It’s Time To Be Me!


Rocky statue // Philadelphia

Today, I got my spirit back! I got a spirit that is tougher than ever, thanks to all of the people who have crossed my paths in my lives and have hurt me in some way.

I have always been the all too caring woman, thinking of others before myself, and this is a good quality, right? Not always, when you discover that you are the black carpet, instead of some shade of red.

I want to thank those people on here that keep telling me I am worth it, worth what exactly, I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter, I am worthy.  I want to thank my long time friend, who drilled it in my head, that I am allowed to have opinions and thoughts, that I do not have to believe what others say about me.

I live my life the best I know how, and I take care of my brother the best that I can. I have learned today, that trying to earn someone’s love, or being afraid of someone turning their back on me, isn’t worth it.

I have learned also that I am smart, not too bad-looking for my age, lol, and I can do many things for myself. I have had to carry full responsibilities for the last five years, so I think I can figure out how to get things done if need be. I have moved several states away, and purchased homes, set up special doctors for Al, buy groceries, get the car maintainance done when required, be a nurse here at home, cook, clean house. Remember, when I had to have more people on the job to get the roof done? Well, it may have not been the most appropriate way to get it done, but I did it! My girlfriend always tells me I am a survivor, and deep down I am. I let other people’s remarks and ignoring me, tear me down, causing me to look to myself to see what I did wrong. It isn’t always me, sometimes it is others not getting their way.

Fear of being yourself, and not standing  up for who you are, is not healthy, and I have found I am getting ill from letting this continue. I don’t know who really got my attention, but I would bet my bottom dollar that God and my friend and all of you who have written your encouragements are the ones responsible.

Don’t worry, I won’t get a big head or become ego minded, this is not me, but I am going to start shrugging off the crap, quit worrying why about everything and everyone, and just live my life. God wants me to be happy while serving him right? I need to be happy for my own well being, so I had to change. I will just work on being the person God placed on this earth.

Thank you everyone for not letting me sink!

 

45 thoughts on “It’s Time To Be Me!

      • No, Terry, you’re not wrong, I’m just offering another way of looking at it. If we are the well-loved children of God, then it makes sense that like any parent, God passed on some awesome qualities on to us…it’s up to us to remember that and not beat ourselves up, because when we beat ourselves up, we’re beating up the Divine gift…

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      • i totally understand. thank u for reexplaining to me. i just got tired of hurting due to others actions when it actually has nothing to do with me, the person

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    • thank you! i know i will end up still being me, but i am sick of worrying what others think, why they don’t come around, why they think they know more, and on and on. i just want to be a little bit tougher, and not take it all to heart! nice to know u agree

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  1. I’m happy to hear!!! You are a survivor and definitely strong,as well as compassionate, and it’s awesome that you’re seeing these things in yourself again. 😀

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      • It was good. We didn’t go to church on Sabbath because we had to go to the hospital to visit one of mom’s friends. She had some form of stroke, but she’s doing better, and the therapy is going well. Also, crusade is going on, so I’ve been out with that. It wasn’t an awful one at all. Yours?

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      • sorry to hear about your mom’s friend.
        our weekend was without challenges for the most part, so that was good. we don’t attend church any longer due to Al’s behaviors in church. we watch charles stanley and joyce meyers here at home now. i basicly cleaned and goofed off

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  2. “God wants me to be happy while serving him right? I need to be happy for my own well being, so I had to change. I will just work on being the person God placed on this earth” couldn’t have said it better myself! Still praying! Lord bless.

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    • thank you Rob. this change came so quickly, like God just turned me around. it feels good! it gives me energy and more strength. i am sure your prayers have been helping. thank you for all the prayers

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    • i feel like god has made me new again, like when you give yourself to the lord? renewed with new strength. i feel wonderful and partially healed! prayers work, and god is wonderful

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    • i feel god has renewed my thinking, and i don’t feel bad about thinking about me. i am so used to putting me on the back burner, it feels good to put me on the front burner along with Al

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  3. Way to go, Terry! 🙂 There is nothing wrong with being you and standing up for yourself and not being able to be everything all the time for everyone. Happy to read this…and speaking of reading, not sure if you’ve heard of this book or not but it’s terrific. http://store.cloudtownsend.com/boundaries-softcover-book.html I bought it earlier this year and it’s had a pretty decent impact on me, in a positive way. It talks about setting healthy boundaries and how that is a perfectly ok thing to do 🙂

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    • thank you Brian. you are right, there is nothing wrong with being me. it feels strange so i imagine it will take time to get used to saying no. i have never read this book you gave the link to, but i will definitely look it up! i think that you read books that uplift you and encourage you, so i know it would be good for me also! thanks and hugs

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