Is There Someone I Can Call For You?

The firefighters raced in. Smoke engulfing anything that breathed. Looking around they saw no life. Checking the bathroom, they looked behind the worn shower curtain; nothing.

Climbing the stairs, stopping in mid-air, as they watched three stairs collapse in front of them, they took giant, baby steps, and landed on solid ground. Splitting in different directions, they sought each room.

There he was, the little boy, hiding under his bed. Flames dancing all around him as if inviting him to a special party, where he was to be the main event. The firefighter pushed fervently the bed, crashing it into the wall, causing the little one to cry.

He bent down quick and scooped the tot in both arms. Turning around he raced out of the door, yelling, ” I found him, I found him. All head outside now!” The piercing sounds of blazes licking at their heels, caused them to run faster. Hearing the splitting of wood from above, they raced through the front door.

Crowds screaming and clapping as the firefighter transferred the boy into the arms of the EMT’s. The mother and father came and were standing at the rear of the ambulance, throwing questions faster than playing darts.

“Is he okay? Is my baby alright? I should have insisted he bring his toys downstairs to play with. I gave in because I didn’t want to take apart his train track. I will never forgive myself for being so lazy.”

“It’s going to be alright. He seems to have suffered some smoke inhalation, but only minor burns. Don’t put yourself down mam. You were only doing what you thought was right.” The mother buried her head in her hands crying. All she could think of was what she had done wrong.

The EMS team worked on the tot, cleaning him up. Mom could hear one of them speaking over a speaker in his hand. “ETA, five minutes.” The police guided the parents to their patrol car and opening the back door, helped each of them in.

Silence guided them to the nearest hospital, Angel’s Mercy South Side. The EMS was ahead of them, but close enough the parents zoomed in on the flashing bubble, and they waited anxiously for the tot to be transferred inside the doors. The police pulled up next and not waiting for their doors to be opened, they raced inside the electronic, double doors.

They started running to catch up with their son, but the receptionist stopped them, stating they needed to fill out  paperwork and show their insurance forms. The mother turned to her and started laughing out loud. The husband tried to quiet her, but the wife refused.

“My child has been burnt. Do you think you could think of something besides money for a change? You’ll get your damn money, but my son comes first. Excuse us lady, we are going to see our son.”

The guards were motioned from behind the desk and pulling their pants up tighter and touching their side gun, they stiffly walked up to the parents. ” I can understand how you feel, but the staff is looking after the child at this moment. They will call you back as soon as  everything is under control. You must fill out the paper work as the receptionist has so kindly asked. We need this completed before we can proceed.”

He once again touched his gun and tipping his hat forward, he gestured the two to turn around and do as was requested. The mother was cussing under her breath. The father patting her shoulder, whispering, “It’s going to be alright. Let’s just do what they asked so we can go see Ryan.”

What seemed like hours, they tediously filled out each line and signed on the dated lines. Yes, they understood the HIPAA law. Yes, they had insurance and let the lady make copies of that and their driver’s licences. Yes, they had signed permission papers, giving the hospital rights to treat their son. They had placed their preferences of religion.

The receptionist, checking every detail, thanked them and told them to take a seat in the lobby and as soon as they were able to see their son, their names would be announced.”Why don’t you get a cup of coffee for the two of you,” she smiled saying. The husband  rocked his wife’s head on his shoulder and neither stood up.

It was an hour passing and a gentleman in a white coat, with a navy blue shirt and a bright red tie came out of the double doors. He walked to the receptionist and she pointed in their direction. The doctor neared them and asked them to verify their name.

“Please come with me.” He placed his arm around her shoulder guiding them through the double doors, into a green, cold hallway. He led them to the fourth door where he opened it for them to enter first. “Coffee?” Both shook their heads stating no.

The doctor sat behind his mahogany desk in his luxurious, leather chair. Clearing his throat and hesitating momentarily he began.” Do you have family near? Is their someone I can call to be here with you?”

“Why, why are you asking us these questions? Where is our son? What about  our son? Is he alright?” The doctor repeated himself with his prior questions. Both parents stood up. “What’s going on? We want answers now.”

