The Box


A dear friend of mine here in WordPress has a son who wanted to share some of his very own collection with my brother, Al. Nothing brings a smile to my brother quicker than coca-cola.

I was informed that this package was going to be mailed out, and I was so excited for Al to receive it, and it was very hard for me to keep my big mouth shut, and not give it away, that he was going to receive a box in the mail for his very own.

Today it arrived. It had been a bad day, as we are starting to have problems with yet a new situation. I won’t go into details, because I don’t want anyone to get squeamish or end up having to run to their bathroom, but it does have to deal with bathroom duties, so we are now trying to figure out better ways to make life easier for him and for me.

So after supper is over, and he is sitting in the living room on the couch, he tunes in on THE BOX. I am noticing but saying nothing, giggling inside, as I can see his brain ticking, wondering who’s it is.

I am the worst at holding back smiles for others, so I had to say, IT’S FOR YOU! I never saw it coming. He started crying. I asked him why the tears bud? He says he is scared to open it because it could be bad, as it wasn’t his birthday. I said, I think people can be nice and do things for you without reason. I explained how I have come to know this very nice lady, and her son wanted you to have something to add to your collection. He still cried. I placed the box over by me, and told him when he was ready, he could open it.

I waited about ten minutes then looked around to him, and he was lying down to watch TV. I must admit, I don’t understand the brain, nor do I understand the intimate details of this wicked Parkinson’s, but he just didn’t get the connection of any of it.

This past week or two, Al has shown much confusion in comprehension. I understand this is a big part of the Parkinson’s. He stares instead of speaking, and when he looks at me, I can see by the blank eyes, there is no one there for a few minutes.

I couldn’t take it. I cursed the disease, and plastered a smile on my face, grabbed a knife, and cut all the tape so he could open it easily. I placed the box in front of him, and said please open it bud, you are going to love it!

It took him forty-five minutes to take the items out of the box, not because he didn’t want to, but I could actually see the slow-timing in his body. The arm reaches for the paper packaging, used to protect the items, and he grabs one by one, with his hand. He lays the empty bag beside him on the couch. I counted by seconds, and it took his hand twenty seconds to release the paper from  his fingers. My heart broke, as I knew he was trying so hard to keep moving, but the brain was not co-operating.

There is one thing my brother knows, and that is each piece of his collection. He knows when he got it, where he got it, how much he paid for it, and how many he has. As he was taking the goodies out of the box, I would ask him if he liked it, or had one like it or anything generally I could think of in order to get some look of excitement from him. To my despair, he told me he didn’t know if he had this collection piece or not. There were no smiles ever from this, but I do know that he liked it by his signals at the end. He took each piece and went to his room, and I can bet right now he is in there comparing them to his pieces, looking at every detail, and using his book to look at the originals.

Thank goodness he did this. If he would have let the gifts set, I would have known he truly wasn’t here with me tonight. I probably won’t see him again until snack time. This will keep him pretty busy, and help him to not think upon himself.

I want to thank-you dear friend for allowing Al to have an evening to enjoy himself. He may not have actually shown it like we do with awes and wow’s and smiles, but I know that he at least still has the ability to feel from within, and connect in his own ways to his coca cola.

28 thoughts on “The Box

  1. Sometimes it’s hard to know what to say. But just think, as you said he didn’t throw it away or react as one would like, he just accepted it and took it with him to his room thus making it his own. I can only support you in prayer for strength, endurance, patience and continued love.

    BE ENCOURAGED! BE BLESSED!

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  2. What a fantastic present for him and terry you are a brave brave woman. Your generosity of spirit in caring for your brother is extraordinary. Even when it is so damn hard. And it is no wonder that you attract lovely people who send presents. take care of yourself too, as well as you take care of Al.. celi

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    • i believe although he showed no emotion, he did like his gifts, as he took each one with pride and took them to his room. thank u for a lovely comment my friend. it warms my heart to have beautiful friends such as yourself

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    • i am sure Al loved it, you had to read the actions in order to see that he did. when he carefully picked them up as if they were glass and took them to his room, i knew all was well within his heart

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      • It’s hard isn’t it when you want the person to get some joy and they don’t react joyfully. I bought Anthony a huge clock for his room in the nursing home and he immediately noticed it didn’t have one of those second hands – argh!

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      • sounds just like Al. always the negativity comes from the mouth, i get so sick of negativity i could puke, but from what i am learning, depression is a huge issue with Parkinson’s, and now we are having constipation issues for the past few days, another side effect. dang, does it ever end???:)

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  3. Al is ‘childlike’ in that when a child receives a birthday or Christmas present they at first are not sure what it is or what they will do with it…but like you said…in the end…he ‘got’ it. Of course it was very nerve-racking for you until he did… How nice of your friend to send it to him….Diane

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    • yes he is very child like, and i see dementia coming into play. he was actually afraid? of opening it up as he knew it wasn’t a holiday or birthday, so thinking it was bad

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  4. What a wonderful gesture from your friend … to Al. This post made my heart melt – so sorry that you still have your rough and heavy days. You’re so remarkable, Terry .. and how thoughtful of your friend to provide a fantastic day for Al.

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    • i was happy for Al, in fact later in the evening, he brought out one of the pieces, and he held it in his hands the entire night, and was still talking about it this morning……..lol. this friend who sent him his box, helped him to not think of himself for one evening, and this was so worth it to me

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  5. The world may seem to be going to hell in a handbasket, but it is wonderful to know there are still nice, caring people in the world. I know when I next use my few Coca-Cola ornaments that I will think of Al.
    Barb

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