You gave me permission to cry, so I am doing it, just a tear or two but still a cry for me. I didn’t sleep that well last night, so when Al took his nap, I decided to take one also. I knew the caregiver would be here at five, so I had an hour to nap. I didn’t fall asleep right away. I must have been too tired. I had not been able to talk to Al yet on the hopes of the chair, and I was thinking still about how he was so upset with me. Maybe now that I still haven’t done it, I should wait to see if he actually gets approved also by the neurologist on Friday. I must have finally slept, because I had this dream that Al was bending over me calling my name. I heard him call my name twice before I said, what do you want. He was crying and told me that no one cared about him anymore. That he must be doing something wrong to chase the caregivers away. I don’t know exactly what I had said, but I remember mumbling to him, to go back to his bed, the caregiver would be here at five. It wasn’t time yet. I rolled over on my side, and he sat on the couch beside me and cried. I sat up in my dream and was surely showing him my dissatisfied side. I was exhausted from constantly trying to assure Al that people loved him. That people didn’t make fun of his tremors, that they didn’t stare at him. I just wanted him to go away and leave me alone. He got up and walked away, and I changed my dream from aggravated to something nice. I don’t know the time that went by but the dream came back. There he was standing over me again. I could feel his tears dripping on my face. I wiped them away, and tried so hard to have my peaceful dream, and much-needed nap. He said no more, but then I heard the front door open up. This scared me awake, and I noticed he was actually going outside. I wasn’t dreaming anymore, I was wide awake. I jumped off of the couch and went to the door to see what he was doing. He was going to get the daily newspaper. Geesh! Give me a heart attack! I watched him walk back in, and saw that his face was full of tears. He sat beside me on the couch and we just looked at each other without saying any words. His mind was wide awake, and mine wasn’t. I looked away from him and looked at the clock. It was five thirty, No caregiver. I got my phone and called her number, and it was being forwarded to her message center. I hate that with a passion. If you are not going to show up, for heaven’s sake, give me a call. Don’t force me to call you and then you have no guts to answer the phone. I realized by looking at Al’s tears, comforting him that I would give him his shower, and no caregiver, this had not been a dream. I was back in the reality world, again.
Oh my, I wonder what our world is coming to when someone just doesn’t show up at the appointed time. I can understand Al being upset, his notion of time is still very good and he was looking for her to come to the door.
I am sorry for your and his disappointment and I hope the rest of the evening goes better. Our prayers are with you as always.
Your friend,
Ed
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thank you Ed. I guess in the morning, i will just have to call a home health care company and see if they can give him his showers, enough of private caregivers!
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What a shame! …~mkg
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ya i thought so too
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I’m sorry that happened and I’m sure you’ll be giving someone a piece of your mind.
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thank you rumpy dog
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I have nominated you for the “Sisterhood of the World Blogger Award”. Here is the link to my blog post about it… http://forhisgloryandpraise.wordpress.com/
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bless your heart, thank u
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You are welcome!
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Oh dear.
Terry, You are such a beautiful person. You deserve some sweet dreams. I will wish and pray for some for you, and for Al. ~ Lily
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i have just nominated you for the Sisterhood of the world bloggers award!!!
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thank u my sweet friend for saying this. it means a lot to me
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Give caregiver some time and then call her. Remember she has a life, and something may have happened that made her forget to call. She may have had a family emergency, gotten sick herself, God forbid an accident on her way over, or having other patients too may have had an emergency with one of them before coming to your home. We often forget with caregivers that they have lives and family outside of caregiving. Let Al know the same. It will help him understand that sometimes it is just the caregiver who has something happen in their own lives that causes it to happen and it is no reflection at all on him. I’m sure when you talk to the caregiver she will explain what happened.
