Fears, Phobias, What?

I went out today. It felt wonderful to be out with my car radio and the sun shining. It blew the stink off of me, LOL. I went to the pharmacy and picked up my monthly medications. Let me tell you how much I hate taking medications; pretty darn awful bad! Does that say it in a nutshell?

I started learning about stress many years ago. One day I was walking down the sidewalk and I passed out. Thankfully, a store owner or God through him, knew what my problem was by looking at me. He ran inside and grabbed some orange juice and had me drink it.

Yes, my sugars had bottomed out. Those were the days when I first started relying daily on Diabetes meds. I was switched to this one or that one in order to find what was good for me. In that process, I learned the word phobia.

I have the biggest phobia about medications today. I hate taking new medications worst of all. I remember when I lived in Florida, my doctor thought my blood pressure could use a different dosage. He upped it and the next morning I took one of the new ones.

I don’t remember how long, but I think it was before noon, that suddenly all I could see around me was shades of gray. It scared me and I called the doctor’s office. I told the receptionist what was wrong and before I knew it, the doctor, himself, was on the phone and stayed with me, instructing me on what to do to raise my blood pressure.

The medicine had lowered it too much. Now, with those two memories I have the biggest phobia ever taking pills. I will never be that one person who tries drugs, because I am too darn scared.

If I  have to take a new medication, I will cut it in  half, and then go into panic attack mode for the first two hours. If I am still alive after two hours, then I start to relax. Sounds so silly doesn’t it? At those moments, fear is bigger than life itself.

I don’t know how to get past it. I am worse today than 20 years ago. I used to tell the nurses where I worked that when my time comes to enter a nursing home, I will be the one to turn down the pudding or applesauce, because I know they hide pills in them. LOL

So now it is going on 6pm. I just took my evening pills and will now eat supper. Watching TV or getting on Facebook for the remainder of the evening. Do you have any phobias? Any real fears that seem big? Wanna tell me about them?



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