of pain in my eye.

I recognized it from previous times. With being older, the eyelids can begin to drop lower. This in turn can cause any of the tear ducts to plug up. It causes a sting and itching and a doctor’s visit.

My sugars seem to be riding on the valleys too. Almost daily I swing from too low to moderate high.

I am so sick of not feeling well, some days I just don’t want to get up. I am still trying to see one good thing in each day that is good, but most days I would rather sleep it away. I used to wake-up and get on the computer. Now days I force myself to get on.

I don’t understand what is going on. I need to get back on top again, and am hoping it happens soon. My birthday is next month, and I think it isn’t as exciting as it was when I was a kid. Can you look forward to your birthday and yet wish it away?

I knew today I had to visit the doctor because of my eye. I know from the past experiences, it doesn’t get better without medication. I went and told them about my aches and pains in my gut. I left knowing I am dealing with a spastic colon due to eating foods that are not good for me.

Now, I have some medication and restrictions on foods until I get everything back in place. I got medicine for my eye.

My two sons keep in touch with me, and I see the grandkids when I can. I finally got my car fixed with a guarantee. It ended up being a very expensive chip in the car. The mice that decided to home in my car for the winter cost me over $2,000 to fix. So much for mice being cute little nose wigglers.

I miss so many people and things I used to do; but I am going to keep my head held high and wait to climb back on top.

Thanks for listening.



13 thoughts on “Waiting For the Top

    • Thanks Ute, I don’t know if part of it is getting older or what, but I am sick of feeling sick! lol. I do believe sunshine is a natural cure for ailments, and am looking forward to receiving more of it.

      Liked by 1 person

  1. I clicked on ‘like’ but of course I don’t like hearing this, Terry. Thinking of you xxx (oh, I have begun drinking green juice and it is helping my mood swings!) I know green juice is a bit of a fad but you never know – it might help? Julie xxxxxxxx


    • If it is natural, I will try something too. Do you go through the mood swings often? I seem to and can never understand what brings them on. The health issues I believe are a part of being older. The moods I go through seem to have come from losing Al. I am glad they are not daily, but because I have to deal with them at all, irritates me. I just want to sleep those days

      Liked by 1 person

    • I believe the eye problem is from allergies due to Spring blossoms and rain. I am also thankful it will not be a permanent thing. I think I hate the mood swings the most. I don’t understand why I get them out of the blue, and I hate dealing with them. I wish my mind would go back to my twenties when I thought about nothing much more than what I was going to do fun that day. Big hugs


    • I don’t understand what makes some days good or sad. I pretty much live each day the same. Any ideas? I do know I have been this way since my brother died, but that was two years ago


      • Boy, that’s a good question, Terry. Isn’t it interesting how our perception of things can change at different times? Same applies to me. I guess there is no good or bad, it’s just how we look at things. But, of course we’d all agree that there are things that are far better (or worse) than others. Anyway, keep seeing the good in things, my friend. It’s there in each day. Have a good weekend.


  2. Hi, Terry. Yes, it is difficult being in constant pain day after day. I am very sorry for your suffering! I know only a little of it–as I have been dealing with a Baker’s Cyst behind my left knee since January of this year. Even when I try to sleep at night, there is constant pain with the leg outstretched. However, after reading what you endure, I cannot imagine not having tear ducts that function well…and the pains of an irritated stomach are not fun either! I keep eliminating foods one by one…I have lost half of my large intestine due to diverticulitis–I just keep looking for the “right food” that does not disturb me…yes, it is a LONG PROCESS. Keep strong! We are with you!


    • My brother had a Baker cyst on the back of his knee. Because he was mentally challenged doctor would not remove it stating it is agressive therapy to the leg after surgery to remove it. He took it to his grave along with all the pain it caused, so I understand. My stomach is better only because I watch what I eat carefully. I want total healing but am satisfied with the word better. Hugs


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