But Al and God Do

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I don’t know what is going on right now, but Al does. I find it odd that I wrote a prompt for Daily Prompt, called Twilight Zone. It was written as I would like to see Al leave. Now a couple of hours after I wrote that, Al started asking questions.

He hasn’t spoken all day and even now I can barely make out what he is saying, but I got enough to know where his head is. He started out asking me what kind of light he would see when he left. He went from there to asking me how he should let Jesus know he is ready.

Through many tears I answered him the best I could. He is breathing shallow, and some gasping for air, but I have seen this for a while now. He told me that he sees some people and that while I was washing dishes he asked Jesus to take him home.

I stayed with Al for a long time and we just chatted and when I got ready to leave his room for bed, I told him more than once how I thought he was the best brother in the whole world. I told him how much I loved him. I told him that if he decided to go home during the night it was alright with me.

I turned to leave his room and I told him once more again how much I loved him and he said something. I couldn’t make out what it was so I went back to him and leaned down so I could hear him. He said, ” I love you too sis, see you later.”

I don’t know what that means. Only Al and God does, but I do know that I am crying like a big baby right now. Fear that I will wake up and he is gone is real. No one knows Al’s time, but God and Al do.

The words are blurry so I am getting off of here. I will check on him one more time. I will tell him one more time that I love him. I will hold his hand so he knows I love him, just in case he leaves tonight, and then I will leave it in God’s hands and go to bed.Alvin and nurse

 

20 thoughts on “But Al and God Do”

    • Terry im truly sorry to hear of Als continued suffering.Ihave mentioned before that this terrible vicious spiteful disease has no let up and no fear of any GOD at all.No god if there is one, has any control over this killer.This thing inside your brother and myself is a law unto itself ,it twists our bodies and minds terribly ,the pain we suffer is unsurpassed by any other,every nerve end inside us hurts at the same time,it hurts so much and although we try we cannot explain because it has changed our speach and the movement and use of arms and legs. We cannot eat by ourselves cannot swallow properly so we feed through atube into our stomachs,we cannot wash ourselves, dress or undress cannot go to the toilet ourselves it makes us incontinent,have trouble breathing and still the pain is always there.No one can help.You are a wonderful sister and carer to Al and have worked so hard to aid him in every way.You should be proud of yourself ,no one could have done more for him.Al knows and will remember you eternaly.He will watch over you and be so proud of you.YOU are the one that has looked after and cared for his every need, you are the one who has sat with him held his hand wiped his brow and cried for him and with him without any thought for yourself exactly as my wife has for me.If there is agod why is there so much suffering in this world.I hope for Al that god does exist and he comes soon to wrap him in his arms and end his pain.Ihope your god loves you keeps you and spares you any more pain.Our hearts and thoughts are with you both . Michael

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  8. I love you Terry, and I love Al too, though I live far away from you and we’ve never met physically. It sounds as though Al is ready to go home and be with his Father and with Jesus. I don’t know a whole lot, but one thing I’m pretty sure of is this — Al knows his big sister loves him, so don’t even question that. What’s more, Al loves you too, with his whole heart.

    Furthermore, Terry, God loves you. He knows how you have struggled and cried, how you have wanted to believe, and yet struggled with your faith in the midst of the darkness, and He understands that. He knows that even in your weakest moments, though you have questioned and even doubted Him at times, you have also tenaciously clung to your faith, in spite of your fears, your worries and your doubts, and He loves you. Terry, this prayer from Ephesians 3:14-21 is the prayer that I pray for you, because even though you’ve suffered much already, when Al goes home, your grief may be overwhelming, and you will need to know this.

    “When I think of all this, I fall to my knees and pray to the Father, the Creator of everything in heaven and on earth. I pray that from His glorious, unlimited resources He will empower you with inner strength through His Spirit. Then Christ will make His home in your heart as you trust in Him. Your roots will grow down into God’s love and keep you strong. And may you have the power to understand, as all God’s people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is. May you experience the love of Christ, though it is too great to understand fully. Then you will be made complete with all the fullness of life and power that comes from God.

    Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to Him in the church and in Christ Jesus through all generations forever and ever! Amen.”

    I love you, Terry, and I will continue to pray this prayer for you. Hold fast to your Father’s love for you, and know that His love for you goes far beyond all that you could ever think or imagine, and that His love for Al is equally strong. May the Lord bless you and keep you, may He be gracious to you and let the light of His countenance shine on you and give you peace. Amen.

    Love always,
    Cheryl

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  10. Good morning Terry,
    I read this after reading your other post. I don’t know what this means, but one thing I do know is that you and Al are in the hand of God and God is preparing you for your journey without Al.
    I will keep praying.
    Shalom,
    Patricia

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  12. Al is blessed to have you, and you have both been blessed to experience such an amazing relationship with each other. I continue to pray for you both during this emotional transition. Hugs!

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  13. Gods love and mine to both of you. I know it will still be hard and I know you are trusting God but your heart will still break – that is the time to just rest in God’s care and let Him take care of you. Trust me in this. When Tom died so suddenly God’s love and strength carried me through those darkest days.

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  14. You will never regret your kind words spoken to Al or all the sacrifices you have made for him. Once these troublesome times are past you will be comforted by these memories. Lord bless you. My prayers continue.

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