What Did I Do?


I am not sure what I am searching for by this little post. I have many friends and have added new friends also. But I have noticed the past several days that less stop by, fewer click on the rate button underneath the title. Even my likes are less.

Is my sadness showing through? Are my posts making you want to sleep? Should I take a break from writing for a while?

Help me to understand so that I can fix it. I love writing and I love sharing. Tell me what subject matter you would enjoy reading and maybe I can write about it. Have I offended some and I don’t know it?

Just asking so I can understand …………..maxine1.jpeg

I Can Feel


Waves rush over  me

As my toes sink in the sand

Reliving moments from before

Washing ore me new life

Looking out ore the horizon

Trying to see my future

English: Turtle Bay Beach at Caneel Bay.

Hazy skies cloud my mind

Nothing is crystal clear

An empty shell comes in my view

I kneel down and pick it up

Peering inside I speak softly

Are you in here or have you also moved on

Reaching for higher grounds

Where prey can never find you

I turn my ear and listen

To the echoes of once lived life

I place it in my pocket and

Carry this close to my heart

Where I can connect with

What this poor creature has endured

Already in its short life

Looking down and forward

Rubble laying in my path

Who has walked my footprints

What thoughts crossed their mind

As they looked out over the horizon

Trying to figure out their next plan

I have reached the end of the path

My walk is now complete

Make my way back to my beginning

Answers still remain questions

I see a masterpiece as a

Turtle is giving everything she has

To bury her eggs deep within the

Grains of sand, protecting it

Until it is time to be born

Life continues no matter

What is on our mind

No matter where we are

Life moves forward with

Or without us

I look ahead and see the steps

Taking me back to my own thoughts.

Terry Shepherd

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Daily Prompt/ Happily Ever After/ The Daily Post


http://dailypost.wordpress.com

“And they lived happily ever after.” Think about this line for a few minutes. Are you living happily ever after? If not, what will it take for you to get there?

This is so opposite of my feelings today, I don’t know whether to laugh or cry. I have been in hay stacks. Every once in a while if you look close you can see my head pop up for fresh air.

This prompt today is not going to bring anything but the plain ugly truth about life. I gave up fairy tales and princess and princes years ago as I walked a way from my divorce. Now I choose to cling to God and friendships like there is no tomorrow.

I don’t carry much faith in the human race on the surface. I do trust my friends let me affirm this.

I am not living happily ever after because I don’t think it is a reality part of life. To live this way would entail all humans to think of others before themselves first most. It would require God to be in every heart. We would see the good and understand the bad in each other.

The judging of character would vanish into thin air. Our nation would be considered as one, united together to bring peace among those who walk this earth.

I don’t know what actually goes on inside your home. I only know what I read on here. If I am extremely bored, I will flip on the television and watch the wildly entertaining news. Anchormen who are geared to show us the worst of the world.

On the news channel I watch there is a tiny segment that is saved for one, just one good thing that happened some where in the world. It is so sad that what sells is tragedy, gossip, money, sex, and vulgar language.

In my own home I work very hard with the help of God and all of you to remain as up-beat as possible about life. It doesn’t take much to burst those balloons flying over my head  by callous remarks.

I won’t take you through the back door and let you see the ugly things I am dealing with at this time. But, I can give you one example. Let me reach my hands into the hay stack and pull out the first thing my fingers touch.

Ah yes, here is a good one. Maybe just a perfect way of letting you understand the greed in the world today. You may know immediately how you would react to next paragraphs. Or, you may need to ponder on it for a few minutes. Here is one of my issues.

A couple of years back I wanted to be as prepared for anything that I could as far as my brother is concerned. You know the saying, get er done. I contacted a funeral home and discussed funeral arrangements for Al. Together the owner and I set up a prepaid expense funeral. I knew the dollar amount per month and all of the fine details.

She in turn took the information and sent it to an insurance company and in a couple of weeks I received the policy in the mail. What do you do with these? The same thing I did. File it in the safe, hopefully to not have to look at it for years to come.

Without realizing it at the time it would come up in conversation later on, but not because Al passed away, but because it is technically considered a life insurance policy now. Al is on Medicaid and things have now changed and not for the good.

The policy is as far as I know not going to be considered an allowable expense, since the title says Life Insurance Policy. I won’t go into the details but I know  in my heart that this is for a prepaid funeral.

The kicker of this whole thing is I was told from Al’s facility that I should just sneak into his room and sell his coke items if I wanted his funeral paid, because they were taking even more money now from him since the payments are going to be considered null and void.

How would you react if they were talking about your brother, or mother or father? My heart has been broken so badly I don’t even know if super glue could hold it together. I am on the ruby-throated-hummingbird-m450.jpgphone and in meetings opening every door possible for Al.

I need to do what others are not. I am looking at Al as my brother, a human life, God’s child. He deserves dignity and respect no matter what illness or disability he has. What I am working on now is hopefully the best shot Al will ever have on this earth, but it takes time, as all government issues do.

I am not depressed but I am very sad. I am a fighter and I will give it all I have to give Al the very best of happily ever after there is. I know that we are down to very little choices, but as each door is forced opened, I gain more hope.

This is just a bit of what is going on in my part of the world. I carry faith and hope but I refuse to have my balloon stuck with one more needle. Landing on the cold ground does not feel good. I will continue to live in the reality and dream about the happily ever after.