The Pandemic Battle Curse

I don’t know your age and maybe it doesn’t matter much when we speak about the lack of moving due to our pandemic.

I can’t believe I have been pretty much in my home since March of this year. It has been long enough now, that it feels normal to me, but what doesn’t feel normal is the aches and pains I have.

I am pretty sure that some of it is due to my age and the other part is due to lack of movement. I have aches in my knees and hands and sometimes hips. I think there are also days of slight depression as I argue with myself about getting up and moving. I am really good at making excuses up.

I don’t stand very well. It’s way too hot outside. I don’t feel good today. I’m tired. I’ll do it tomorrow. Have you said any of those things to yourself? I am not talking about an exercise program or running a five k.

I’m talking about just beginning to do some stretches here at home with some music in the background. This is when I think I realize I have depression days. A time where I know what is best for me but a matching excuse on why I can’t.

It is summer time and each summer for the past three, I have had issues with swollen ankles. My doctor says that as long as the swelling reduces each morning, there is no reason for alarm. Maybe if I moved more, I wouldn’t have this issue. I’m not sure, but if you watch TV or read articles, living is all about the exercise.

The bad thing is, I never liked exercising unless it was fun and others were involved. I love swimming and used to do that a lot until the lakes around my area became more polluted. There is the YMCA and I tried that too but didn’t enjoy it so much in the summer as the pools were packed with kids and I didn’t like being cold in the winter after leaving the building from exiting the pool.

I used to love to take walks. I actually miss it a lot. It isn’t fun to walk any longer as it is more work than pleasure because of my Ataxia. I can remember as a youth, I loved to play tether ball and bad mitton. Did you ever play either of those?

After reading back my words, I believe I am too used to sitting and a bit depressed and not very energetic. Shame on me. This is one area that no one can fix but me. It sucks when we realize the truth and then battle with ourselves on what to do with that truth. I hope that you are dealing with this pandemic much better than I am. Hopefully, one day it will be over and we can go back to our old normal.

Now, let’s talk about that weight gain throughout these months of the pandemic. No, on the other hand, let’s not. That’s a whole other story.

Pains and Gains/ The Daily Post

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/dp_prompt/pains-and-gains/#like-89435

Do you agree with Jane Fonda’s favorite exercise motto, “no pain, no gain?” Is it impossible to attain greatness without considerable hardship?

 

There are a few points to this question. Different ways to look at life, where you are at in it, and your health and contentment.

When I was in my twenties and beginning to raise my family I wanted to be like other moms. If there was talk about joining a friend or group to exercise, I was all for it and joined in.

We laughed at the end of the session as we limped or rubbed a sore body part. We knew we were tough and could endure the pain, stating to each other how out of shape we all were in.

We were more in tune with clothing. We squeezed our butts into tight-fitting jeans. Showing a little cleavage wasn’t a bad thing either; after all, everything stayed in place and perky.

Make-up on, hair always done, nails freshly polished; yes, pain for gain was absolutely worth it.

Last night I was sitting at the table with my friends at the Moose. We all ate supper together and then from the time we disposed of our plates we began our chatter. We thought nothing of our conversations. We spent more time laughing until our guts hurt and tears were rolling down our faces.

An hour or so of this passed, minutes ticking by, when we all began to notice how much sooner it is getting dark outside. One of my friends made a show-stopping comment and we all quit laughing.

Her words were, ” do you realize that all we have talked about is the amount of pain we are in”?

Those words hit me hard. We all looked at each other. I looked around at the people sitting near me. I fit in too well. I fit in the category of older people. I could tell by the conversations that we were all in the same boat with similar issues.

Some were speaking about how little time they had to themselves as they were caring for a parent. Others were speaking about how tired they were after still having to work too many hours in a week. Some faces reminded me of a person showing up to the dinner out of routine; but if they really thought about it, they would rather be home in their favorite chair, watching TV and nodding off and on.

My friends and I were doing the same thing, but we were still laughing about the pain we are going through, just like I did when I was in my twenties. The laughing stopped after my friend’s words. She continued on with, ” I want to talk about the weather, beautiful roses, the stars at night.”

Yes, that sounded so peaceful and enjoyable, but the truth is; it is hard to speak of those visions when pain interrupts our daily pain. The thought of real exercise brings a wrinkle to my face. A nice walk wouldn’t be bad, but I don’t want that terrible pain for gain feeling any longer.

I have issues with my Parkinson’s that I don’t like. There is no particular thing I do or not to bring it on. My muscles twitch. Sometimes it feels like little ants are crawling on my arms. I will look but see nothing, brushing off the invisible creatures.

When I walk I feel unsteady. The fear of falling drops the vision of  the wonderful time I have of taking a nice, long walk. My legs tremble when I move them. It just makes me feel weak all over.

Instead of thinking of enduring an exercise class, I am more in tune with what medications I can take to ease the pain. I ponder on giving into the tired feelings I have and take a nap. I don’t go out of my way anymore to do a lot of house cleaning all in one day like I used to. I do a little each day and sometimes if my pain is enough I will skip a day of cleaning.

