For Always

What you feel

So do I

A love for you

From my heart

To yours

I feel your pain

I hug your thoughts

Although we are two

Our hearts intertwine

My thoughts

Are with you

For always.

Terry Shepherd


English: Brother and sister sitting in flowers


Braun TV

Braun TV (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I am mad today and I know not why

My brain is dead, not thinking

Movement is more like robotic

No blinking or winking.

I have not felt like this before

I can usually fight it

But today, I move from habit

Walking from pit to pit.

This can not be the norm

There has to be a reason

Too hot, no sleep

Or maybe it’s just the season.

I have spoken few words today

Which is so not like me

No family or friends have come

My friend ended up being the TV.

I hear the bad news coming over the box

There is nothing good to hear

It helps to keep me down and out

And to keep pouring out a tear.

I hope that this sound is temporary

For I don’t like how I feel

I want change to come for me

I have asked God for a better deal.

When Three Become One

16th Parkinson's Unity Walk 2010   -   Central...

16th Parkinson's Unity Walk 2010 - Central Park, NYC - 04/24/10 (Photo credit: asterix611)

Very little sleep last night. Restless, stomach ache, acid reflex. Nerves were a mess from the prior night. Five am, I was still tossing and turning. Rolling from side to side, trying to get comfortable. Finally got up and used the ladies room. Back in my warm bed, I took two acid relievers. I think around five thirty, I finally fell asleep. I was woken up at eight forty-five am with someone letting me know he was up and ready for medications. Good going there sis. I had over slept! At least, he didn’t try finding the hidden medications and taking  them himself. I must be up, no matter how I slept. Today is shower day, and the caregiver was here. We spent a lot of time talking to him after his shower. My heart had the biggest ache in it and my stomach had this huge knot. We were explaining to him that regularly scheduled outings were not going to happen anymore. Tears streaming down his face, nose running, he put his hands up in the air and asked us both what had he done wrong. By that time, my tears were flowing along with his. Explaining to him about safety issues, constant stumbling, legs being weak from tremors, was all just going over his head. He did not understand. He said he was going to be confined to the house every day. He wanted to die. He was ready to die right now. I have no words to describe how this affected me. I looked at the caregiver and saw a tear in her eye. This was a very emotional time for all three of us who separately have our job to do, but together share the same pain, heart and soul.