I Am Bitching

The only reason I am posting right now when I have a ton of things to do is so I can go see the Hospice nurse with a smile instead of a bitchy mouth.

Yesterday was just too awesome. Al was calm, no tears, not too many tremors. Why would I want to break the record?

Friday I needed medications from Hospice. I used to call the Triage nurse when I needed something, then Al’s Hospice nurse told me that I was getting her into trouble. I was to let her know personally when I needed meds. She even gave me her cell number which is a no-no with their staff. I guess it could cause an over-load of maybe non-emergency phone calls, and I get that.

So I called her last Friday morning. By late afternoon she hadn’t returned my call so I called the main office. I didn’t state why I needed to talk to the nurse because I didn’t want her to get in trouble. I also knew that at 5pm, the nurses do not answer their work phones. When that time of hour comes they are off the clock and on call nurses take over.

The office told me they would get a hold of her and have her call. I never got a call, not any part of the weekend. Now I am out of two very important medications. This is going to cause me grief and unneeded stress.

The office will call in an emergency supply at our local drug store here and then I will have to get out to get it, and it will be tomorrow when Al is not at Day Program so I am going to have to load him up in the car.

So this morning comes around. The shower girl calls and says she will be here at 9:30. At 10:05 when she is not here I call the office. The office says she will call the girl. I also mention that I have not heard from Al’s nurse. I also stated that I had left her a message along with the office leaving a message. I told her I usually hear from her by this time of morning. I was wondering if she knew Al was home. The office said she would call her.

Low and behold within five minutes the shower girl showed up at the door. Al was in tears. He was afraid he wasn’t going to get his shower. The girl had a trainee with her and they were laughing, but I was not.

I hate to see Al crying needlessly. It stresses me out. He has to get on the bus for day program at a specific time. The girl made a comment that she had car trouble and I said you could have called.

For me I have to make quick decisions. Although I am thrilled Al is home it doesn’t take much at all for my stress to return. Taking care of Al isn’t an easy job, especially alone. I  have to decide, is anyone actually coming? Do I need to  hurry and give him a shower myself? Should I call the bus company and cancel? Should I take him in myself after they arrive?

So I guess I was edgy. While  they are laughing I am almost in tears like Al. Then the nurse calls with a bright Good Morning. She ask me how I am and I say alright. I tell her I am stressed right now but I will calm down.

She ask why am I so stressed this time of day and I explain the shower deal. She proceeds to explain that they give a time frame but they can’t always be on the dot. Maybe they run into crisis with a patient before Al.

I said I totally understood and explained how it puts me in a situation of feeling like I don’t know which way to go and I explained the process of the bus situation and all that I said above.

She became silent and then I decided to talk to her in person about the phone call I didn’t receive last Friday. I am patient, I understand that Al is not their only patient. But we are talking about pain medications that can not be stopped abruptly. We are talking about how I am now going to have to load Al up in the car to go to the drug store to get just one to tide us over.

All Al’s medications paid by Hospice come via UPS or Fed Ex. So now I have said it all. I feel better. I can go in and smile, but I wish I could get these people to understand the caregiver and patients side also. Life doesn’t always flow around the staff.