How Much Louder Should I Scream


A Renault Kangoo that is able to carry a wheel...

The facts are simple. I know more at times than staff. I have 23 years of care giving experience. I have schooling for Pharmacy Technician. Experience in working in the pharmacy. CNA training plus five years of Hospice work experience. I can give shots. I can use an aspirator. I can take all vitals. I can give temperatures orally and rectal.

I can bathe you in a tub or in your bed. I can wash your hair and never get your clothes wet if you are laying on a bed. I can do a complete bed change without you ever having to rise off the bed. I can help you transfer to the commode or I can get your butt all nice and clean from a dirty brief.

I can soothe your soul by brushing your hair. Promising you I won’t leave you alone. I can sing your favorite songs while you are going home to be with the Lord. I can wipe your brow and wipe your tears. I will hold you while you look into the bright light.

I will fix your meal and if need be I will gently spoon feed you. If you are on a Tube Feeder, I will make sure it is clean, refilled and flushed. I can push you in a wheel chair or hold onto you while you use your independence walking with your walker.

For all of this experience and love and comfort I bring to you, I am not a nurse nor a doctor.

I called into the facility a few minutes ago to let them know I would be picking up Al tomorrow at 1pm after his lunch. I explained I will not be bringing him back until after the supper hour.

I have cleaned and scrubbed and  have the house as germ free as possible for your arrival tomorrow my brother. I have filled an Easter Basket full of your favorite goodies. I am now tired and the thought of picking up that forty pound wheel chair tomorrow makes me more tired.

When I asked how Al was doing they said alright. She told me, “We are going in twice every 8 hours to check on him. We ask if he is in pain, and we tell him to put his light on if he needs us.”

One of my blogger friends suggested I ask for a transport chair to bring him home and take him back, so I thought I would ask while I have her on the phone. She asked,” What’s that?”

The reason I gave you all of my experience is to  not brag or boast. I don’t do that. I wanted to prove a point that not always do you need a license in your hand to know two things. Number one is, What is a transport chair? With your license behind you do you really not know what that is? Number 2, how many times have I said over and over that Al doesn’t use a call light? Not because he refuses, but because he has already forgotten what I taught him two days ago.

If and when Al gets to come home I am going to ask Medicare to help us to get a Transport Chair. It will be much easier for me to transport him and not take up so much room in the car. Believe me, if I could afford it, we would have a SUV or something like it as the regular wheelchair barely squeezes in the trunk even with the seats laying down.

29 thoughts on “How Much Louder Should I Scream

  1. They have to be hiring the ones that barely passed their boards… the incompetence cannot be explained any other way. BTW make someone from that facility earn their pay by helping you put the chair in the trunk and take it out when you get back, that way it will be less times you have to do it alone. You nor Al can afford for you to get hurt pulling a muscle or something lifting that thing in and out. I pick up a lady for church that sometiomes has to use her chair instead of walker and it nearly does me in when I pick it up and I have an SUV so I don’t have to push and pull to much I can’timagine what you are going thru. Love and prayers You and all have a Blesed Easter together!!

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  2. Wishing you a happy Easter Terry. May it be good and you don’t have to bang your head against the wall again, it is so hard what you tell us. You are such an amazing woman and sister!

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  3. GRRRRRR…. That’s me squeezing the life out of that nurse!! As you can tell I’m not NEAR the Christian I should be. I try real hard but dumb a….es like that nurse keep causing me to backslide!! Lord please make me a better Christian….and if that’s not possible then can you make somebody post my bail?

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    • Could you believe she didn’t know???? and that she told Al to use his call light if he has any pain. I swear and don’t feel bad about not being near the Christian you should be. I am not either. I am known to swear when I am so frustrated. We all have a long ways to go. you are reacting to something that is natural. You are not trying to cause problems. You are helping me to realize and appreciate that I am not alone. I have a wonderful friend, you, in my life

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  4. Well I’m a little rough around the edges. Hey. Where is Als call light located? If it is on the wall he may not be physically able to use it. The rigidity that comes with PD is tremendous. Daddy couldn’t raise his arms above his shoulders. Just thinkin’….

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  5. I’m focusing on the 1st part of your post and you aren’t bragging. I have a new word for you, as nothing comes in English–you are a mensch, which is like a good and honorable person in Yiddish. This is a word that is not used lightly and I am saying this about you for your selflessness and caring way. You probably have never heard that word or even heard Yiddish spoken, which is a dead language now, but that’s all I can think of after you described yourself so beautifully here.

    I just wanted to add that I so enjoy you and your blog. I’ll put it here for lack of knowing where else to comment. I see you as a real diplomat–a job you probably could have had flying to far off countries and making sure everyone got along! I keep wondering (in all honesty) what I’m doing here, as I don’t quite fit in, but it’s you, Terry, that keeps me coming back.

    Not to distract from your post, but I had a bad experience on WP recently and it was nothing I caused, but involved an Evangelical who has my disease and I never talk religion with others online (not too religious in all honesty). After the disgusting post she wrote directed at me/my non-Christian self (for ?) I thought, “Maybe I should stay away from Terry’s blog now too,” but I got your sweet replies and reminded myself to never let 1 bad apple ruin the bunch–and there have been plenty. That could be done with me, too! I don’t understand it, Terry, but I’m grateful for you as we all need to be tolerant. My people were persecuted and murdered as a result of intolerance. So, I come here to learn more about those who are different than I and hope I can be a diplomat one day like you! Today, I came with my friend who is Muslim, and he enjoyed your writing, as well.

    Sorry for the post here, but I felt I could talk to you (and hopefully this didn’t go to 50 people!).
    Hugs! Alisa

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    • to give me a Yiddish name is an honor to me. Mensch, I like the way it sounds, I like it. I feel very honored and I am going to hang on to it.
      For another human to bash another human is totally against my beliefs. We were not put here on earth to be equal in thought and action. We were put here to love and be loved. You are my friend. I don’t care what others think of you. I know it can hurt when you see or hear those ugly words being thrown at you. What I did was look at your heart. Your sincere compassion and I knew that I had found a special friend. I always look forward to your emails because you and I??? We really talk. We just don’t surface chat. Big hugs Alisa to you from me

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