Tag Archives: reality

Daily Prompt/ Happily Ever After/ The Daily Post

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“And they lived happily ever after.” Think about this line for a few minutes. Are you living happily ever after? If not, what will it take for you to get there?

This is so opposite of my feelings today, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I have been in hay stacks. Every once in a while if you look close you can see my head pop up for fresh air.

This prompt today is not going to bring anything but the plain ugly truth about life. I gave up fairy tales and princess and princes years ago as I walked a way from my divorce. Now I choose to cling to God and friendships like there is no tomorrow.

I don’t carry much faith in the human race on the surface. I do trust my friends let me affirm this.

I am not living happily ever after because I don’t think it is a reality part of life. To live this way would entail all humans to think of others before themselves first most. It would require God to be in every heart. We would see the good and understand the bad in each other.

The judging of character would vanish into thin air. Our nation would be considered as one, united together to bring peace among those who walk this earth.

I don’t know what actually goes on inside your home. I only know what I read on here. If I am extremely bored, I will flip on the television and watch the wildly entertaining news. Anchormen who are geared to show us the worst of the world.

On the news channel I watch there is a tiny segment that is saved for one, just one good thing that happened some where in the world. It is so sad that what sells is tragedy, gossip, money, sex, and vulgar language.

In my own home I work very hard with the help of God and all of you to remain as up-beat as possible about life. It doesn’t take much to burst those balloons flying over my head  by callous remarks.

I won’t take you through the back door and let you see the ugly things I am dealing with at this time. But, I can give you one example. Let me reach my hands into the hay stack and pull out the first thing my fingers touch.

Ah yes, here is a good one. Maybe just a perfect way of letting you understand the greed in the world today. You may know immediately how you would react to next paragraphs. Or, you may need to ponder on it for a few minutes. Here is one of my issues.

A couple of years back I wanted to be as prepared for anything that I could as far as my brother is concerned. You know the saying, get er done. I contacted a funeral home and discussed funeral arrangements for Al. Together the owner and I set up a prepaid expense funeral. I knew the dollar amount per month and all of the fine details.

She in turn took the information and sent it to an insurance company and in a couple of weeks I received the policy in the mail. What do you do with these? The same thing I did. File it in the safe, hopefully to not have to look at it for years to come.

Without realizing it at the time it would come up in conversation later on, but not because Al passed away, but because it is technically considered a life insurance policy now. Al is on Medicaid and things have now changed and not for the good.

The policy is as far as I know not going to be considered an allowable expense, since the title says Life Insurance Policy. I won’t go into the details but I know  in my heart that this is for a prepaid funeral.

The kicker of this whole thing is I was told from Al’s facility that I should just sneak into his room and sell his coke items if I wanted his funeral paid, because they were taking even more money now from him since the payments are going to be considered null and void.

How would you react if they were talking about your brother, or mother or father? My heart has been broken so badly I don’t even know if super glue could hold it together. I am on the ruby-throated-hummingbird-m450.jpgphone and in meetings opening every door possible for Al.

I need to do what others are not. I am looking at Al as my brother, a human life, God’s child. He deserves dignity and respect no matter what illness or disability he has. What I am working on now is hopefully the best shot Al will ever have on this earth, but it takes time, as all government issues do.

I am not depressed but I am very sad. I am a fighter and I will give it all I have to give Al the very best of happily ever after there is. I know that we are down to very little choices, but as each door is forced opened, I gain more hope.

This is just a bit of what is going on in my part of the world. I carry faith and hope but I refuse to have my balloon stuck with one more needle. Landing on the cold ground does not feel good. I will continue to live in the reality and dream about the happily ever after.

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A Man and his Dog

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Rusty, the dog sat patiently at the foot end of the bed. The only time he moved was to eat

Rusty

and go outdoors for relief. It did not matter if there were  visitors  or not. He never moved.

John was his master. They had been together for nine years. Every day when John went to work, Rusty would sit by the door waiting for his master to come home. They would eat supper together, sometimes Rusty would watch while John worked in the yard. It was always the two of them when John had to go to town.