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i am hoping
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I hope so too, because I would hate to think someone uncaring would choose to be part of a profession that depends on being caring. But I also know that when we are overwhelmed in caring with our loved ones, it can sometime be easy to forget that caregivers have lives of their own. My oldest worked as a caregiver for an older German woman with Parkinsons, and at the same time was dealing with struggles at home. The other nurses and caregivers often would forget that my daughter had a son and husband at home who needed her and would call her at all times of the day and night to come in, because the woman didn’t like anyone taking care of her but my daughter. My daughter often went in, because she loved the woman like she was her aunt. You see my mother’s family was German, and having taken German myself, my daughter was able to easily communicate with this woman and understand her broken english better than the others.
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i am half german also, and the other half swedish. i lived in stuttgart germany for a year. i understand how they called your daughter all the time. i have been a caregiver for many years, getting calls at all times. they do seem to have their favorites, which tells me your daughter was a good caregiver
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The way you write this is so poignant.
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thank you JUlie!
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My sister’s husband, age 54 has MS. She has navigated many of the things you write about, part-time caregivers, scooter chairs, motorized wheelchairs. She may be a good resource for you. If you are interested email me at kennett_lena@hotmail.com
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if she has any input for me i would be interested . i never know what to expect with this parkinson’s
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Email me.
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i need an email address
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Oh, sorry. I thought I gave it. 🙂 Here it is kennett_lena@hotmail.com
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oh my goodness, i would have been bawling! that’s brutal. did you ever find out why they didn’t show?
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i have left three messages with no phone calls returned. i feel like she has quit without me knowing it
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that is so unprofessional! where did you find her? maybe if she did that it was better not to have her for Al, i wonder what kind of person she would be?
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i had placed an ad in the newspaper, and she replied. i am going to have to go through a home health care i guess and pay out big dollars
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Oh Angel Terry . ..those dreams sound familiar to me! Stress . .too much stress! love and prayers for the caregiver to still be on board or for God to provide another one!
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i am hoping but still nothing from her. i am giving up hope at this time
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I’m sorry to hear she didn’t show up and you have more disappointments than most because there appears to be a turnover. I’m am not so young but I have made it a rule all my life that the less you expect the better the outcome. I am not belittling the gargantuan job you are up against. Maybe a midset might be a great benefit. I told my daughter when she had trouble with jobs: Change is always going to be there. It is easier if your embrace it. If you accept that life is full of change and accept that this is so, everything becomes less of a burden. I do not want to be out of line. This is a mind over matter thing. Might you contact me?
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Terry, give her a ring – something can has happen to her – and if not you will get an answer instead of having to wonder what is wrong or what did go wrong. You have to know .. somehow. Have problems with me email – haven’t got any new posting from anyone – don’t have a clue what happen here. Going over to mum today. It’s public holiday here today, so bad connections. Talk to you later again. JUST ring her – NOW!!!
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i did get ahold of her finally, and she just didn’t want to come. so now i m looking again
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Okay … good on you. At least you know and can start doing other arrangements – don’t understand people, why can’t they be honest and say as it’s – instead of just stay away. Terrible – so upsetting. Feel so sorry for you, but I know you will find a new one – but I know it’s a massive struggle for you.
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yes it is my friend. i have to keep trying
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thank you for believing in me, love ya my friend
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SENDING YOU AND AL
LOTS OF LOVE TERRY ……..
XO
CAT
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thank you Cat!
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I HAVE A PRAYER FOR YOU ……………
JUST READING YOU NEW POST …….RIGHT NOW …………….. I WILL LINK IT UP FOR YOU .
WISHING YOU AN UNCONDITIONAL LOVE DAY ,,,,XO
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that is wonderful!!!
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UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS FAITH AND REALIZING THAT ALL WE BE OK ….RIGHT ?
XO
HOPE IT BRINGS YOU SOME COMFORT TODAY
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thank you Cat
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thank you my friend
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YOU’RE WELCOME MY FRIEND 🙂
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LOVE XO
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My heart goes out to you. This can’t be easy, but it can get better. Just keep remembering that as your head explodes with headaches. And sweeter dreams to come too. Ameen. 😀
Pink.
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thank you Pink!!! i will remember this
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