40 Freaking Years?

In the top picture of course I am the little girl at five years old when my dad and step-mother got married. My mom told me years later, that each gift they opened, I sat in my chair and kept saying let me see it, let me see it!

In the choir photo I am in the third row up, second from the left, in grade nine. Look at that flip on my hair ends. This was produced from rolling on huge rollers then sleeping on them each night. I would never attempt this today, I want to feel that fluffy pillow calling my name.

The bottom photo is me today. I don’t know what to think about it. I have produced three great children, worked in burger joints, worked for the telephone company as a phone operator, worked in retail stores and grocery stores at seasonal times, and worked as a mommy also. I owned my own antique business for several years, refinishing antique furniture. I have been a professional caregiver for over 20 years, caring for strangers and family. Today, I still care for family and also write.

Tomorrow evening I am going to my 40th class reunion. I have never attended any before so this is my first. I am really being shy, knowing I have gained weight, am a divorced woman, and do not have a so-called career. What am I going to talk about? Do I have anything to say besides caring for Al? Will anyone find my life interesting enough to hang around and chat for a while? Will they look at my name tag and stand back in shock because I am not the smaller version of me with no tum-tum?

I am really nervous, but I have to go. I may not be around for the next one, and I really do want to see old friends, and besides, I have a caregiver expected to be here so I can have time for myself. Now let’s kick my butt and head me towards that door!

Free Write Friday, August 10,2012


Thank you Kellie for giving me a chance to explore my mind with this exercise prompt.


Stars twinkling, racing from above ore across the skies. Taking dreams of my tomorrows with them. Lights bouncing from tree to tree, allowing my mind to jump to where I can not see.

Mystical thoughts enter my mind as I ponder on what tomorrow may hold.

Thoughts of your arms around me, kissing me gently on the lips is what I for see for you and me.

A walk under the moonlight, two lovers holding hands, walking step by step into never ever land. Stopping under the old oak tree to still a kiss, which is only seen by the sounds of the nights.

A dream of love never escapes my mind, and I know if I dream long enough, it will certainly come true, for all fairy tales have happy endings, and so mine will also.

I wish for strong hands, and broad shoulders to cover me in love, protecting me from all the dangers  in this cruel world. I wish for a head to lean mine next to. A lap to sit upon and whisper sweet nothings in to your ear.

As you place the soft blanket under the mysterious trees, and you gently take my hands and help me down to the softness of the grass, you raise my head up, placing your lips next to mine, devouring my love that I so freely give to you.  The branches from the trees reach out like arms and hide us from the view of all others, protecting our moment that is to be shared only by the two of us, and swaying in the winds, leaves gently fall around us, mixing in with our droplets of love.

You tell me you love me, and you will never want another, and I believe each word escaped from your lips. Tears fall from my very own eyes, and the misty eyes drink  in your sight as you caress each place I glide your hands to.

To be in love is what I whisper to the stars, to be safe with you is a hunger that is always needing to be nourished. I long for this, and so I come here tonight, to tell the gods of my yearning, and I can see your silhouette carved in the knots on the trees.

I walk back to where my journey started and I leave my secrets sheltered among the forest, and I planted a dream, which will grow like wild flowers, and one day soon will sprout buds that with love and  nurturing, will soon be nothing but a dream