Now John was sick and Rusty knew it. He guarded the bed, listening for sounds coming from his master, hoping he could help. Every day John’s sister would go to his room and attend to his needs. She bathed him, changed his sheets and fixed him a cup of soup and brought  it to him.

Before she left, she would always lean over John and tell him how much she loved him and leave snacks on his bed side table. He didn’t eat much anymore, but she didn’t want the table to be empty in case he had a change of mind.

The minister came from the church down the road. John didn’t go regularly, but the minister wanted to make sure John was straight in his heart and knew where he was going to go.

When the nights drew near, and the shadows took over the sunshine, Rusty would jump on the bed and lie at the foot of his master. When Rusty could hear the breathing slow down, he would go to his master’s side and give his master a kiss. John always smiled.

John had been a lawyer in his working days. He was strong-willed, and worked hard. He hardly ever lost any cases. He became rich in monies but poor with family and friends. He didn’t care whether he was going to hurt someone’s feelings. He didn’t care if he drained a person’s bank account. He cared about winning.

He married only once. He was past the prime age of marrying, but he couldn’t stop thinking about the lady with the big green eyes and the gentle smile. She worked for him as  part of the cleaning crew.

At first when he was working late, she would knock on his door getting permission to come in and start on his room. He seemed a little irritated with her presence, but with her gentle nudging, the two of them found conversations to become easier.

One time a few months after she had been cleaning, she knocked on the door and when she heard the familiar ring of his voice she walked in to see a two red roses waiting for her. From then on it was instant love. Love poured out of their eyes. Talk  made more sense, and soon he found himself asking, ” Joan, would you care to have dinner with me tomorrow night? It it will be Friday and I should be wrapped up with most of my work”.

Her eyes glistened as her voice shook out the words, ” Yes John, I would love to go to dinner with you”. He got up from his desk and walked over to her. He embraced her and told her, ” Good. I will pick you up around seven since you don’t work on Fridays”.

From the moment Friday night  ended, the two of them could be found dining every Friday after. As it became a regular date night, Joan’s  family stepped in to remind her of how mean John was. He thinks of no one they said. He is just not the proper man for you. Their voices went unheard as she knew in her heart she was already in love with him.

It was nearing Christmas Eve and John had asked Joan if she would consider having dinner at his house and she had said yes. He picked her up at their regular time and when they entered the front doors, the smell of food could make you dizzy.

John’s sister Kara who lived with him taking care of the house had made a delightful meal. After helping Joan take off her coat, he guided her to the dining room table where two candles were lit, and sitting on the plates were two steaming bowls of home-made chicken soup. He seated her and the two of them exchanged glances and conversations of the holidays coming.

When the bowls were removed, a plate of prime rib decorated by baby potatoes and glazed carrots appeared. Joan said, ” This food is so delicious. You should not have gone to so much bother John”. He replied, ” Don’t worry, Kara fixed it all, and she has cooked for me for so long, that placing another plate on the table was no bother”. She smiled at him.

When the dessert came, two dishes of orange sherbert were placed in front of them, and a  box also came out of John’s pocket. He laid it gently at her finger tips and said, ” Open it Joan, open it now”. Her eyes began to water as she opened the box and saw a beautiful diamond ring. She looked up at John and he said, ” Yes, it is for you. I want you to have it”. John got up from his seat and knelt at her side, and taking her hands in his, asked her to be his wife.

Joan put her hand to her heart and then grasped the box and gave it back to John. ” You put the ring on my finger John. I have always envisioned this scene in my head. You put your heart on my finger”. He took the ring out of the box and placed it on her left third finger and then standing up he helped her out of her chair and they hugged and kissed.

For the first time John felt something other than his work. Love had touched his heart. His eyes danced and his walk became lighter. Each day was filled with sunshine. He never saw gray skies again.

A couple of weeks later the two were married by the judge. He took her to Paris for their honeymoon, and the two wished they never had to return to the everyday routine. John and Joan were so happy for the next year. Each day was like a brand new day.  Except for work, the two shared a wonderful life. John even gave up a few hours of work to be with his darling wife.

