My Heart Is Bursting

I have just received the news that I was awarded two more awards from The Prodigal Daughter

The two awards are The Beautiful Blogger Awardbeautiful-blogger-award2 and the Very Inspiring Blogger Award.very-inspiring-blogger-award




Here is a slice of who the Prodigal Daughter is

We all are lost and wastefully extravagant. We demand of our Father the nicest of all things to be given us…getting ahead of the One who knows best.

In our stupor we stumble and go hungry but just when we thought we lost everything, our Heavenly Father remains faithful…and waiting.

How many times have we failed? How many times have we sinned? How many times have we returned back home to a delightful Father waiting with open arms? God isn’t counting. He delights to see us . All it takes is a sincere repentance and we’re accepted in His family once again.

Our Father celebrates our return over and over and over again. We are redeemed and prodigal no more.

Luke 15:11-32


Here are the rules of the award:

1 . Display the award logo on your blog.
2. Thanks and link back to the person who nominated you.
3. State 7 things about yourself.
4. Nominate 7-15 bloggers for this award.
5. Notify those bloggers of the nomination by linking to one of their specific posts so that they get notified by ping back.

Thank-you so much my dear friend for these awards

Seven things about myself

1. I do one load of laundry per week

2. I love to sit in my swing in the early evenings of the year

3. I have a dishwasher but barely use it

4. I love the reruns; Mash and I Love Lucy and Golden Girls

4. I am an American Idol fan but not as strong this year with new judges

5. I love to watch 20/20 and Dateline

6. My favorite television stations are Nick-at-Nite and Hallmark

7. A couple of my favorite actresses are Betty White, and Julia Roberts

Nominations are



lenwilliamscarver x






Beyond Back Creek



My Release

Except for one day last week when I made a quick run to the gas station for bread and eggs today I got out. Yeah! Fresh air. I breathed in deeply letting the crisp air come into me. There was plenty of sun and it was a high of 32.

It felt like the best medicine I have had in two weeks. The first thing I saw when I went outside of my house was a black squirrel looking for food. I went back in and grabbed a hand of peanuts and tossed them at him. He didn’t run away. I think he is getting used to my hand throws.

The next thing I observed was a bird. Yes it sure was. I stopped dead in my tracks and listened. It was a Spring bird. Yes Spring keep on coming!

Oh how I love the smell of Spring

When all becomes so new

A bird does sing the sun does shine

And takes away the winter blues.

Terry Shepherd

I had made some pumpkin bars and a chocolate cake. Why? I don’t know, something to do. Something to take to Al today. I cheated and had a nibble here and there through-out the evening.

Today I grabbed my plate with the goodies and headed straight for the nursing home. I didn’t let Al know I was coming ahead of time, in case my planned visit backfired with my health.

When I walked in it was lunch time and I spotted him immediately in the hall. It brought back memories of his Parkinson’s Disease as I watched him trying to stand. He had gotten his walker out into the hall and then his knees buckled and he was frozen in his motion.

It was a long hall so I was able to observe the whole movie clip. A nurse aid was holding the walker so he could sit down but his legs would not bend. They worked together and finally he was seated. I arrived just as the nurse was giving him one of his pain pills.

Finally his legs kicked in and bent over he walked down to the dining room with me by his side. We sat at his table and he ordered his food. He chose a chicken sandwich, mashed potatoes and peppermint ice-cream. Drinks were ice water, juice and hot chocolate.

It took him a half an hour to eat his lunch. He said it still feels like something is stuck in his throat but that the mechanical soft diet was helping. I did see him struggle quite a bit trying to get the two-handled cups to his lips. I don’t know how to help with this so if anyone has any ideas, let me know. He can pick up the cups with both hands but lifting them to his lips seems to be very difficult to him. Then tipping the cup up enough to get the liquid in his mouth was worse. Straws have already been taken a way from him as he can’t release the straw from his lips, so this idea is out.