“I am sorry I have to tell you this Mr. and Mrs. Miller. The staff did all they could. Their was just too much smoke for that little body. We couldn’t save him. Now is there someone I can call for you?”

“You bastard, you son-of-a bitch” You wouldn’t let us see our baby first. You demanded and the police almost held us captive wanting us to sign papers. We could have been holding our baby instead. He needed to know he wasn’t alone. I will sue this hospital, you hear me? I will sue you!”

The doctor stood up and walked around the desk. Placing his arm once again around her shoulder, he said in a softer voice.” I am sorry mam. I wish things could be different, but we have to follow the hospital’s regulations. We could be held liable if we didn’t. I understand how you feel. Now, is there someone I can call for you?”

(This story, I wrote, is fiction. Although I want it to give you something to think about. With all of the new laws and regulations, when does money  become more important than anything else?)






In a crowded place

I see my face

Reflecting off the sky

Hear me asking why

Alone and together

We storm through weather

Living the minutes of day

Making goals on our way

In my chair here at home

Where I have space to roam

I allow my thoughts to travel

Sometimes tripping on gravel

I know a new day is near

Can’t afford to house fear

Put on my armor of strength

Take a step, keep the length.

Written by,

Terry Shepherd



I Will Treasure Today, and Miss Yesterday

I saw a quote fly through my Facebook page yesterday. It hit me hard as I have lost a few good friends. One I had never met in person, but knew well from Facebook. The other I knew.

It tears at my heart when there is a loss in my life. A few years back, I lost my first good friend through Facebook. It made it a reality. instead of just a Facebook. I wept for some time over not being able to s speak to him anymore. He was an awesome guy, who lived in a wheelchair; but  his attitude about life, was better than most walking people’s were.

Then there was another time I had a male friend, Andre, from the Netherlands. He was awesome. His wife and him and I , had shared many phone conversations. Christmas and birthday gifts and cards were exchanged. It was one of the best relationships I thought I would ever experience; but I was wrong. There were more relationships to come. Andre passed away at the age of 86, and I still miss him today.

There is Viveka G. who is one of my dearest friends. A dream to meet her would be so awesome. Ute L. is another friend I have made who stuck by me through thick and thin throughout Al’s illness.  Marilyn G. and her husband came up to meet me and Al. It was the best visit. They are a wonderful, loving couple. These ladies are my blogger friends here at WordPress. Now these  ladies are alive and well, and they better stay that way, or else!! LOL

Another blogger friend I miss so bad is Sandra Callahan. Oh the times we spent talking and writing to each other. My heart still breaks. I lost her friendship last week. Yesterday, I lost another friend, whom I knew in person and here at Facebook. Ruth Bettinger Nichols. She passed away from cancer.

Who ever says you can’t make friends through the Facebook, have never truly been involved with this site. To, these friends, I will miss you. To those who I still chat with, I won’t let you go. I WILL TREASURE TODAY AND MISS YESTERDAY


I hope God enjoys your friendship as much as I did.




sandra callahan


facebook quote

Dentist and Prayers

I know the words, I know right from wrong; but yet I am afraid. I know it is petty; but to me it is petrifying. I know God answers prayers, especially in numbers. So please pray for me tomorrow morning as I get my upper teeth pulled. My request is for me to remain calm, my blood pressure not to soar, and of course for the dentist to do this procedure smoothly. The good thing out of this, is no more pain, nor pressure, and I will have no more crooked tooth up front. My new denture will be clean, white, and straight.

I have listened and watched to this video, assuring myself that I am in God’s hands tomorrow.

The Old House on the Gravel Road

scaryTwo friends, both 12 years old, hung around together constantly. These two boys were always getting called-out on being too mischievous. They didn’t really get into trouble with the law; but they were constantly testing the waters.

It was a dreary day. In fact, it was January 1, 2014. School was on break and these two, Ryan and Mark were bored. They decided to go out on an adventure. They didn’t know where they were headed. All they knew was that they had to be back by the time their parents got home from work.

They headed down the gravel road. They kicked rocks. They tried to see who could throw the stone the farthest. The boys raced to see who was the fastest. They laughed and didn’t really notice anything about their surroundings.

