Tne Next Step in M.S.A.

Ever since Alcame home last evening something hasn’t been right. Setting aside the fact that I…

Tne Next Step in M.S.A.

Posted on October 31, 2013 by Who I am

Ever since Al came home last evening something hasn’t been right. Setting aside the fact that I could see he was very weak, I also tribute this to the fact he has been in a bed for five days.

But there is something else and I could not put my finger quite on it. Now that Al has been here all night and today I see a little more issues. Breathing for Al is difficult even when I am not moving him.

I did get him out of bed today. I pushed him to the kitchen table and he ate. He didn’t want me to feed him but it took him an hour to eat, but it’s alright, we weren’t going anywhere today.

The Hospice nurse came today to see Al. She checked him over. Al could not take his deep breaths like he needed to do so she could listen to his lungs. He leaned to the side and didn’t sit up straight. His voice is so soft and he doesn’t articulate his words so understanding him is very difficult.

Today I have seen him breathing deeply. He is struggling and I am giving him medication to help with this. I just checked on him and he is actually stopping breathing and then breathing again. It is not like that special breathing at the end of life, but very similar.

The Hospice Doctor and the nurse, and Hospice House all agreed that it was time for the next step. I have dreaded this for months and now it is here.

He can still go to Day Program if he can function here at home enough to go. I know he wants to go pretty bad tomorrow as they are having a Halloween party. I hope he can go too for his sake.

The other decision that was made is all of his medications minus pain and seizure and BM aides have been put a way now. Writing that sentence about rips me in half. I am not dumb. I know what that means.

I want to write more, but I can’t write now. I just can’t deal with it, sorry.

Hugs to all of you who support Al and me, who have stood by our sides. I know you will each understand why I have to cut this short.