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Over the weekend, we explored different ways to love. Today, tell us about the most unconventional love in your life.
Photographers, share a photo that says unconventional.
In my generation it was common to grow up and plan on getting married and having some kids. Moms worked some but for the most part they still worked more inside the home instead of outside for someone else.
The conventional love. The one everyone followed suit on. Even people who weren’t crazy about being married, got married because it was the right thing to do. Not uncommon in some countries but very unlikely here where I live was the arranged marriage.
You had your spouse chosen for you. A lot of figuring and planning went into those marriages. Many times they didn’t love each other, let alone know enough to be saying I do. Can you imagine what that was like letting someone bed you at night and you had no deep feelings for them. I can imagine that they grew to love each other, or they suffered their own hell.
Love and marriage has advanced so much today. People can love each other for a one night stand. Even say the words without feeling them for the passion of a fleeting moment. Some are infatuated with thinking the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. They will fantasize about another married person, thinking if I was only married to them.
Others waste so much of their life by living a dream, hoping that one day that person will be come available, only to end up an old spinster, all alone.
I did the common thing. I married fresh out of high school. It lasted for several years and a lot of the years were good. But we are thrown rocks and feelings change. We become more mature and our needs and desires change.
Sometimes this leads to divorce or cheating for some. Others suffer through the relationship for the sake of the children.
I ended up being divorced, and married a second time, which was even a bigger mistake on my part. Now I define love totally different from when I was in my twenties.
I have room for many types of love. I love my kids. I love watching the birds and feeding the squirrels. I love my brother. I love caring for others. I love knowing that I made someone’s day special.
I would love to see a man come driving through in his car and pick me up. I have given up on the knight and shining armor on a white horse. That is fairy tale to me now a days. Now I think I can love someone for who they are. What they bring to my life, how I add to theirs. Sharing some laughs and tears a good cooked meal or movie; is something I can love unconventionally.
I have learned I don’t have to follow that yellow brick road. I can be myself and learn to let my feelings lead me. Accepting ourselves for who we are is a major thing to do today. Not feeling like I have to be like everyone else is a big thing that took me years to learn.
Can I learn to love unconventionally? Yes, I think I can, and I have in many ways
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Terry, what a wonderful post … and honest – yes, you’re so right … we have space for so many different kinds of love, but it seems like most of us is hooked up … the love between man and woman. They did a survey in UK about single females – and 97% of the young women rate the love they have for their friends higher than love for a partner. Smart girls! I have always said that friends stay forever .. lovers comes and goes. Thanks for this openhearted post, Terry.
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I have to say that the love for my girlfriend I have known over 30 years is a more solid love than with any man I have ever loved. Love is not all it is cracked up to be. Plenty of pain involved and giving. Sometimes giving more than my fair share, not my game anymore in life
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Love your article. Thank you so much for sharing. It was straight from the heart. Thank you for the ping back also.
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You are so welcome Tammy. I feel like I know you so well by always referring back to your posts!!! LOL
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I feel the same after exploring your post and reporting on you lol
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hugs!
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Love this post, it’s so true. Thank you for this
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You are very welcome
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