Ryan and Mark came upon the old house. It was worn down. The story was, an old man went nuts and killed his wife years ago. There hadn’t been anyone interested in the property so it became abandoned. The paint was gone. Windows were broken.

Their parents told them to never go too close, because they could get hurt. Today was different. Having nothing to do led them closer to the front door. They both became quiet as they listened for any unfamiliar noises to shout out at them.

Hearing nothing, Mark turned the door handle. It was broken and the door slowly, squeaked open. Mark and Ryan looked at each other. Both pairs of eyes looking at the others for answers to their question; should they go in.

Mark didn’t go in. He went to the side windows and tried to see the best he could while his eyes adjusted to the darkness. Coming back, and knowing they were safe, they ventured in the front door.

Spider webs greeted them. Dirty, white sheets covered the furniture. Spots of old blood still rested upon a couple of the sheets. Ryan shivered, a little from the unknown. Mark ventured to each piece of furniture, lifting the sheets, trying to imagine what was in the mind of the detectives who had once hung out here.

They then explored the kitchen and the bathroom. Seeing nothing exciting they decided to go up the stairs. The long set of stairs looked warped and uneven. Their first step set off a loud creak. Both boys stopped in their tracks as if waiting to see if maybe someone had heard them.

Seeing no one they continued to climb the squeaky stairs. One stair caved a little and Ryan jumped quick to the next stair afraid he was going to fall through. Once to the top they saw four closed doors.

Opening each one they saw a bed and two dressers. One had a big oval mirror on it and the words murderer were carved in the dust. They left that room and walked into each of the others. They all looked pretty much the same; except this room was bigger and it had a fireplace in it.

They took the dusty sheet off the bed and laid down on it. It was pretty soft which led them to both use the bed as a spring-board. Laughing and tumbling they spent several minutes on the bed.

When they tired of this they sat down and they each pulled out wrapped sandwiches they had made earlier. Ryan had a bottle of pop that the two shared.

Afterwards they both went back down the creepy stairs and they saw a door that was nailed shut going off from the kitchen. They had to investigate this. They worked and worked and finally broke the board.

There were no lights but they could see it led to a basement. The stairs here were cement and both boys headed down. More spider webs attacked them and they were busily wiping them out of their faces.

When they got to the bottom they saw old pieces of chairs and broken picture frames. They saw things crawling on the floor as if to escape being stepped on. There were three basement half-sized windows that provided a bit of light.

One looked like it had held an old coal furnace. There were several black pieces of rock still laying in a pile. The other two rooms looked like they were used for storage. There was one small door that led off of the coal room.

Ryan tried the door handle and it too, was broken but opened with ease. He walked inside but there was no window so he could see nothing. Mark waited on the outside for Ryan to say it was clear to enter.

After a few minutes ticked by and Ryan saying nothing, Mark called out to his friend. ” Hey, Ryan, you ok? What you see in there?” There was no response. ” Come on, quit trying to scare me. You know I don’t scare easy”, he said with just a tiny quiver in his voice.

Still no reply. Mark’s legs became cement. He knew something was wrong. He realized he should go in to check on his best friend; but his legs wouldn’t move. He began cursing himself. He called himself a chicken for standing there and he argued with himself about going further in.

He finally won, and his feet began to move. He walked in the dark room but didn’t see anything or Ryan. ” Come on Ryan, joke’s over. This isn’t funny anymore. I think it is getting time to go home, come on, let’s get out of here.”

Nothing, no sound, no stirring, no Ryan. The door slammed shut. Mark jumped and about peed his pants. Before his heart could quit racing a hand came over his mouth and he was drug into a secret door  he had not noticed.


Alright dear friends and followers of my blog; complete this story.

Mystery Box/ The Daily Post


Mystery Box

You wake up one morning to find a beautifully wrapped package next to your bed. Attached to it is a note: “Open me, if you dare.” What’s inside the mystery box? Do you open it?


Christmas is better than I thought it would be. I spent the evening and night with my daughter and her family. This helped me so much. Every year for years my family would spend Christmas with my parents at their home on Christmas Eve.

