My Parents Rules
Excuse me while I tell you about what I was thinkingwhile sitting in the lady’s room on the throne.…
Excuse me while I tell you about what I was thinking while sitting in the lady’s room on the throne. I know, right? We get some of our best ideas in those little rooms.
I was wondering how they would feel about the care I give Al. I was going back in time and remembering all the “rules of life” they instilled in us kids.
Now many years later I look at myself and see that I didn’t listen to everything they said.
Some of the rules I can remember getting ground into my head were;
1. Don’t eat with your elbows on the table.
Well I do have excellent manners when I dine out, but here at home, I don’t care as much. Who sees me? Only Al and Rhino and they don’t care as long as I am here.
2. Bedtime is at 10pm. I don’t care what others do, at this house these are my rules.
Well, I have tried to listen to those rules. Only because they are in my mind still, but it doesn’t work. How many times have you went to bed at the proper time and did nothing but lay there and toss and turn? In the morning you feel like you have been ran over by a truck. You feel like crap. What I have learned for me is, go to bed when I am tired, well as long as Al is in bed. If I lose or gain sleep time, my body will generally let me make it up the next evening.
3. Get up early The early bird gets the worm, the late riser gets nothing and shows how lazy he/she is.
I don’t get this at all. I never liked getting up early. Even now I don’t get up as early as Mom and Dad would have. Especially on the weekends. They were always early risers and I didn’t see any worm beds growing in our house.
4. You must put in a hard day’s work every day. You will be happier.
Well I am going to be brutally honest here. Mental work can be quite heavy also. Caring for Al, there are times I would like to lay down and rest before lunch time. Now that I am a little older naps are much more exciting to me then when I was told I had to take one every day; up until the day I started Kindergarten.
5. Don’t chew with your mouth open.
6. Don’t play across the street with those kids. We don’t know them.
Now here, I don’t agree totally. Yes, there are some warning signs that are obvious to the eye that I may not want to allow my kids to wander the neighborhood. But my Mom and Dad had different reasons and I won’t go into that, as it would be another whole post that I would not care to write about.
I believe that we are a nation under one ceiling. We have different colors, cultures, habits and religions. But God made each of us in his image. I have many friends who are not white like me. I love learning about culture, and I find people in general have at the very least, one fascinating thing about them. All we have to do is look. People in general are loving and want to be loved, just like you and me.
With the times changing it is a pity that now we have to be more careful about viewing the world for what it really is and not what we hope it is. There are more dangers now than when I was being taught by my parents. Let me give you a wide example.
When I was a kid, on Halloween night, paper bags, not plastic, flimsy sacks were used for products. I would take an empty one along with my brother and we would trick-or-treat the whole neighborhood. There was no watching for porch lights on. There were no razors in apples, or sticks of gum with poison in them. It was a fun and innocent night for kids and when we came home our bags were full of goodies. Many time I was eating while trick-or-treating. I didn’t have to wait until I got home and have my candy inspected by parents or x-ray machines.
7. Don’t speak back and never argue with your mate.
Now this one is probably my worst follower in my own life. My parents taught me children are to be seen and not heard. Children should be quiet and sit on chairs. It is no wonder when I was in elementary school I got bad marks on talking out loud. I was finally freed from silence.
I do not agree with not speaking up. It is what has made me so afraid today of voicing my opinions. It has made me sick at heart when I let people run all over me. Forcing their opinions on me when I have my own individual thoughts. I was not allowed to be creative. Thankfully, through writing I am healing on this issue.
I don’t believe in arguing either. I used to, don’t get me wrong. If I thought I was right, I was sticking to it no matter what. Now I have learned, it’s alright to voice my thoughts, and for my mate to say his. When each has spoken a decision to meet in the middle is agreed upon. Two adults conversing like two adults. I would never want a mate to bully me. Beating me, cussing at me, is not the way to treat another human. It is alright to agree to disagree.
So all in all I took what my parents taught me and used what felt right for me. I think they did a pretty good job. Thanks Mom and Dad. for caring enough to teach me.
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Early bird, or night owl?
My Mom told me one time when I was still living under my parents roof, that one day I would change. I would hate going to bed late and sleeping late.
I never did change but altered some due to age, worries and stress.
I was one who could sleep until noon no matter what time I went to bed when I was in my teens. When I reached my twenties I could not do it any longer. I had a children, but I missed it dearly. When the kiddies would spend the night at Grandma’s house, I slept in. Oh that was so nice.
In my thirties and forties I was going through difficult emotional times with marriages and I was a quick change artist. I could get up if I had to with no problem. But emotions ran high so some days I would seem to sleep forever.
Now in my late fifties, I have had the biggest change. My doctor blames it on being older and stress and worries. I am tired too often. Some days you will knock at my door in the middle of the afternoon and my eyes will be filled with little sleepies where I was napping.
At bedtime I am tired but can not sleep. I will stay up until around 2am watching King of Queens or the Golden Girls. I force myself to lie down and close my eyes, but they pop up often during the night.
When early morning comes and dawn is beginning to break my eyes are once again open and I am ready to get up. I often do this too. I will be up for a couple of hours and then I am ready to take a nap.
It is so silly and yet it seems to happen often. This has been going on pretty much since Al left. I think there are parts of me that not only worry about him but maybe more that I miss him.
When he comes home he and I will have to be up at 6am. He will need to be on the transportation bus by 7:30 and I believe it will take that long to get him around and include breakfast, but I don’t mind. I will adjust and I will have my brother back home with me.