How can one person pack up a house for two months, little by little and still be packing today? Well, I don’t really know, but I do know I am that one person. I think I am worn down.
When I took care of my father I did a great job. I handled a 60 hour week and was also at my dad’s beck and call. With my brother I kept up with the constant changes; but I will tell you this, the last four months of his life did me in.
I have never seemed to bounce back with energy. I am tired all the time. I don’t sleep well at nights any longer since Al is gone. I know this is one big problem. I need regulated sleep. I have to stay at my daughter’s home for a few days when I move and I bet I sleep like a baby at nights, because there will be someone else in the house besides myself.
I wake up before it is dawn. I try to stay awake all day but I can’t, I am too pooped. I have to take a nap. It doesn’t help either that my stability is slipping just a little. I feel like I am walking sideways, but no one notices much but me and my doctor. I already don’t like this Parkinson’s Disease. I don’t have time for it, to be honest.
My feet burn 24/7 but feel like fire when I am on them too long. I guess this is another reason I am still packing things up. I like my inner self much better than the body self. It sucks getting older and being Diabetic along with Parkinson’s Disease.
Who should I blame? No one really. Out of love I cared for my dad and brother. I wouldn’t change a thing if I could go back. I got wore out. I set myself up for medical problems to come sooner than later.
Of course I am taking a 100th break again by writing to all of you because my feet burn so bad. I have my bedroom completely done and am starting to pack the overnight bag for my daughter’s home.
I have the bathroom cleaned out except the toilet paper, toothbrush and toothpaste. You can see what is important to me in the bathroom area, right? I have 99% of my kitchen cupboards all emptied.
Al’s room is boxes galore. The other bathroom has my hair junk and hairdryer. So now I am looking around at my living room and I think, I wish I was at a nice country setting with a beautiful pond, laying on a soft blanket, staring out at nature.
Well, break is over. I am sure I will be back to the computer within an hour. Talk to you later.