I saw that at least for today his tremors were in full swing. Several times he would be trying to take a bite of his sandwich and the tremors would shake the bun so badly, that it crumbled down his lap and onto the floor. He at least got the protein though, but I felt so bad for him but said nothing.

We talked about everything I could think of. I noticed that he barely blinks. Everything he said to me was in a complete stare. I tried when I got home to sit still without staring and I could not do nearly as long as he could.

He was in a pretty good mood which I was thankful for. There were no tears. He was going to be going out with the providers that help him to get out of the facility for a while two times a week and I am sure that helped his mood. He was going to the one store that he loves that sells coke vintage items. Then they were going to the Dairy Queen where I had given him a bogo coupon for blizzards.

I talked to him as long as I could and then helped him to get his coat on so he could take off. I waved good-bye and swallowed the lump in my throat as I watched my baby brother leaving.

I stopped at the grocery store for some groceries. I didn’t want to stay long because I was beginning to feel worn out. I had been in there about five minutes when all of a sudden I felt like I was going to pass out. Then I got sweaty and shaky. Oh no, not now. I knew then it was my sugar levels. They had become too low. I frantically looked through my purse and found a bite size Hershey bar so I popped that into my mouth and then just prayed that I could get through the store and home. God answered. I walked faster and did make it home and immediately ate.

All in all it was a good day. A sure sign of Spring through the birds. Sunshine and seeing Al. Replenishing my cupboards. It all made my day.alvin at facilityal at facility

Photo of Western Blue Bird by CALIBAS, LIVERMO...

Blogging Awards

Jen over at

has nominated me for the Very Inspiring Bloggers Award. Thank-you so much Jen!

Here is a peek at what Jen represents.

Daily Prompt; All About Me/The Daily Post


Explain why you chose your blog’s title and what it means to you.

My blog title. Hmm interesting. When I started this blog it was the first time I ever had written for a blog of any kind. I wrote and scribbled through my years. I never let anyone see it. I didn’t think it was good enough to show others. I didn’t want to be laughed at for being such an emotional clutz.

I have always been a shy person when I first meet a new person. I have always been the wallflower when in big gatherings. It takes me awhile to warm up but then watch out. I can be full of laughter with plenty of jokes.

Well that is the way I used to be anyways. Al being sick and the caregiver in me being tested daily has saddened me around the edges. I was thinking last night as I was picking out the clothes I would wear today to go see Al how quiet it has been here the past two weeks.

You all know I have suffered from bronchitis. I had two phone calls in two weeks from friends. Other phone calls were telemarketing or Al’s facility. There was a period of time that I was afraid. Afraid because I was not getting better. Afraid I would die here at home and wondering how many days it would take someone to find me.

I guess I am still a little bit of a wallflower. I am not aggressive when I go out into public. I smile a lot. It is a nice cover-up for feeling awkward in starting a conversation. I worry too much about my looks. I don’t have the Barbie doll figure, but I never did. I think too often that men want those skinnie Minnie girls so I shy away.

Through a program of Medicare called Ticket to Work, I may be able to go back to work part-time. I have started the process and am waiting for more information. This would be good for me. The  problem is that the place I may be able to work for will place me right back into care giver, and right up there on top with the mentally challenged and disabled.

Can I do it? Yes, but emotionally, I wonder. I have been through so much with Al I just am not sure if I can continue on with other cases, plus stay in close connection with Al at his facility. Keep up with his needs and care plan meetings and visits.

Sometimes I just want a fun job. One where people are laughing and talking and the work is on the light side instead of the emotional roller coaster ride. Wow, I have side-tracked here. So sorry about that.

Returning back to the prompt, I named my main WP site Terry1954. I wanted people to know that I had a name. I was real. Many times people do not know whether I am male or female because of the spelling of my name, but I guarantee I am female. I added the year of my birth, so you all had an idea of what age group my thoughts were coming from.