I Learned Two Things Today

I learned two things  this morning. They  could change my life if I follow the rules. My life could be less stressful if I only chew on a pencil.

All this time I thought I had to take a nap. Or take deep breaths. Maybe take a vacation to Disney World.

I never knew that all I had to do was take one of my stale pencils from my desk and start chewing and biting on it.

Sort of reminds me of school when I was struggling to find an answer. Or when I was nervous I would bite a pencil during testing times.

Of course I would have to give up my blogging. To have the pencil in use I would have to put down my black keyboard. Then on top of that I may become regressed. Because of my Diabetes I have nerve damage in my fingers.

I do a lot of tracking and writing for my  job and Al’s Day Program. My fingers always end up numb and sore from writing in black ink only.

I don’t know, I may have to go back to the way I was doing it prior to this new information. Blogging helps heal me. Each word speaks to me and helps me sort things out. Napping is something I enjoy. It takes every clogged thought and tosses it until I wake up.

Also I am getting older and my teeth are not as strong before. Could biting on wood cause me to rot my old teeth? Would I end up having to have dentures?

The other thing I learned is in order to release stress, smile more and live a happier life, I should have more sex.

What in the world is sex? I have been divorced for six years and although there have been a couple of guys pass by I have not had anything serious to brag  about. I think if what I have heard in the past with sly jokes is that I probably have spiders living among me.

So now I discover that until I have sex again I may not smile.

Should I go out and stand on the street corner in order to smile again?

Could I tell the arresting officer that I learned to smile and live a happier life by watching a TV program? Would this keep me out of jail?

Well I guess I am out of choices pretty much. I think I will just stick to who I am and be happy with myself.

I will smile because I have been given one more day to do what’s right. I will be thankful for what I have. I will keep waiting and stressing for that special man to appear before my eyes and say, ” Lordy woman, where have you been all my life?”