My Own Death Becomes Me

I admit that I think about death and the there after too much. It is hard not to when I am constantly surrounded by people who deal with it. When I am told that Al is really sick. There will come a time when death will be the last thing I think of. Instead I will be thinking, beach, cabins, love and sunshine.

So thus stating this; you will understand my next sentences. I was laying in bed last night. My body ached, so I lie on my back. Suddenly my mind saw a casket. It was my casket. I was imagining what my own funeral would be like.

How would I look to others?

Would there be make-up plastered on my face so I was unrecognizable. What would I be wearing? What clothes would my children pick out for me?

I imagined how comfortable I would be stretched out in my tight-fitting box. Do you think the casket companies can make these in an extra-wide, like they do in shoe sizes? I have a few layers of fat that roll to the side when I lay on my back.

I even noticed that my once perky boobs were now fallen to the side; although my stomach did look flatter.

I practiced positioning myself in my bed as I would be sewn together to stay in place in my casket. I placed my hands over my stomach and closed my eyes. Head facing the ceiling I lay there for only a few moments when I started getting a headache.

I realized than that I can not be buried like the conventional person. I must have changes made for my own personal comfort. When I pictured how it should be I saw a whole different scene play out.

First of all, let’s kick off that granny, print dress. Let’s change that formal look to one I am more comfortable in. Let’s throw on some shorts and Tees. Let’s get rid of that hair spray and stiff hair that smells of old age and throw in some casual soft curls.

Get that thick make-up off of me and just let me be myself, natural. I like a look that you will have no doubt in who I am.

Now take me off my back. After all I don’t want to have to order that extra wide coffin.

And the headaches have got to go. Lay me on my side. Let me prop my head on my arm which is tucked under my pillow.

Get rid of that tiny satin pillow and give me the one I have slept with for so long. After all, this is going to be a long nap I am taking.

Now I want my bible tucked towards the side of my arm. I like to rest my hand on it as I fall asleep.

Make sure you put a couple of cartons of smokes and a few lighters beside me. Just sort of hide them. There may be non-smokers at my funeral and I don’t want to gross them out. I know, they are bad for me, but I have some bad habits, don’t you?

Next, but not last, is the flowers. Make sure I am surrounded by beautiful flowers. No roses please. I am terribly allergic to roses. If I start sneezing and I rise and look around and see those flowers, I will know I have an enemy somewhere in here.

Instead just bring some pretty plants and some Lilys. I love Lily flowers.

Let’s not have any of that sad organ music. Instead let’s have some of my old-time favorites. My favorite group to listen to when I was a teen was The Carpenters.

Let’s not cry please. I won’t be providing any tissues. Instead let’s have a party and celebrate my life.

Everyone dance, eat and drink ice-tea or coffee.

Let us all rejoice that today is the birthday of my new day in heaven.

I hope that you will all attend, yes you, all of my friends.

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