I Can’t Even Think of a Title For This

Blue_candleI have been stressed out today. I know, I shouldn’t be this way, but it was just one of those nasty days from outer space. The bad thing is nothing is so major that I am going to have death knocking at my door.

It is all the little pieces of strings that attach themselves to me as I walk upon this land. To start off I checked the mail on the way to go see Al. There it was, that bill that the collection agency called me about. Oh no, it is for real.

There was nothing I could do at that moment. I was on the road. Going in to see Al was a disaster in itself. Al was crying and seemed so depressed when I got there. I wanted to turn around and run but thought to myself,coward.

While eating he was leaning forward so far that food kept falling back out of his mouth. He could barely hold his head upright to eat. Then he would get teary-eyed again because he was frustrated. Then his silverware started playing songs on his plate as his tremors decided to have a party during meal time. That made him cry more.

There was a part of me that wanted to leave, because I get so sucked up in his emotions. Another part of me wanted to pick him up and rock him, and the other part of me tried to be the big sister and calm things over.

Finally the truth surfaced. Sunday is Mother’s Day and the 13th, just a few days later is Mom’s birthday. Al loved Mom so much. He has always struggled with her death. I asked him if he would like me to pick him up and the two of us could go place flowers on Mom’s grave. That didn’t go over at all. Then he wailed. Tears and anything liquid that could run did. It took two nurses and me to calm him down.

I wanted to kick myself in the rear. Why did I ask him that? Darn Terry. The truth was I thought it may help him feel closer to her but that idea backfired. I stayed a couple of hours and then I told him I loved him, and would bring him back lunch, snacks and soda when I returned on Sunday.

I went to meet a lady who sold me six nice starter plants of mint and orange mint. They looked really healthy. Next I paid a visit to the collection agency with bill in hand. I was just sure that the medical billing company had not sent  his bill to the proper insurance company.

But that wasn’t the case at all. In fact it was worse. This bill was from 12/2011. I had just been working these past two weeks on Al’s inventory and I knew without a doubt there was no bill I paid for over one thousand dollars.

I asked the lady to get a hold of the company and she said she would get an itemized bill for me. I had also tried calling this company twice while visiting Al but only got those stupid leave a message recordings, and of course they never called me back.

The bad thing about it all now is the time limit is past. According to her you only have one year to declare any changes to address, insurance etc. So by now being almost a year and a half later, no one, not even the government, she said, will go back and pay.

I was sick at heart. Here I am trying to find a way to pay this huge bill the nursing home wants. By the way, I don’t know if any of you keep tabs on the web page link for Al’s fundraiser, but we now have a total of $335.00. Many of you have helped and I so appreciate it. I have emailed and or made comments on the comment page about my deepest thanks. Here is the link if anyone would still care to help him. I think I am down to 52 days left. The link is


So now I have this big debt and a bill for over a thousand dollars and no one will go back and pick it up. I was sad and frustrated and mad all at the same time. I asked her when she received the bill for collection and she stated a week a go.

I pinpointed that this was way past the year dead line and why did the company wait so long? Why did they never send me a bill? She said to go home and wait for the new statement to arrive which would be a week.

I came home and went through the file for that month. I saw where Al had been in the hospital. It showed the correct address and it showed where I had paid them. But guess what, no where in that month or following clear up to this day today was there one single bill from this company. Now I was turning in to Al. I once again cried. Now it is up to almost eight thousand minus the help you all have given for the two bills.

I went outside and tried to erase my mind and planted all of the mint.  After that I didn’t feel like cooking so I went to a nearby restaurant and picked up some supper and I can’t believe I did this, I just can’t believe it. I went through the drive-thru and when I went to the window to pay and pick up the food the gal was complaining of having a bad day.

So what did I do? Yep, you guessed it. I rattled on about the bad two days I have been going through and then I just let loose. I started bawling like a big old baby. I bet that gal thought I had a screw loose. I don’t know if she looked a way or at me but I felt an arm on my arm and it brought me a sense of comfort. A human touch is something I miss very much. I could see that while she was on the other side of the window she was showing me compassion. It helped and then I felt embarrassed because I showed weakness. I thanked her and told myself, don’t come back here until you know they have forgotten your face.

When I came home I found out that the Case Worker has Al’s budget. He and I and the Day Program will all be meeting next Thursday. They will now listen to my request for needs for him and they will discuss the cost to have Al at Day Program. This will all be divided up in his budget and then after this  is decided, it will be sent back to the State. He said he hopes to have Al back in his home by June 1. I was excited and called Al and let him know but he was so sunk in Parkinson’s and Mom that he just cried again wanting to come home tonight.

So we had some good news in the middle of the storm, and now I have to hurry and make sure our house is as clean and open for wheelchair before next Thursday’s inspection. Then I have to figure out how in the world to pay these two debts off. It still makes me angry that the medical place waited until after the deadline to file it with a collection agency. It makes me angry that they never sent one single bill. Unless someone knows of a way around this, I figure Al will be deceased before these two debts are paid off. Or he will pay them until his passing and then they will disappear??? I don’t know.

