My fangs are out
They are ready to bite
I won’t give up
Without a fight
I get so tired
Of you not caring at all
I hope for your sake
You never fall
Into the situation
I am in
Then you will
See the sin you’re in
My belief is when you
Care not at all
You too shall one
Day also fall
To your knees
Finding my face
Sending out apologies
To all you’ve erased.
- Are you among the 1 per cent? (jadenagaraja.com)
- My Journey (razeclan2.wordpress.com)
- New Possibilities (motloungmaditjhaba.wordpress.com)
- Too many apologies (memoirsofabeautifuldreamer.wordpress.com)
- Falling apart (youloveyouhate.wordpress.com)
- Hey YOU, Put That Down. You Don’t Own THAT! (findingsimplicitywithin.com)
http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Post, Daily Prompt
Tell us about a book you can read again and again without getting bored — what is it that speaks to you?
I don’t read books over and over. I used to collect DVD’s and then once I saw them, they sat on a shelf collecting dust. I will look for the author’s books if I enjoy a book.
I go through spurts. I will read for several days and then go for weeks without reading again. I spend most of my time googling information I want. I will google Parkinson’s and anything that I have a need to find. I always search information about medications that doctors want to put Al or me on.
I talk to people. A lot of the times people have better advice and answers than any book. I guess I am boring to some. My mind is filled with so much that rereading a book just isn’t on the list anymore.
Now I may have to google cheap or free help for legal advice. It is always something. Actually I should google how to have problems and issues stay a way for a few days at a time so I can have more fun in my days.
I feel so trapped. I want Al to come home for so many reasons. Most of you know why it is better for him to be here.
When Al went to the nursing home he had money of his own. This was by law made to pay his room and board while he was in there. When he ran out of money, then the facility applied for Medicaid on his behalf.
I had not worked with this part of Medicare and was being led by shadows trying to understand. There were many papers that had to be filed. Bank papers had to be submitted. Medical papers had to be proven.
At this one particular bank I had opened it myself. It was a credit union and in order to have a checking account, you first had to open a savings account so the two accounts could link. The money used was mine but the account had to be put in my name and Al’s name since he was going to have a checking account. No savings account, no checking account was the way it worked.
When all the paper work had been turned in Medicaid noticed that I had not turned in the savings account. I didn’t deliberately keep it from them. I just had always considered it my money used to open his account. That money was never touched and it had the minimum in it to keep it alive.
Back in February I got the notice and was forced to turn that account over although I explained it was just my savings to link to his account. It didn’t matter to anyone what I said. Al’s name was on it and that’s what counted.
Now today I find out that he is no longer liable for his stay there but the January bill which the facility thought would be covered my Medicaid was not, because of that savings account, it was now over limitations to qualify by $8.00. For an $8.00 over limit he is now responsible for almost $7,000.00
Now we are responsible for $6800.00 that was charged for January. The facility is blaming me. She told me on the phone that although Al is no longer responsible, I am supposed to still continue to give them the money that I have been giving them monthly.
The facility was getting paid by Medicare and also keeping the money that I was paying too. These past three months I thought the money I was giving them was paying off that big debt, but they were using it, or keeping it until the letter came stating he is now no longer responsible. She told me Medicare demanded that Al still pay the amount until the approval came through. They could have been placing that monthly check on his debt, but they didn’t. This was their choice too. Yes, he had to still pay but they decided what to do with it. That bill would have almost been half paid off and now it is still a full debt.
So now Al is actually entitled to keep his money but has to pay back January. But, when he comes home he will need things here that he would have received there, and this facility still wants that money.
So now I am not working so I can care for Al. He will come home with needs that I won’t be able to use his funds for and I just don’t know what to do. As long as he stays in the nursing home, the debt is being paid off. When he comes home they still want the money.
I usually don’t discuss bills on my blogs but I am sick at heart. Do I leave Al there not cared for properly in order to pay the bill? He wants to come home so bad and I don’t want him to die there, so I want him to come home too.
I wish I knew how to raise that kind of money for him. Although I am not responsible for his debts I can not afford this either. I would have to leave him there about seven months in order to pay it off. I feel terrible because I am bringing a dollar bill over Al’s life.
All I can think of is I can’t afford all his needs when he comes home without me having to go out to work to make money since they are demanding the money even after he is here at home. So then why have him come home if I can’t care for him. Oh I wish I could zap up the money somehow.
I keep going back to the beginning when they demanded all of Al’s money until he was broke. They know without a doubt he has no money. I was going to continue to pay his funeral bill until he came home and then let his monthly check pay for it. Now I am in fear of him even losing that big amount that we have paid his prepaid funeral. I already tried checking into cancelling the bill but he would not even get one tenth back.
What am I going to do? How could I ever tell Al he can’t come home? How am I going to pay off this huge debt if he comes home? I am sick at heart.