My parents have been gone for some time. Mom passed in October of 2000, and dad passed in December of 2007. After Al passed this year in March, the last thing I wanted to have happen was Christmas.

No one can fix this for me. Nothing can make 2014 not pass on, taking the words of Al passed away this year and turning it into Al passed away 1, 2, or more years ago. Thankfully my memory part of my brain still functions and I can remember my parents and Al very well.

So when this topic on Daily Post came up it gave me an opportunity to live out my secret wishes. So here is my story in my mind as it plays out.

Christmas was so lonely, but only on the inside of me. I had a wonderful time with my family, but I knew something or some people were missing from my celebration. I did my best. I smiled and carried on conversations. I played with the grandchildren. I ate a wonderful meal. We shared a wonderful time; but way back in my mind I couldn’t help but keep thinking of my parents and my brother,  Al.

The evening light turned to dusk. I lit the candles and listened to Christmas music on the television.After some time, I realized how tired I was so I blew out the flames and left the music playing. I brushed my teeth and got dressed into my pajamas.

I laid in my bed my mind turning over and over as if I could ever forget the memories of mom, dad and Al. An angel must have sprinkled some angel dust over my eye lids because the next thing I knew it was daylight.

I had nothing going on and didn’t really feel like starting a new day, but my brain was thinking hot coffee. I sat up on the edge of my bed and reached down to get my slippers when I saw a beautiful box wrapped in silver and draped in gold ribbons.

There was a gift tag on it. It wasn’t signed but it did say, open me if you dare. I picked it up and noticed how light it was for such a big box. I shook it and heard nothing rattle. I wondered how it got there, but decided to open it. My curiosity got the best of me.

I carefully took the ribbons off and tried to take the paper off gently so I could save the pretty color. Once the lid was off there were three pieces of paper inside. I took them out and placed the box off to the side on the bed.

Unfolding each piece one by one tears began to fall gently down my cheeks. Then they showered my face and a smile beamed like a ray of sunlight. This is what each piece of paper said.

Dear Terry,

I know when I left this earth,  you would be sad without me, but I knew you were strong and you would make it through. I have been watching over you and I am so proud of you. You have wonderful kids and grandchildren. You took excellent care of dad and Al. You published two books. Be happy Terry. Heaven is wonderful. Mom


Dear Terry,

You did such a good job taking care of me Terry. I know it was tough having to listen to words from others that hurt. I know you could have had more help caring for me, but you pulled it off. I wanted to tell you all those years I didn’t go to church or read my bible, well I am glad I changed my life because heaven and God are awesome. I love you Terry. See you when you get here. Dad


Dear Terry,

I know you have suffered so much sis since I left. I have seen you crying when you thought no one was looking. I know you understand that I had to go. God kept telling me he could heal me of MSA. I wanted to stay with you but I wanted to heal more. I am glad you moved out of the house. I know and understand why you did it. You have a wonderful Christmas. I am not there but I am with you in spirit. Feel that soft breeze going through your hair? It is me doing it. I love you sis, Al.

christmas shot 2

Writing is Healing

After I wrote my post last night about Erasing the Invisible I felt ashamed. Upset with myself for not being like others who are more tough-skinned than me. I didn’t sleep well at all. In fact I was awake and couldn’t fall back asleep at 4am, so I got up, grabbed a cup of coffee and jumped online.

I read with great intent the answers that I received in my comment section about my latest post. The answers were right there in front of me. I just couldn’t see them because I am the one in the middle surrounded by fog.

I am not saying that I am 100% healed, but I did see the fog lift. I understood my pain and the reason for it. All of us most likely go through doubting periods in our lives. It only becomes serious if we don’t work through it, understand it, and become glued in our spot.

Why didn’t I think of it myself? Who knows and what really matters is that I see the light now, thanks to my blogger friends. I feel like I had my very own private session with a therapist without having to sit face to face spilling my guts.

I guess I really never understood grief and how  it works. How can one word be so big in emotions. I decided to look up what grief really stands for and this is what I found.


