Brother and Sister

It’s been a long day. A day shared with Al who is fighting pain and unusual sightings. I took him out yesterday. I took him to eat and to buy a car. We weren’t gone over two hours total.

After we got back home Al started complaining of leg pain. This has continued throughout the evening and most of today. I feel some guilt. Maybe we should not have gone, but then again, maybe he would have had this pain anyways.

Seeing his knee turning purple and then back to normal decided to have a partner. So it went to the knuckles and they have now been turning crimson and back to normal. The Hospice nurse says it is a lack of oxygen not getting to every part of his body.

The shower girl said today that he transferred just fine. I wonder critically how she would have noticed. She came here fifteen minutes late and undressed him showered him, dressed him and was gone in exactly seventeen minutes.

I take offense. Maybe because there have been other shower gals who have spent a few moments on the clock getting to know Al. Asking about tears, getting his mind of himself, but not this gal. In 17 minutes, I am not sure I could even pull it off with a complete job and be really clean.

But for Al today he has spent more time in bed than in his recliner. He slept more than not. He had an Ensure ice-cream shake instead of lunch. He needed assistance brushing his teeth both times today. He needed one over one help with eating his supper.

Should I continue to get him out when the weather is beautiful? Or should I pass it by knowing I could tire him out and perhaps be the culprit of his pains. I just want him to enjoy whatever he can in life.

I try my best

My little friend

To cause those smiles

To go on end.

I always have

Your best interest at heart

I squeeze activities in

Before you depart.

If I am the one causing

You more pain

Please give me a signal

And I won’t ask again.

Love you brother

You are my blood

I will miss you terribly

When God’s work is done.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd

08/11/2013Brother Sister Love

26 thoughts on “Brother and Sister

  1. Take him out every time you can!! There will come a time when you won’t. I’d rather see outside, be in the sun, feel the wind in my hair and face …. than be inside!! There will be a time when he won’t be able to go out anymore!!
    Hugs!!! 🙂 …… be strong! Both you and him!!!


  2. Ditto on what Dr. Rex said — I agree wholeheartedly. Time is fleeting for us all and none of us is promised tomorrow, so helping Al get some enjoyment today may benefit both him and you. You’re such a good sister, Terry — bless you and Al tonight and this week!


  3. ALos I would take him out while it is still possible. Like that he can still enjoy more than being at home. And who says he won’t be in pain just being at home. Use the good weather and enjoy and do things with Al. Wishing you and Al a good week ahead! Much love!


    • I will continue. I talked to Hospice this morning about his constant pain from going out. She said his body is tired and he weakens very quickly but as long as he wants to go, go for it


  4. For as long as you can, let his eyes see the beauty of the world and feel the love of a heart that truly cares. Your short adventures may tire him a little, but the memories of these experiences with benefit both Al and you a great deal.


    • I am hoping so. Hospice told me today that his body is just so tired. His heart is weak and he will have the pain afterwards. But, as long as he is willing to go out, go for it!


  5. Terry, not that I am taking sides with the “bath lady,” but she may be the type of person who fears becoming attached emotionally to her clients, and if this is the case, she will simply do her job and run… as cold as that seems to you, it happens. I’ve been on that side of the line a few times myself, while visiting those who were in nursing homes and such. I absolutely loved going to see these people, and taking some of the residents out to lunches and little adventures a few days a week, but it took an emotional tole on me when they started passing on. And when they started fighting among themselves because of the order of which I would take them out, well, for me, this was heartbreaking it see.I felt abandoned far too soon from all the love they so freely gave and the beautiful reminiscing I got to be a part of, not to mention the joy that came from seeing these ladies have the time of their life out and about in society with me. In fact, we had such a great time that there were two 90 year old twin sisters who often drove out here from Cincinnati, alone, just to hang out with me and a friend of theirs that I would take from assistant living to show her a good time around town and sometimes even further out. Believe me, these people had lots to talk about when they returned and slept very well. But, if you don’t think this is the case with your bath person, I’d ask…straight up, whats the rush?


    • I can see from your side that you have a valid point. Many patients have died in front of my eyes. I always got attached to all my patients. I will try to be a little better in understanding. There is another issue but it is on the side of the company she works for, billing, I guess and hours work, but that is not part for me to stress over. That is between her and her company. Thanks for showing me another angle


      • I really try. When I’m not on here for a couple of days, I am reading what you write on my iPhone but I hate using its keyboard to reply. If you don’t hear from me for a couple of days, it’s just that I’m not on my computer. You always make me think. I am always reading your posts to Kelly, and he enjoys them to. I will always be here for you, girl. Sandy


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