One morning John woke but Joan didn’t. She had passed a way through the night. She had suffered an aneurism and she was gone. John’s heart broke in several pieces. He went through the motions of the next few days. His lips became dry and his voice choked when he spoke.

After a week had passed by, John buried himself back in his work. He stayed late nights and sometimes slept on the office couch. His sister tried to coax him into seeking some help, but he brushed her off. The only comfort he ever found was in his dog Rusty.

Rusty didn’t scold him. Rusty accepted and loved him. Every nite it was Rusty and John at the dinner table. He had no friends. There had been too many misunderstandings from the past. All he had left was Karla, and he realized that he treated her more like a servant instead of a sister.

Now John lie in his bed, getting ready to meet his maker. Alone except for Rusty and Karla. Days and nights turned into one. Karla took on another job, so she was only at home in the early mornings and evenings.

John was dying of cancer alone. He was living out his last days in the same manner he had treated people in the past. The world became cold and his heart became weary. He lay there remembering the eyes of his beloved Joan, and a smile stretched over his face and then faded a way as his last breath left his body  with Rusty lying at his side.

 

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Real Or Not

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I seemed to rough today, you may be saying to yourself. I didn’t ask the normal questions that I used to do. Instead I explained he was asleep and dreaming. He told me he was asleep, but someone knocked at his door, and it was God standing there when he opened his eyes, but yet he tells me he was awake when this happened. I guess you can take it as you wish. He was asleep and dreaming all this, or he was asleep and woken up and therefore awake for the conversation. I, personally, am not going to challenge this area, as I am still too tired.

We had a busy day yesterday, because of this photo. We got a new kitty. A female calico, whom we named Cali. She is six months old and very ornery. She had lived outside most of her life, and so training for indoor use of a kitty box was a challenge. The first night we had her, she slept  at the edge of my head until five in the morning, then she woke up. I brought her out to the living room where for the millionth time, I tried putting her in her kitty litter box, but each time I placed her there, all four legs went spread eagled and all claws came out. She didn’t go, but instead, chose to go in another area.

At five in the morning, I was not a happy camper! I stayed awake for some time, as she was ready to play, and I wasn’t. She was hungry, and I was not. We had purchased some kitty toys, which she played with for about an hour. My sleep headache kicked in. I hate these headaches, because the only thing that cures them is sleep.

She played and I cleaned up her mess. Finally, she settled down and I laid on the couch, but she didn’t want me to lie down. Instead she chose to jump all over me, and kiss my nose, and purr in my ear. Her play continued once again, and when she finally settled for her morning nap, and I was about asleep on the couch, a half an hour later, Al was up.

Up I go, and get medications ready and  help with breakfast, while that ornery little Cali, lie napping on the couch, that was once claimed mine. As soon as breakfast was over, the shower girl appeared. I had not even had time to get dressed, or maybe I was too tired to dress, but either way, I greeted her in my P.J.’s.

After she left, I laid down on the couch and Al watched television, the cat napped and played, and I slept. It was nice, but I felt so drugged out once my nap was over, because either my age or my body was telling me that it was out of its zone, that I had slept too late.

The rest of the day was spent outside in the shed, cleaning it out, and building a new shelf area, because I can’t quit buying new things I think the yard needs or my son adds his items to the shed, so we needed more space. I also kept putting Cali in the litter box, off and on all day, because I was determined to win this game. She was going to use the litter box or else!

My son and his family was here most of the day, and we grilled out brats and hamburgers on the grill and made some pasta and vegetables for side dishes, for our supper. After all clean up was done, I came into the living room to pick up the darn kitty and try once again, but I was in shock, because she, herself, was climbing into it just as I was going to pick her up and try again. She went! All by herself!. I was so thankful, I was thanking Jesus right there in front of everyone. I didn’t care, who saw or heard me, she was trained!

