The answer is because I love my brother. I took some advice from a friend and decided yesterday to go see him on a time they never would expect me. It was 8:15pm and Al was in bed asleep.
Wow, I thought to myself. Talk about going to bed early. I woke him up and he didn’t smile. He didn’t talk for a few minutes. But when he did, he proceeded to tell me about the entire day.
He started off with the fact that the nurse was upset because he was eating the cookies I brought him. He then went to the fact he struggled for half an hour to get dressed because no one was there to help him. He told me about how they sat him in the bathroom door way for an hour until he finally had the urge to pee.
I figured out that when Al is upset and he can’t find relief he sleeps. I went out to ask the nurse how he had been doing this evening and she said fine. I questioned her on the walking bit. Al keeps telling me every day this week that they are trying to make him walk down to breakfast.
She stated that she highly doubted it, never having seem him walk. I think I figured out what that was all about. They ask him if he would like to walk and he says no. They then tell him to push himself down to the dining room. The rules are that if Al is having a good moment he is to push himself down, if he tries and can’t do it, he is to ask for help and they push him.
I believe that Al doesn’t quite get it. He wants to be pushed all the time and I think they try to get him to push himself. He should also in my opinion try his best to go on his own.
While I was there I left him a bag of M&M’s mixed with Snicker miniature bars. He was too sleepy to try one so I sat them on his bed side table and told him I would see him the next day. He fell back asleep before I exited his room.
This morning I got up early and walked into the facility. I went straight to his room and Al was on the potty and the aide was telling him to get dressed. There was Al, one aide, and a nurse in the bathroom with him.
I quietly walked over and sat in Al’s recliner. The aide was telling Al to get dressed and the nurse was handing him a wet wash cloth. They turned to leave his room and jumped back startled when they saw me there.
They turned back around and the nurse washed Al’s back and got him dressed. She asked me why I was there so early and I told her I wanted to get to the bottom of Al’s complaints. I said what better way to find out than to be here.
Al hadn’t seen me yet and he was crying and telling the other two about his candy. I listened with interest as he told them my sister brought me a bag of candy. When I woke up at 1am I was going to have a piece and it was gone. Someone stole it.
I piped in and said that I had indeed brought him candy. I told them where I had left it and that Al was asleep when I left and had never touched the bag. The nurse said she would ask the second shift nurse when she came in.
I couldn’t help myself even at this early stage of the morning. I asked and started laughing, Do you really think anyone is going to risk their paycheck by admitting they took a bag of candy?
Both the aid and nurse just looked at me. Sorry, friends, but when I see the scales tipping in my mind, it is definitely going in the direction of lie and keep the job. I told them I was irate. The candy doesn’t come cheap and if the staff had to stoop so low as to steal candy, then they better give a raise to these over-worked people.
I also brought up about the other nurse and the missing cookies. Making comments that he is eating sweets. This nurse told me they do encourage Al to not eat too many sweets. That his weight gain is their concern.
I said, I appreciate this fact that you are a caring staff, but the reason I have brought more garbage food in is because of a seven pound weight loss in five days, not weight gain. She said oh. He was dressed and ready to go to the dining room when the aide told him to get going. The nurse said, no, we push him down. The aide said, no we make him push himself down. I thought, oh wow, you two really got different stories here, in the same room, and right in front of me. The nurse than asked Al if he wanted to go on his own or be pushed and Al said to be pushed that his knees were hurting. She then pushed him down.
I searched his room and there was no ziplock bag anywhere. I went to search the other wastebasket and the aide said they already emptied it before I arrived.
So in ending this, Al is not actually walking I believe. He is struggling with pushing himself on his painful hours and gets upset because he has to asks so many people to push him down.
I believe as well as I am sitting here typing that there was no intention to dress him. I had witnessed them both walking a way from him until they saw me. I also believe that there is an M&M and Snicker bar thief. It happened somewhere after 8:30pm and before 1am.
This crap is going to stop. I don’t know how I will stop it yet, but when you start taking the candy that I bought and took to my brother, you thieves have crossed the line in my book. I want that candy replaced do you hear me staff???
I know it sounds funny, truly I do. To get upset over a bag of candy. But this isn’t the first time and I am sick of hearing story after story this whole week from Al about things that are happening and the staff says those three little words, I don’t know……
- Carolyn Hax: Boy’s stealing candy and lying about it (miamiherald.com)
- The Joy of Penny Candy (lilymugford.com)
- Grandma Arrested after Candy in Bowl Found to be Expired (wordrat.wordpress.com)
- Sweets For The Sweet…And Sickly! (poetesswug-thewugsbackyardblogspot.blogspot.com)