Daily Archives: February 10, 2013

Hot Mama

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Water tap

Getting up in the morning is a pain in the butt. Reach over and nearly  tip forward tripping over myself to pick up the darn old house robe that fell off the bed through the night. Standing up trying to put house robe on but have an itch I have to scratch first. Why is it the first thing in the morning a body has to  pass gas and scratch?

Looking at myself in the full length mirror is enough to make me want to lean over the ship as I fill light-headed from seeing the uneven wrinkles. As quickly as I can I put my covering on and leaning one hand on the bed and the other on the dresser I do the circus balancing act getting those darn old stretched out slippers on.

I waddle into the bathroom and my eyes bug out of my head as I flip the light on and see how my eye lids have drooped half way over the color of my eyes. I raise my house coat and sit down. I have to make sure I do this each and every morning as I learned the hard lesson once before.

I had gotten up from the pot and thought someone had pasted ice-cubes to my naked butt. I jumped without my feet leaving the ground and reached my arm behind me to see what in the world had a hold of me. You would not believe it! It was the end of my house coat. It had taken a dip in the water as I was doing my thing. I sharpened up real quick after this.

I got one of my better wash rags that only had three holes in it and I wet it with the coldest water I could. After my fingers turned bright red I knew the temperature was ready. I slapped it onto my face where it freeze-dried all my wrinkles and made my eye lids fly up like an old-fashioned window blind.

I left it there while I counted to sixty. One, two, five, ten, fifteen, 60. I toss it in the stool water by accident. I seriously meant to hit the target of the tub, but dang it, I missed. I reached down in there and pulled it out by my two fingers and whooshed it like a basket ball shot straight in the trash can. There wasn’t any way I was ever gonna use that rag on my face. Never going to wash my face with pee water.

I wet my tooth-brush and then dipped it in some alcohol. You know it’s the quickest way to get the body moving in the mornings. I tried pushing that darn blue stuff out of the tube, but I guess I haven’t got my groove on yet. I had to set it down on the bathroom sink and use my fingers on one hand while  holding the brush with my other. Oops, I think I surprised myself at the strength I still have at my age. Toothpaste came squirting out and went all over the mirror.

If you ask me I think I could sell this for quite a few dollars as it would be known as modern art. I took my finger and wiped some off the mirror and then rubbed it on to the bristles. Now down to business. Brush brush brush. Up and down in and out. Wow, I better be careful with what I am saying. Sounds kind of perverted to me.

Done with the brush I rinse it off and stick it back in the tiny hole it goes in and fill my glass half way with water. Rinse gargle, oh yuck, I just swallowed a bunch of water and I wasn’t ready. Gag, choke, eyes watering. Beating myself on the chest I get my choking under control.

I pull out my hair brush. Now you have to be real careful how you use this special brush. It belonged to my grandma and it is missing a few bristles. One time I was brushing my hair and sort of wiggling back and forth to the radio and didn’t realize that I was forming Edward Scissorhand marks on my forehead. Don’t ever say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. I am here to tell you that you can. Don’t push too hard, and don’t get too close to the hair-line.

Now I am all done in the bathroom. I tie my belt around my house coat a little tighter. You have to do this because there are a bunch of perverts creeping around our neighborhood all the time. They are just dying to get a chance to take a quick peek at us cougar women.

The sun is shining, and I can see the  boy mowing the neighbor’s yard. Everyone uses this kid for mowing. We  pay him a couple of bucks and he grins as he leaves with his money. I swear one time I saw him flip me off when he turned around to leave. Do you think I should maybe up his pay to three dollars?

I flip the television on and turn the sound up to the number eight out of ten. I turn it on to the local news so I can get a good look at that sexy weather man. I make my way out to the kitchen and start my percolator..

A few scratches to the head and a few more to the other spots and then I look out my window and sigh. I have made it another morning. I tinkled and wiped. I brushed my hair and my teeth. The coffee is perking. Now on to the breakfast meal.

 

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Picture it & Write

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http://ermiliablog.wordpress.comwine glass

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Two glasses touch

As the two gaze

Into each others eyes

Showing their love

Leg of lamb

Roasted potatoes

Fresh green beans

Topped off with

Strawberries n cream

9p.m the kids fast asleep

The house is so quiet

Only their breathing can be heard

Eyes locked with each other

Fingers touch

Toes against toes

Happy Valentine’s Day

To my beautiful husband.

Terry Shepherd

02/10/2013

 

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Daily Prompt; Teachable Moment/ The Daily Post

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Boston - Boston Common: Parkman Plaza - Learning

http://dailypost.wordpress.com

You have to learn a new skill. Do you prefer to read about it, watch someone else do it, hear someone describe it, or try it yourself?

This one is an easy answer for me. I have to try it while listening to someone describe it. I went to college. I tried following a long in the books but it didn’t work. I took notes and then went home and read the chapters alone in a quiet atmosphere. I made more notations and then saved them.

I can’t read and learn at the same time. I always thought I may have some disability with comprehension. I have to read something, highlighting what I think is  was important. Then I would go back and dissect it to learn.

I would take my notes back to class and pick-up more key notes but even then, I would wait until the  night before a test and pull out all of my notes and study. This is how I learn anything.

If I have bought something that needs put together I will toss the directions to the side. I will try to put it together from my eye’s view first. Only if I don’t succeed within a reasonable amount of time will I glance over the photograph descriptions, never reading the words.

I know it sounds strange but this is how I learn. I don’t like reading that well unless it has grabbed my attention in the first couple of pages. Research is another thing that gets me excited. I love to research. Since I love antiques, I will spend many hours looking at every thing I can find. This is a major thrill to me.

Everything I have learned about antiques through the years has been done by research and hands on training. I don’t know if I do have a weird way of learning but at my age, who cares. They say you learn the most in your first five years of life. Now I look at anything new I learn is definitely a bonus.

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Stolen Moments

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Lips

The moon shines bright

Casting shadows on

The two who meet

Under the stars.

Secrets being whispered

Of desires from deep within

Passion coming to surface

As the two touch.

Feeling like it is the first time

Hands roam freely

Lips touch with fire

Eyes have locked.

He cups her face

She leans into him

He raises her soul

The two become one.

Back in their bed

They smile at each other

As they celebrated once more

Another Valentine’s night.

Terry Shepherd

02/10/2013

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