Good News First, Then The Other News

I blogged a bit ago about my brand new book on the market called Dahlia. That was the best news for me.

Now the second news update. This is about Al. Today has been an iffy day. Al woke up at seven this morning breathing very heavy. The shower lady and my caregiver came at eight. Al was still breathing pretty rough.

It wasn’t long until the nurse arrived. She noticed his one lung was swollen with fluids. We all stood around his bed as the nurse checked him over. She stated Al’s lungs are very rattly and crackly.

His hands were swollen as usual but there was graying on the top of both hands along with blue and grey nails. The nurse could find no pulse and there was no way to get his blood pressure as the rattle was too loud. The heart could not be heard through the stethoscope.  They always check his oxygen levels. One side finger checked 74 and the opposite side finger checked out at 65. A perfect o2 is 97-100.  His  heart rate was 214 beats per minute.

He tried very hard to talk all day but all we could get out of what he was saying was that he was dying. He had a high temperature this morning and we have been battling this issue now for ten days. He had one spot on his foot that the nurse questioned whether it was mottling or not. This is a term used at the end of life when the skin becomes grey in color.

For today I am living in the minute. It is not unusual for Al to bounce back a bit, but he never goes back to the state he was prior to the new decline. I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but for now, he is breathing and sleeping.

He is only eating two or three bites of food and taking very little water. My heart is breaking. I know it is best he leaves me, but my heart is open-wide with pain and sorrow. My prayers continue for him and I keep reminding myself God is in complete control. All I can do is love Al and comfort  him with my love and medications.

There was good news today with my new book, Dahlia, at Create Space and in the same heart there is fear and sorrow for my brother.


28 thoughts on “Good News First, Then The Other News

  1. I’m so sorry that this is a long process for you and for Al. I know you both suffer in silence and that breaks my heart. In God’s timing…all will be His. NO MORE SUFFERING, NO MORE PAIN. Terry it appears that you have lost a lot of weight, are you eating well enough to keep your health in tack? Stay strong sweetheart…


    (( HUGS ))



  2. Hugs sweetie and walk one step at a time and remember Al is already with the angels and already is holding hands with them and being comforted by them.
    You see the body getting ready to allow the spirit to fly fee and the spirit which is the true Al, is already holding hands with the angels.


  3. You are in my thoughts as you traverse this final part of the painful journey…….try to remember as much as you can, those final times are hard to bring to mind in
    the days to come. Love, love all is love xx


  4. One day at a time, Terry, one day at a time. It’s all you can do. I’m glad you got your book out and if I could see print on paper still, I’d buy it. I’ve always said you should write a book and now you have. So, mazel tov as we say.

    You and Al are in my thoughts, as always, and sending love from afar…
    xoxo, A


  5. It’s been awhile since I’ve gotten around to commenting. Things are so difficult for you guys, and under the circumstances you’ve done a really good job of caring for Al. I remember what things were like when we were caring for gran, except at least there were so many of us living close to each other we could actually vary the time we all spent caring for her. You’re working really hard as it is, and I can only hope that the staff levels out, and the last few days of caring for Al become less physically and mentally taxing with their help. None of this will ever be easy, but God is definitely with you as you struggle with all of this. It’s evident in the little things that He’s done to reassure you, and He’ll continue to be with you both all the way to the end of this.

    Do take care, especially with yourself. ♥♥♥


    • HI Kadeen, it is wonderful to talk to you again. Yes, this has been rough both on Al and me but his time is almost up and his reward is heaven. What a wonderful gift God is giving to him. I am struggling health wise and I had to finally break down and go to the doctor. One day this will be looked back on as wonderful memories of the things that Al and I did together. We had a lot of fun


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