Decisions are hard to make
When it is not at all about you
You want to do the best you can
In everything you do.
With Parkinson’s there is no day
That everything is the same
You set you mind to be alert
To watch for changing ways.
Yesterday was neither good nor bad for most of the day, until early evening approached. It was hot and humid as normal, and Al had taken a nap, and I seem to always be running on low energy, so I decided to take a nap also on the couch.
I heard a soft voice speaking, but somewhere in my sleeping mind, it didn’t sound familiar, until I heard it once again, a bit louder, and when I opened my eyes I saw no one standing over me, but as I looked more beyond me, I saw where the voice was coming from.
It was Al, and he had fallen against a cabinet. His side of his stomach had scraped the corner of the cabinet, and he ended up with a nice rosy scrape. I helped him up, which wasn’t easy, as he was sitting in a leap frog position, and I had no base with which to start the process of rising up. With much determination on mine and much encouragement to him, the two of us got him standing, leaning on his walker. I checked him over with a jeweler’s stone glass and saw nothing else, so helped him get to the couch.
I decided right then and there, I have had enough of going it alone. A shower girl is not enough, the lack of volunteering from others is never here, and I am just tired and pooped out.
It isn’t that Al is difficult at all to care for, it is the constant little things. You know what it like on pay day? You have to get the pay check, then go to the bank, next pay any bills that may need to be mailed out, get groceries, and on top of that do the normal routines of any other day. By the time you get home and you sit down, you are all pooped out.
This is how I feel each day of the week, except it is 24/7, with maybe a four hour break once a week. Don’t think I am not grateful for that four hours, because I am, but it is not enough.
I placed an ad in the newspaper today, requesting help for a companion/assistant for four hours Monday through Saturday. It will not be a hard job for anyone, unless they plan to come here and watch television.
I want this person to be at Al’s side for anything he needs help with or seems to be struggling with. Maybe it will also be added showers to the week. Maybe it will be cutting up Al’s meals, maybe this person will even have to help feed him, wash him up after a meal, maybe it will be spent just chatting with him the entire time plus a meal, I don’t know.
All I know is I need more help, and I am going to get it! So, I come to you, to gather us all in a circle, holding hearts and hands and pray the same prayer, that I can locate this person that will take part of their day out to share part of their day with us. If we join in union, there is more strength, and I believe I can make this happen.
I want to do what is best for him
I want to do what is best for me
I make not this decision out of idol time
I made this decision with us both in mind.
Please hear this prayer I cast up to you
Oh Lord, I am on bended knee
I need you God, oh can you see
That I need help for this family..
- Friday Morning Prayer (journeywithd.com)
- The Praying Man (tithebarn.wordpress.com)
- Talk to Jesus (agirlikeme.com)
- The Gift of Prayer (theworldneedsgod.wordpress.com)