I have a pain in the pit of my gut and my heart is hanging around my ankles. I have to tell Al some disturbing news. On the flip side I am trying so hard to realize that I have heard all good news. I am doing everything right.
Everyone on the government level is looking out for Al’s best interest. So I am having mixed emotions at this very moment. I don’t want to sit down and cry because it will do nothing but give me one of those headaches that hang around my neck like a sore thumb until I sleep it off.
The meeting went fine. In fact I would say the representative and I hit it off fine and it was a piece of cake. I had all the documents he wanted here.
The bad news that I have to tell Al, is it is still going to be a month to a month and a half before the services take effect.
This rep has to enter all of the data given from the two meetings today. He stated he was swamped with work and it will take him some time. Then he has to send it in to the State and they have to check to make sure all is in order.
This small list of things to do can take so long. It is out of my hands now. I have done as required. All is finished. Everyone signing on the dotted line is now up to someone else to do in a timely manner.
I can deal with it. My heart will heal. Al could come home on June 1, but there would be no services for him. He wouldn’t get to go to the Day Program. I would not receive any help with his care here, he would just sit and stare at the TV, just him and I.
I see that for him, at least in the facility he can still socialize with other residents and staff. He can still go to the Day Program through the disability program. He can still go play Bingo.
I just dread the pitiful face I am going to see when I tell him not yet Bud. I do know that have learned from this tragic mistake of mine. Don’t take anyone’s word and set it in stone. If only I wouldn’t have told Al what others have told me. He wouldn’t have to go through this disappointment.
Can you love somebody too much? To the point that you can feel their pain and live through their emotions? I guess so, because I am right now.
http://www.youcaring.com/medical-fundraiser/too-much-pain-and-too-little-money/55964
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God bless you, my heart and thoughts are with you. May God be the sunrise on your dark times & may all the thoughts of positivity and love be the gentle breeze that carries you along. You create your own breeze with the love in you, that’s given it to all who read here…. be proud and know… that kinda love is felt by the one you give it to. 1Love!
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thank you so much Allegoric. You have touched my heart with your words
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We changed the world😇 thanks for the privilege of allowing me to care!
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I would like to nominate you for the Great Moment Award. I hope you will accept
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You made me smile…. as long as we can share it hass
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hugs
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Terry I think that you described IS love. I don’t think you can love to much or just a little It’s either love or it’s something else and you definitely love Al.
The other is like being “a little bit pregnant”. 🙂
I don’t know if I would tell Al anything more than “It’s being processed and the government is slow so we’re waiting on them”
It’s going to be alright though.
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You are right and I have learned a painful lesson. I can’t tell Al anything else with certainty. I just hate breaking his heart
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Hi my dear friend. I would like to nominate you for the Great Moment Award. I hope you will accept
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I think I will Terry. Thank you.
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wonderful!!!
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Sadly, what you are paying is the price for love. But in the end it is worth it when you are loved back. God bless you and your efforts to do the best for the brother you love. Hugs!
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thank you so much Billie. I will be so glad when the telling him part is over and he hopefully understands. hugs my friend
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He will and better yet he will be touched by how much you care. 🙂
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hugs
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What if you just don’t talk ‘date’ to him….after all when you are in a hospital or nursing home one day kind of runs into another….Maybe just say you had the meeting and it is being worked out and as soon as things are completed then he’ll be able to come home….Perhaps if you don’t display that you’re upset he won’t be either…just a thought…Diane
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I never show him when I am sad or upset or anything. i always go in with big smiles even if I am faking it. As I said in my post, I learned a hard lesson. No more telling him dates
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You are doing the right thing and love dictates your heart. Take one day at a time and enjoy your time together. Don’t look bleekly at the future, you wil make it an dhe will enjoy being with you! You have such a big heart! May God bless you richly!
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How did I get so lucky to have you in my life…………
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It is good to help each other and other heads think different, so it is good to get different views. I am happy if I can help in any way. Sending my love to you Terry! You are doing a tremendous job!
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big hugs sent to you through cyber space
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Hugs to you and Al
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thanks so much Elaine!
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Praying the Lord will give you wisdom as you talk to Al and comfort his heart as you tell him.
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he took it better than I thought
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This is good news. You are doing everything you can for him. He may not be able to understand that at the moment but once he is home with the proper round he clck love and support he needs he will quickly forget that he had to wait just that little bit longer to go home to be with you x
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I suppose you are right. He will forget immediately I think. Thanks for the encouragement
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What you are doing for your brother is incredible. The emotional physical mental strain this must have had on both of you for what seems to be your whole lives (reading the chapters about your brothers life) it will be an incredible feeling to just have him by your side safe where he needs to be. I pray that if my brother ever got into that situation that I would help him the way you are continuously helping your brother x
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It is a decision I have never thought twice about. He is my brother and I would lay down my life for him. I believe that you truly understand my pain, and small joys I find in Al and my life. Thank you for being a caring friend to us
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Hope Al can cope with his daily life
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I am praying he will not become more depressed
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Hope so
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How is his concept of time? If he struggles with it, it might be worth your while not saying anything at all.
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I would say for the most part his thinking is in tact as far as dates and times. I just hope he doesn’t get even more depressed
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Yes…I know that feeling of “Loving so much it hurts!”… my son… It makes my eyes wet…my stomach ache…and my heart want to burst…
But, it is all worth it!…God speed with the state paperwork now…
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I know what you mean Marilyn, it hurts but in a good way. I pray for a speedy paper work also. Thanks for being so supportive
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Terry, we are told to love as Jesus loves, and I think He hurts a great deal for us, and He certainly bore pain beyond anything we can imagine when He died for our sins. So no, I don’t think you love Al too much. You are simply feeling God’s heart for him as well as your own heart. Real love always makes us vulnerable, and being vulnerable often opens the door to deep hurt. But I think it is a hard lesson to learn to leave the burden of love at the foot of the cross. We want to carry it and it is difficult to just leave it for the Lord to carry for us.
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No, you can never love Al too much — you are a good sister, Terry.
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We will pray for a miracle.
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