Half of Me Stood Still While The Other Half Went Off


English: Certified HIPAA Privacy Expert

English: By Richard Wheeler (Zephyris) 2007.

I just got off the phone with Al‘s facility. I talked to the nurse. Al has been on my mind more than usual and I just felt something was wrong. Of course they never made the attempt to call me and tell me he wasn’t acting himself. He refused to go out of his room. He refused all activities. The only thing he did was going to meals.

She just happened to be the nurse that called Social Services when she had already went through Al’s room. So she and The S.S. went through Al’s room again. She told me he was embarrassed by talking so rudely to staff yesterday.

I stopped her in mid-air and said,”No the reason he is quiet is because he feels threatened once again. You were in his room searching and then you brought someone else in to search again.”

She said,”We needed to find the money.”

“No, you needed to call me first. If you would have made me the priority you would not have had to search because I did it for Al. The money is gone. I knew it, Al knew it.”

“He had several codes he was breaking.”

“Such as?”

“He had weapons. He had a pair of nail clippers. He had small screwdrivers in a coke can.  He had candy on the floor.”

“The screwdrivers were to  use to take backs off and I will take these home tomorrow when I come. The candy is not on the floor, the basket is. If he has to keep the candy on the bed, then he has to get up from the recliner each time he wants a  piece. The nail clippers..”

“We already took those a way from him. If he wants to use them he will need to ask us.”

“Oh, so he can use them with supervision, is that what you are saying?”

“No, he is a diabetic. He needs his nails trimmed professionally.”

“I see, so you are going to keep them and he can use them if he asks for them but then you won’t let him have them because they need to be done professionally. Why wasn’t I called first?”

“We wanted to see if we could find the money first.”

“Bad reason. From now on there will be no searching unless I am present. Period. You say he is quiet. Yes I imagine he is. The only things in life that matter to him are his cars and coca cola. Every time I turn around you are sending something home with me that is his. Of course he is wondering what you are going to take a  way from him next. He isn’t like you and me. He doesn’t have a spouse or kids. He has no job. He can barely walk. He is here instead of having freedom like you and me. All he has is his collections. Your facility has made it very clear that if anything comes up missing you will not replace it, so why do you give a hoot if a car or money or anything comes up gone? Let him have his loved items. If it comes up gone then it is his loss but he enjoyed it up until the missing time.”

“Oh, I see you don’t care if his stuff is stolen.”

“Yes I care but I care more about Al’s feelings and attitude. He is very sick. I am tending to think more about keeping him calm and as content as possible. Those cars and coke things can be replaced. He can not.”

“Oh”

That was our conversation. She ended it with, “I will call the S.S. lady and tell her what you said.”

I wished her a good day and said good-bye.

Advertisements

42 thoughts on “Half of Me Stood Still While The Other Half Went Off

  1. Weapons? A nail clipper is a weapon? Is that woman a former TSA agent? I wonder if they aren’t making a target out of him … I would probably do like one other reader suggested and get a copy of the patient’s rights and find out where it talks about his right to privacy and what exactly weapons are. At this point its come to light they don’t care and al is better off with you. If there is anyway to get him out please do. It angers me that a place that’s supposed to give care and look after people clearly doesn’t. *hugs* I am so sorry.

    Like

      • Sorry about the duplicate post. *hugs* I do agree about some of the other comments if they are treating him this way who knows what else is going on. Since you notify them before visiting.. would it be wrong not to notify them and see what he looks like before they prep him? Just wondering what kind of care he is really getting in that place.

        Like

      • I do make surprise visits. This is when I generally see nasty stuff under his nails. dirty pillow cases, dirty urine stained bed pads etc

        Like

  2. Weapons? A nail clipper is a weapon? Is that woman a former TSA agent? I wonder if they aren’t making a target out of him … I would probably do like one other reader suggested and get a copy of the patient’s rights and find out where it talks about his right to privacy and what exactly weapons are. At this point its come to light they don’t care and al is better off with you. If there is anyway to get him out please do. It angers me that a place that’s supposed to give care and look after people clearly doesn’t. *hugs* I am so sorry.

    Like

  3. What the Heck???? they really cannot be that stupid!! Terry I believe they are setting Al up for removal to a different facilty or type of care. It is time for you to do as said get the patient rights booklet and I know you can’t afford an attorney but there has to be a Legal Aid office or an ACLU office that would protect those rights close. I will see if I can find something that might help. Grrr I am so angry for you and most of all for AL.

    Like

  4. I don’t believe this place..they are concerned that their reputation is in question because of $5 ? If you haven’t asked for an investigation than they or SS shouldn’t care…. For heaven’s sake he is like a child …why can they not comprehend that. If someone was to come into a ‘child’s’ room and start messing around and searching it would frighten that child and make him think he had done something wrong…. try to help these ‘experts’ realize that !!! Take care of yourself too Terry…Diane

    Like

    • I just want this to all end Mona. I have had enough. If I take him home before the waiver is approved, he loses all chances at getting to go to the Adult Day Program. I am trying very hard to hang in there and not bop them in the nose

      Like

  5. This story makes me sad. My mom is being cared for by people who seem to like her, but who really knows what’s going on? Thanks for posting. I’m calling my mom right now!

    Like

  6. This may not be appropriate under the circumstances, but I’m going to say it anyway: Good for you, girl!!!! Hang in there and be strong — you’re doing all of this for a very precious person. And the fact that they call nail clippers a weapon and try to lay a guilt trip on you by accusing you of not caring if Al’s money gets stolen just shows where their priorities are and what lengths they will go to in order to adhere to their gestapo attitudes. You are a kind, giving person, and I really admire your strength and devotion to Al. Hugs and prayers to you!

    Like

  7. Good for you Terry. You stood up for Al, and I know you don’t like confrontations. Not only did you stand up for him, but you spoke the truth strongly. I’m assuming that you’ve been keeping a written record of all of this… certainly, what you have been blogging would count, and I’m thinking that it may be time to contact your state’s ombudsman, and also notify the State Long Term Care and inform them of the problems that you have listed throughout the last few months. They need to be audited by someone other than themselves, because if they are treating Al this way, they are likely treating other residents that way as well, and those residents may not have a Terry to defend them like Al does.

    You keep up the good work, documenting, and standing up for Al’s rights, and I will continue to pray for you and Al.

    Much love,
    Cheryl

    Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s