70 thoughts on “I Don’t Know What is Happening

  1. That kitty looks like our Cosmo! I am sending you peace, strength and knowing energies to help carry you through the transition. He is ready, you are ready. The energy of the Universe is good for the changing of forms. Embrace to miracle that this moment is and know that Al will be able to be with you in ways he never could while trapped in a Human form. Change is scary but it will always come. Accepting is easier than resisting and more productive. Much love to you both.

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  2. Terri,
    Prayers with you and Al. I think that folks with such serious terminal illnesses, need to talk to someone in the ministry to prepare them as they progress for what will eventually come. I hope he finds comfort with his minister.

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    • me too, this is my hope. I can’t tell if Al is going or not. He does not have the common signs of death nearing. All I know is he thinks he is going and maybe the minister can help him in some way. Hugs

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  3. Hi Terry, my heart goes out to you and my love…Al at another level knows what is happening to his body, and if he is ready to go at this point and is truly feeling it, most likely a minister can ease both his fear and his passage…remember that Al, even though you don’t want him to go, will be free of his body and pain and confusion. I know that doesn’t help as much as it should, I can only tell you after watching my brother go through this that it was a relief that he was not longer living with the MSA…I will always love him, and I will always miss him, but I remain very grateful that he was released from this life. And no, none of that helps you right now, I know that….I wish I had a magic wand to help you both. The minister will hopefully help him through his fear and anxiety, I would truly guess that Al does not want to leave you. I know with my father toward the end of his days, I realized that he needed my permission, my blessing to go…we talked and I told him that I loved him, and that I did not want him to continue to stay for me, or for any reason, and he passed peacefully early the next morning. It is heartbreaking, nearly impossible at times, to watch anyone with an illness at this stage, you are wonderful with Al, all you can do is love him and let him go when he is ready…

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    • For the first time tonight Al told me he doesn’t want to leave me. I told him I would be alright. i asked him to save me a spot beside him, that I will be along real soon. I hope the minister calms his emotions. Big big hugs to you my friend

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    • oh thank you and bless you. I just want everything to stop and be ok again, but I can’t so I want him to be healed, that is my prayer. even if it means going to be with God

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  4. You both are in my thoughts. I follow you still but have had to take a break in posting as school and work both have me occupied. Just know I am here if you need a friend. {hugs} Al getting love from his faithful companion made me smile. ❤

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    • thank you Julie, I hope Ants never goes through this. I think Al found some peace in the minister’s words. He is calmer and not crying. He ate a small dish of ice cream and he is now in his bed resting with the TV on

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  5. Vic asked for her minister a week before she died. As a family we all took Holy Communion with Vic one last time. Al knows his time is near. His body is telling him. It is an emotional time for you both. Thinking of you both with gentle love and sadness.

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  6. Lovely pictures from Al with Rhino,he loves and adores. So good that he is sitting with him to give him comfort too! Glad the minister came, let him come more often and talk and listen to Al. Bless you both and I wish you strength. Be there for Al, just be there! He needs and loves that! We are here for you, Terry!

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  7. Terry, we don’t always need to know what is happening … or to understand. Al maybe just want to talk with the minister … about something that is on his mind. Love your photos of Al and Rhino, so sweet and filled with two ways love. Glad that the ministers visit made Al calm. Sometimes a couple of words can ease our minds. So happy for you too.

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    • I agree Vivi, I don’t get involved when the minister and Al talk. I feel that is Al’s private time and thoughts. It helped for a short time and then the illness took over again most of the night

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  8. That last picture maybe the best picture I’ve ever seen. If most pictures say a thousand words then that ones says a million. You may have to write a book on that one. I love the way that animals know and they will come to help anyway they can. It will all be ok eventually. Maybe not today but peace is coming for both of you.

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      • dearest Terry, all of the emotions you are being attacked by are normal, most struggle with exactly what you are saying, and its overwhelming and painful, don’t get mad at yourself, being scared is okay, being mad at yourself is okay, wanting him to stay is okay, its NOT selfish, its because you love him. You love Al, that’s all there is.

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