34 thoughts on “I Can’t Even Think of a Title For This

  1. Sorry for your difficulties. I pray you will get some help. Wish I could do more, but I’m struggling financially myself and helping out family too. I know how you feel if that helps at all.


    • there are so many of us struggling today. I find it difficult to swallow the harshness of these collection agencies. Life is so hard anymore. I appreciate you stopping by to chat with me. It makes me feel better Holly


      • it is my brother’s finances, but it is awful since he can not work and is in a wheelchair. these bad companies need to get a heart


      • I feel that most companies are like that. I have some bad experiences. Few companies have heart and I experienced their goodness and still maintain a good relationship with the boss and colleagues


  2. G’day! Words genuinely escape me but please know you are not alone in this world and my Nana used to say one is neither the first, nor the last of anything in this life…then follow with…and someone always has it worse…Cheers! Joanne


    • Yes I somewhere through the day realize that many are worse off. I get so involved with my brother’s illness and depression that sometimes it is hard to grab a hold of the life preservor


  3. Terry, I still don’t think you are legally responsible for Al’s bills. Can he just declare bankrupcy? If not let it go to collections. They can’t take money if he doesn’t have any. It really seems that you need to talk to a pro bono lawyer and not depend on the ladies who work for the colllection agencies. They don’t have your best interest in mind. They are taking care of themselves.

    Praying for you and Al.


    • I am going to wait for the detailed bill to come and although I realize I am not responsible for his debts, i also don’t care to have them laying over his head either. Somehow this has got to be resolved. It is not my fault the medical company waited past the year time limit to finally alert me that there is a bill out there. I am tired of being punished for other’s stupid mistakes


  4. So sorry to hear of this financial worry. What a rotten day to have had. Life is never easy financially with chronic ill health and with Al in such a state of misery, it can’t have been easy.
    Sending you lots of sympathy and here’s hoping the next few days will be better for you.


    • Hello Victoria. I always love talking with you because I love your eye photo. Thank you for being so kind to me. I would do anything to vanish my brother’s illness. I suppose once Mother’s Day has passed and Mom’s birthday, which I just realized her birthday is only one day after Mother’s Day this year, that Al will settle down somewhat. Thanks so much for stopping by Victoria


  5. This was definitely an argh day for you! Goodness. I had something weird like that happen too, this year, and when I called about it, they said it was a bill from 2012 that had gotten caught up in the system. Strange. It was bothersome and not nearly as much as your bill is though! Terry, I don’t know about legally, but there was something in your ending paragraph that caught my attention. To just pay a little on it each month. If it’s only a dollar, so be it. At least you are doing what you can, in good faith. God bless you and show you a way through all of this.


    • good idea Debbie, I guess when it rains it pours, right? God will deal with this but I have to get in the habit of going to him first instead of myself. A very bad habit I have. I am so used to taking care of myself, and then I found God, and now I need to let him take care of me


  6. Oh, Terry, I feel so bad for you.

    The advice about a pro bone lawyer is good. I’d have thought the company not billing you leaves them in the wrong; at the very least, they should agree to a payment plan you can manage.

    Please go see someone for advice.


  7. Terry are you Al’s legal guardian? How is it that you are responsible for this bill? What happens if it is not paid? My prayers are with you. Maybe you could get some of advice from some professional organization for free somewhere. Just thinking outside the box.


  8. Terry, I think this is another situation you need the ombudsman for. If you are not legally responsible for Al’s debts, what are they going to do if you don’t pay it? Threaten to put him in jail? That isn’t even an option, so try a pro bono lawyer and/or the ombudsman and see what your and Al’s legal rights are. I’m still praying for you both. Wish I could come and give you a big hug, but will ask the Lord to do it for me.


  9. Terry, money is some evil .. and especially the lack of them. I hope that things will work out for you – but collection agency not great to end up there, but I know that companies over here are willing to do some deal about debts when talking to them directly, but they seems to be hard to get to. Feel so for you and Al .. all caught up in this mess. I agree with Tilly … go and seek advice, because if you haven’t receive any bill and they haven’t been in contact with you about your debt, before they send it of to collection agency – they are in the wrong. You should had reminders on the bill too, before they passed it on for collection. So seek advice here too.


    • I wish that it was a dream that I was waking up from and it was only a nightmare. At the time that the bill was born, Al did have the money to pay, but now being on the government, he no longer has it


  10. Just a day to breathe and not feel the pressures would be the nicest gift someone could give…only if that could be…
    Life is quite cruel sometimes… but, I used to keep a saying on my desk at school…
    “When all seems to be at it’s worse… the tide will turn…”… I picture this in my head… Like a wave coming in and washing away all of the footprints in the sand …taking away all of my troubles…
    and it seems to give me relief…
    Best to you Terry… I do feel your pain and frustration!…mkg


    • that is a good way to look at life. I always use that saying when it rains it pours, and now I am waiting for the rainbow. I want it to come sooner than later………as always


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