My son and his girlfriend left for a while, and I watched the boys while Al watched his TV and the boys played. As I was watching them , I noticed how dirty they were from being outside so much, so I gave each of them a bath. I fortunately had clean swim trunks of the oldest boy’s here, so he put those on, but I had no clean clothes for the little one, so I tied one of my sleeveless tank tops in a criss cross direction at the shoulders and slipped this on him. To me, he looked so cute, but his mom said what???? is that???? when she got back, and I explained the bathing, and you can change him to boy clothes when you go home.

By the time they left, it was late, Al was tired, the kitty had been worn out from play. I took a shower and we all went to bed, even the kitty climbed back up on the edge of my head and slept all night until five this morning. This time I didn’t get up, because I knew she knew the kitty box. My sleep wasn’t that good afterwards, although I never got out of bed with her, but she decided she needed to let me know she was awake, by bouncing and  playing all over the bed, after she pottied and ate.

I ignored her and rolled over and through the waves of the bed bouncing, I went back to sleep. I was woke up to Al saying, it’s time. Yep, I had over slept once again. I jumped out of bed, and glanced at the living room floor and it was clean. Cali had done a good job!

I got Al’s medications ready and helped him with breakfast. He needed help with his vitamin this morning from his tremors. Yesterday, the tremors seemed fairly calm, but this morning, they were full force.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and just sat here at the computer desk, looking around at the house, which to me was a disaster. Kitty toys everywhere, kitty litter on the floor. Spills under and around the table last night from Al and the two boys eating. I had to clean up, but I was still tired.

Al is having a very difficult time eating, and it took him quite some time to finish his breakfast, but about three-fourths way through his eating he tells me that God knocked on his bedroom door, and that God came over to his bed and sat down, and told him it is time.

This brought tears and it is also was  when that little bit of roughness came over me. I have heard it so much, that in my heart, I assume that is was another one of his dreams, so I just said calmly to him, you were dreaming bud, but he didn’t buy it, and I didn’t want to argue, so as he told his story, I drank my coffee and smoked my cigarette, and didn’t offer any words to him. I am not going to try to prove him or me right or wrong, what’s the use? He is still sitting here, breathing, crying and eating, so it isn’t time right this moment.

I can’t keep doing it! I can’t keep getting myself all worked up thinking that each word he says about how God visits him, I go to pieces, thinking I am going to lose Al at anytime! Watching him more than I needed to. It makes me stressed more than usual, and I don’t need this, and neither does he.

I sat down here to start this story, and got the first four words on paper, and I hear him come out of his bathroom, and ask me to wash his back. I said sure, and got up and went to his bathroom to help him. His body was covered in heavy sweat, which is beginning to be a normal thing for him daily for about an hour after he rises, so I washed him all down and  powdered his back and chest. I put his deodorant on him and placed the toothpaste on his toothbrush.

I looked at his room, and chuckled to myself. It doesn’t matter how much Al sweats, or how many tears are falling, or whether God came to him or not, he doesn’t budge from his routine.

There in his recliner, sat a pile of coca cola items, leaving him no  place to sit. He had taken  his dirty sheets off and they were lying on the floor. It is Thursday!, changing sheet day. Time for me to get to work on his room.

I placed my thoughts on hold, went in and moved all the coca cola items away from his bed so I could get in around the bed to make it with clean sheets. Al was standing in the doorway hanging onto both sides of the door frame, waiting for me to finish. When I was finished, he made his way to his recliner, and neatly placed each collection item back on the edge of the bed, so he could study them through out the day.

There is one piece that our dear friend had sent him in the gift box last month, and it is a Christmas, coca cola ornament. I have the baby monitor system so that I can hear him if he yells for me, and each night as I lie down to go to sleep, I hear a Christmas song being played, coming over the monitor. Al took this ornament, that he treasures so much, and placed it on the very top of his pile on the bed, and nearest to him, so he can play it through out the day.

We go through many changes in one day here, but Al’s routine never changes even through the tears, and visions and pain he endures. I chuckled again as I walked out of his room, amazed at what this man can endure, but yet keep his mind cemented to. I am now sitting here writing this. Al is watching television and I hear a bell in the background, letting me know that Cali is not napping yet. After I am finished, I will begin to clean the house up once again for the day.