I can look back now, as well as all of us sitting at that table and become a little sad at what we can’t do today that we did only ten years ago. The positive note in this though was sitting together and for a good amount of time, we laughed at each other for the pains we were enduring.

The best exercise for people at my age or with terminal illness is laughter. If we don’t laugh, we don’t live. My advice today is no more pain for gain. We should do what feels comfortable. Take a shorter walk, dance a slower dance, stay involved with family and friends; and lastly, enjoy each day like there is no more tomorrow.

All in a Day

Today was a little busy for me. I woke up way too early. I don’t know what this waking up early thing is, but I don’t like it. I am ready for a nap by noon. Today I felt so much pain in my shoulder and neck area. I had heard from someone on here or Facebook, that maybe using it may actually heal it, so I decided to give it a try.

I ate my breakfast and then went outside and started taking down the campfire lights. I took down my home-made clothes line. I proceeded to pull the weeds around the ramp and flower beds.

From bending over so often I got terrible heart burn. I have noticed for some time that when I bend over this happens. I assume it is age related and the muscles in my esophagus are weakening. The heart burn lasted for half the day.

Since my son has moved my yard has gone to the dogs. It looked so bad I was getting embarrassed but he came today and mowed it. My arm and neck didn’t get better. In fact my wrists are swollen tonight.

I cleaned up and went to my favorite store. It seemed to me they upped the prices on things making it hard to make any purchases. I went upstairs to the area I love most. They sell primitives, lights and candles. It always smells so good up there.

When I came down the stairs I didn’t do so well. My legs felt like they were going to fall apart. They started shaking. I was never so glad to get back on the main floor in my entire life. I don’t know if this was from trimming earlier or Parkinson’s Disease.

From reading up on PD I am learning that patients get tired easily. All I know is I don’t like any of it. Tremors drive me crazy and weak legs make  me feel unsteady. I went to the grocery store because I had to get bread. I probably would have come home when I left the first store but my bread had molded. I am not eating anything with blue/green clinging to it.

When I arrived home I remembered I had started a load of wash with my bedding. I emotionally kicked myself for not putting clean sheets on like I usually do. I had left it to do later. Later never helps me. I need to do things now.

I made the bed and then laid down after putting my groceries away and I fell asleep for a couple of hours. Sleep is a nice gift for me. I don’t have to feel all the pain I feel daily.

Now the day is turning to dusk and I am watching the Walton’s. Another day  ending. I made it and wait for a new day to arrive.

Happy Memorial Day

http://kattermonran.com  I consider Al to be one of my very close blogging friends. He helps me in ways I didn’t realize that I needed help with. When I saw the post just now, it once again hit home. I copied and pasted it so you could read it also below.

… Remember, You Are Listening. ~ Bob Proctor

When we talk to people about ourselves, a lot of the time we run ourselves down, and if we do it…

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Happy Memorial Day

http://kattermonran.com  I consider Al to be one of my very close blogging friends. He helps me in ways I didn’t realize that I needed help with. When I saw the post just now, it once again hit home. I copied and pasted it so you could read it also below.

 

… Remember, You Are Listening. ~ Bob Proctor

When we talk to people about ourselves, a lot of the time we run ourselves down, and if we do it enough, we start to believe it. When you talk to someone, and they steer the conversation to you, tell them what you can do, not what you can’t. Tell them the good things about you, not the bad. Tell them what makes you smile, not what makes you sad. You are deserving of happiness, and you know why? Because you make a difference in this world just by being you. You will never find a better you.

The first thing I catch myself doing when I am talking to just about anyone is cut myself down. I don’t want to do it, but I do it anyways. I dog myself about  my age.

Sometimes I am so fearful of getting old that I blurt out that I am old or getting too old for this or that. I have been going to see a job coach and the first thing she told me was to quit knocking myself down about the age thing.

I hadn’t even realized that I was doing it, but obviously, she had heard it. Why do I do it? We all are going to die at some point. I think about the horrid pain and death my brother went through and then I quietly whisper to myself the word wimp.

If he could be in constant pain for over a year and go through the internal changes he did, then surely I can deal with my injured tendons, aches and pains and be thankful for the facts that I can still walk. I can feed myself, dress myself.

If a soldier can be placed in a setting where his life could be placed in immediate danger, than what is my problem. A soldier can be torn from his family for months at a time.

I am sure he is not dining on steak and mashed potatoes and doesn’t have the wide choices of eating healthy or not at times. Carrying the heavy equipment on his back, slithering through dusty ground, sleeping in less comfort of  his own bed.

Oh Terry, you have life so good. Your pain and fears are so unworthy of cutting yourself down. Live for today girlfriend, give thanks for every single thing you have and quit worrying about your age or how close to death you are. You have a long way to go baby, make each day count.

Thank-you Al from A mixed bag,  for being the wonderful friend and confidant that you have been for so long. Thank-you God for allowing me to go through the circumstances I have been through.Thank-you Al, my brother, for giving me the opportunity to care for you. Thank-you Jesus, for loving me with all my weak areas. Let me help those who need a comforting shoulder or to be able to recognize their hurting soul. Amen