Here is the grief model we call the 7 Stages of Grief:

    You will probably react to learning of the loss with numbed disbelief. You may deny the reality of the loss at some level, in order to avoid the pain. Shock provides emotional protection from being overwhelmed all at once. This may last for weeks.
  2. PAIN & GUILT-
    As the shock wears off, it is replaced with the suffering of unbelievable pain. Although excruciating and almost unbearable, it is important that you experience the pain fully, and not hide it, avoid it or escape from it with alcohol or drugs.

    You may have guilty feelings or remorse over things you did or didn’t do with your loved one. Life feels chaotic and scary during this phase.

    Frustration gives way to anger, and you may lash out and lay unwarranted blame for the death on someone else. Please try to control this, as permanent damage to your relationships may result. This is a time for the release of bottled up emotion.

    You may rail against fate, questioning “Why me?” You may also try to bargain in vain with the powers that be for a way out of your despair (“I will never drink again if you just bring him back”)

    Just when your friends may think you should be getting on with your life, a long period of sad reflection will likely overtake you. This is a normal stage of grief, so do not be “talked out of it” by well-meaning outsiders. Encouragement from others is not helpful to you during this stage of grieving.

    During this time, you finally realize the true magnitude of your loss, and it depresses you. You may isolate yourself on purpose, reflect on things you did with your lost one, and focus on memories of the past. You may sense feelings of emptiness or despair.

    More 7 stages of grief…

    As you start to adjust to life without your dear one, your life becomes a little calmer and more organized. Your physical symptoms lessen, and your “depression” begins to lift slightly.
    As you become more functional, your mind starts working again, and you will find yourself seeking realistic solutions to problems posed by life without your loved one. You will start to work on practical and financial problems and reconstructing yourself and your life without him or her.
    During this, the last of the seven stages in this grief model, you learn to accept and deal with the reality of your situation. Acceptance does not necessarily mean instant happiness. Given the pain and turmoil you have experienced, you can never return to the carefree, untroubled YOU that existed before this tragedy. But you will find a way forward.

    You will start to look forward and actually plan things for the future. Eventually, you will be able to think about your lost loved one without pain; sadness, yes, but the wrenching pain will be gone. You will once again anticipate some good times to come, and yes, even find joy again in the experience of living.

I recognized myself very clear in this list. I am at number 4. I can remember quite well going through number 1, 2 and 3. This seems to be the hardest part I am at right now. I now understand why I get panicky when I leave my house. I get it why I prefer to stay home.

I also know that this is not good for me and for this I am grateful that i still have my senses about me. I didn’t even see that the evil one from below is also having a hay-day with my feelings. He has been taking advantage of me while I have been down and out.

I used to tell myself that I knew my move was a good one because I had prayed and recognized the quick sale of my home and being able to find a new home had to be of God’s doing. Now I know for sure that God knows me so well.

I have to leave here. I do look in the past too much. I do worry about what my family thinks of me and I hate hurting anyone’s feelings, but God knows even more. He knew in order for me to pick myself up and move forward so that he could continue to use me for  his will, I needed to move not only away from this home, but also away from the death that lingers inside these walls.

By moving away from seeing Hospice here, the funeral home people coming to get Al, I will now be able to replace those terrible feelings with new visions, new memories and I will be stronger once again.

What this will do for me in the end is move me through the numbers 5, 6, and 7 gaining more strength and able to recognize how Satan works so easily throughout our bad times. I learned a lot through writing that post and for the friends who commented, I say thank-you. Please accept these beautiful flowers as my appreciation gift for what you have shown me.roses

Printing in 3-D for Body Parts

It always makes me feel a little strange when I read or hear about things that will most likely happen after I am deceased. I was reading this article in yesterday’s newspaper which talked about our future. I wanted to know what your thoughts on this topic were. Not that you will or not be living but the technology of it.

It is titled Printing the Future in 3-D

I have seen puzzles made in 3-D. I am sure if I think hard enough I have seen other things also. Now the scientists are figuring out how to use this knowledge and feed it into medicine. Where would we be without the brains in this world? Maybe not living in the cave days, but most likely not where we are today.

3-D printing is being tested in hundreds of ways the article states.They believe it can heal people. The process could duplicate copies of a damaged arm or leg. It could copy cancer tissues so doctors could figure out the best way to kill it.

