Hospice – friend or foe?

I learned more about Hospice from Tersia

Vic's Final Journey

Hospice – friend or foe?

A blogger friend, Terry, is preparing for her beloved brother Al, to move home from an Assisted Living Facility. Al suffers from Parkinson’s disease and his general health condition is extremely precarious. Terry blogged: “I finally heard nothing from the phone. I had done everything I could find to do trying not to have to make the dreaded call to Hospice. I decided not to use the Hospice here in our county. I was very disappointed in them with the lack of care they gave to my father.” https://terry1954.wordpress.com/2013/06/17/al-and-hospice-meet/

Vic wrote this on her Face Book page on the 15th of May 2011… “Today Hospice came to access my Grandfather… They dripped him & made him comfortable. He has lost his swallowing reflex, sleeps most of the day, is completely bedridden & can barely talk… The suddenness of his deterioration is…

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My Visit With Hospice Tonight

English: Question marks with transparent backg...

I had a meeting tonight as I said earlier. She met Al but spent more time talking to me. We didn’t let on to Al that she was a Hospice person as he remembers Dad having them with him.

I always think I have things figured out, but am proven wrong time and time again. It is a touchy area we are in now. With Al coming home on a waiver, Hospice may not be able to come in between the waiver and Al.

If I allow Hospice in Al could lose his fifty hours. Instead of help coming each morning and helping him to get up, bathe and dress, Hospice would provide bathing twice a week and a nurse every few days.

There is much to check into for her. She first has to have the approval of the doctors she works for that Al would qualify, no matter how much our own doctor has written a prescription for it.

Al would not lose his day program, but which is more important? Him being bathed daily and helped with getting up and breakfast? Or, two baths a week and a guaranteed visit with a nurse?

She is supposed to let me know in a couple of days. I don’t know the answer. The lady said Al should be on palliative care which is agreed by all doctors. She also stated that taking Al to the ER for every internal fake  heart attack may be a waste of time. She agrees with our own doctors. But other than that, I don’t know which way to go if she comes back Wednesday and says he was approved.

She did mention that she could check and see if hours could be divided between hospice and Al’s own hours since he has so many. What are your thoughts on this?

Al and Hospice Meet

English: Hospice Journey's Logo

English: Hospice Journey’s Logo

I didn’t actually go to sleep that much earlier last night but I did wake up very early. Rhino, the cat was meowing at me and when I walked by him to use the bathroom he stuck out his paw as to tell me, get back in bed.

I did climb under the covers again but could not keep my peepers closed. In less than a half an hour, I got up. Rhino decided he had lost with me so he got up too. I made the coffee, brushed my teeth. Next I fed the cat and cleaned the kitty box.

I received a phone call earlier than I usually do. It was the facility letting me know that I was confused on the date Al was coming home. I had told them yesterday that he was coming home Thursday. Why, I don’t know. I explained that she was correct and I was wrong.

Then I received two wrong person calls. Then I got one more call from the lady who wanted me to be on the talk show. She told me it is going to be this coming Sunday for sure. I will try to get the web address if you would be interested in hearing me and the conversation.

I finally heard nothing from the phone. I had done everything I could find to do trying not to have to make the dreaded call to Hospice. I decided not to use the Hospice here in our county. I was very disappointed in them with the lack of care they gave to my father.

So I sat down and pushed the buttons and my stomach started to burn and crunch as I heard the other end of the voice say hello. It went too fast, this isn’t what I expected. In fact the whole process of everything in life is going to fast.

This company is on top of things and they are going to meet me tonight, yes tonight at 6pm with Al in his facility. This is leaving me no time to prepare emotionally. Part of me wants to cry at the first sad word heard, and the other part of me knows very well that for Al’s sake I will be there with a smile on my face and fake my way through this.

It is really happening, Al and Hospice are going to be formally introduced tonight. Maybe Hospice won’t think he needs their program……….But then I hear the doctor’s words from Friday, if they don’t accept him call me right a way, I will talk to them.

Well my gut is churning. I knew that it was time to eat lunch but I am not hungry. When I get upset I can go for ever without eating. I decided I would go in and eat supper with Al tonight. He will be happy about this and I will be there in case she is early.

I threw a salad together with some cut-up broccoli and pre-packaged salad, and tossed a sliced tomato and some shredded Colby cheese. Then I add Bacon Ranch dressing on top and forced myself to eat. I did eat half of it and I ate a kiwi too. This should tide me  over. I just hate eating when I am not hungry, but Diabetic pills don’t work if you don’t eat.

Wish me luck, say a prayer, give me a push, just let me do what is right and look at this is for Al so I need to quite being so selfish and wish things were different, because they are not.

Daily Prompt; Shape Up or Ship Out

http://dailypost.wordpress.com, DP, Daily Prompt

Write a letter to the personality trait you like least, convincing it to shape up or ship out. Be as threatening, theatrical, or thoroughly charming as is necessary to get the job done.

Photographers, artists, poets: show us UGLY.

Dear confidence,

You know that you are the one I curse the most. You have burrowed yourself within my soul; as a mole burrows under my yard.Moletunnelx315

I have spoken to you. I have even been more firm with you than anyone else I have ever spoken to, but you refuse to listen.

Don’t you know you are destroying me? Is that your purpose? Don’t you want to see me succeed? Because you realize that if I win, you win.

You have stood by in a dark corner,  hiding in the shadows, sneering at me when you realize you have had your way with me.shadow

You have watched me at night as I lay in my bed and cry my eyes out because once again I have lost my belief in myself.

What can I do to get rid of you? Many friends have told me repeatedly that you don’t exist.

They have said you are a figment of my imagination. To know that I have built a life on your weakness and jeers makes me sick to my stomach.

If I got a paintball and stood you in front of the mirror. If I aimed at you dead on, could I dismiss you from my life?paintball

Or would you splatter all over my mirror, and within seconds become whole again; standing in your corner laughing at me?

I have to train my mind that you are not real. I have to stand in front of a mirror every morning when I wake up. As I brush my teeth, I must repeat for five minutes, I am worthy, I am likeable, I was made in God‘s perfect image.woman-standing-in-front-of-mirror

If I repeat this message, it is possible that I can block you out of my life.

It is a behavior, this is all it is. Someone has made a comment to me that hurt me deeper than I thought. Or maybe something happened that I never truly got over.

This has to be when you came into my life and made yourself at home.

It is time to stop though. I can not be a part of your games any longer. I am tired of weeping. Sick of feeling low about myself. I want to live my life to the fullest. I want to step out in faith and try new things. Put my ideas on the table and give them a chance. So what if I fail with a thought I had, at least I gave it a shot.

It is time for you to leave. I am putting my shield of self-worth on and I am booting you out. I will kick you to the curb and watch closely as the weekly garbage truck pulls up and tosses you into the big mouth. I will watch the life be squeezed out of you as the jaws bite down pushing all the trash and unwanted things deep within its belly. shark

So I have stood strong, and I have told you how it is going to be starting right this very moment.

Get your bags packed bully boy, and get the he double hockey sticks out of here and don’t you ever come back.