Scientists are hoping to someday re-create who organs for people needing a new liver or heart. The 3-D process being used by a computer, receives its commands telling it where to place certain links. One by one, these ink drops create letters or pictures. The materials can be almost anything from plastic, to living cells and even metals. As each layer is built one at a time, the object is built.

Objects can be made in almost any shape. Because the layers are added one at a time this process is called additive manufacturing. With this new and fascinating process being made better and better, artificial body parts, known more as prosthetics is much cheaper.

Right now a prosthetic child’s hand may cost $25,000-$50,000 dollars, and of course as the child grows these parts would need to be replaced over and over. How many of us have these kind of dollars or that excellent of insurance?

With the 3-D process a prosthetic hand may only cost around $5.00. Wow, what a difference in price. Scientists hope to  have this easily available within 10 years. The printer will be able to make precise copies for each person. The body part will work better and last much longer. A part could be built in less than two days.

Already people are using 3-D printed hands, arms, hips, teeth, skulls, knees and ears. Printing live limbs is still many years away they state. The good news is that prosthetic 3-D body parts will move well and be available in a few years.

Isn’t it fantastic news for those who walk with difficulty or have one less arm than we do? Wouldn’t their lives change forever from this new strategy? So what do you think? Do you believe this can actually happen in time? I usually say that I am glad I am the age I am and will not have to see the gross things that will happen in our world; but this is one time I would love to be living and see the wide smiles on those that are made whole again or for the first time. The first photo below is;

The second photo is;

A 3D printer at the university has already built a prototype kidney.

These remarkable images show the groundbreaking advances scientists are making in the field of regenerative medicine, paving the way to print new body parts such as ears and noses.

Here is a video to explain more.

ear 2



I guess WordPress thinks I am a young chick. Lately they have done so much changing on everything that has to do with my writing. I can barely keep up anymore. For some time it seemed no one was visiting my blog, then suddenly it gained 100%.

Then they changed how to even get to my blog. I had problems getting a photo downloaded; it kept saying error. Now the new post icon is up in my right corner. What is going on WordPress? Give me a break. I am not a young chick, I am middle-aged and my brain just don’t work too fast lately.

Maybe it is me. I always believed when it ain’t broke, don’t be messing with it. I realize though that I need to keep up with the changes of this giant universe.

I do like WordPress. It is an amazing place to me. A great way to vent, heal, or write, or share music and photos. For me, it works.

Tonight I went to the Moose for a couple of hours. I had supper there and now my sugar is probably too high. They had spaghetti, salad, and garlic bread. I ate about half of my spaghetti, all of my salad, and didn’t touch the bread. Hopefully that starch and carb won’t get the best of me tonight.

Since I have been home I have been texting my one son. We text quite a bit. I love it. A son and his mom, still having so much chit-chat between us.

Today, I started packing some of my brother’s bedroom up. Definitely not an easy task. I guess that is why I wanted to do that room first. All of my brother’s clothes were staring at me. I have come to the place where I know I won’t wear them and there is probably someone out there who needs them.

Anyone on here live in KY? It really isn’t that far from me, but far enough I will notice a huge change in the winter time, and it is probably hotter there a little bit than here in the summers. The southern states are so beautiful with all the trees and rolling hills. I live in the flat land, the corn state, no hills here.

I heard one time that if you take our main highway, which is 30, and drive west it will take you all the way to California. I wonder if that’s really true.

Tomorrow I am picking up a friend and going to the Farmer’s Market for the first time. Hoping to pick up some cucumbers, tomatoes, onions and green beans. Oh fresh, that word sounds so nice on my lips. No canned, no frozen crap.

Well, it  is getting darker now earlier. A month ago at this time, which is 10pm, it was light. Before long it will be windy, snowy and icy here. Today I heard the first locus, and I have always known that from the first time you hear it, the weather and air will change in exactly six weeks; and it has been so as long as I can remember; so this makes it the end of August for us, and the heat shall begin to leave.

Have a great night and talk to you tomorrow.


Oh here is my latest photo of myself two days ago. No, not the locus, the other one. LOL