Pain rips through my heart. Sharper than any sword. A hole, larger than earth. Sometimes, I hurt even more than I could imagine, when I see you walking by, holding her hand. Her laughter in your ears, her fingers running through your hair. The closeness you share in the shadows of the night. Getting out my photo albums, thumbing through our pictures, my fingers caress your lips, remembering the words whispered softly to me, sending shivers down my spine. Somewhere you are out there with her, a place you used to take me. Touching on a picture of the two of us lying on the beach under the moonlight. Breezes blowing over our bodies, hands touching hands, words promising we will be together for ever. Carefully removing the picture from the album, I study faces, fingers forming around them. Suddenly, I remember, those terrible words spoken to me. I don’t love you anymore. I have tried, but I love another. He took a knife and slashed my heart in half. Tears streaming of blood as my heart is being pumped of life. I fell to the floor, holding the picture to my heart. A part of me refusing to acknowledge what had happened. My body shivered. Sobs could be clearly heard. Why……..why did this have to happen…….I love him……..The sobbing got louder, tears falling, until there were no tears to fall. I fell asleep, right there on the floor, holding the picture close to my heart. When I awoke, my eyes were red and swollen. My heart was bruised, and I felt weak all over. I stood up, and walked over to the photo album, and lifting the sealed pictures out of the album, took each one, and laid them in a pile beside me. I closed the album and put it back on the bookshelf. I went to the kitchen, and opening the lid on the trash can, I briefly glanced at each picture one more time, then tearing them in pieces, I watched them fall, scattering in all directions. I turned and walked away, never looking back again.
He hid behind the tree. Every once in awhile I could see a speck of grey or a little black spot. He watched me. Everywhere I went, his eyes followed. I had to run an errand, and he watched me leave. My heart got a ping in it, as I realized he was waiting for me. He didn’t want me to leave. I told him I would be back real soon. He just stared in my direction. When I returned, I saw no one. None of his friends were there. It was dead silence. I went into the house, and got what I was looking for and took it outside with me. I went over to his favorite spot and stood there for a moment listening for some sound that would let me know he was near by. If you listened very close and almost quit breathing, you could hear very soft whispers, like leaves blowing in the winds. I finished what I was doing, and told him that is was ok to come out now from hiding. He didn’t have to be afraid. I was his friend. I walked back in the house, and put my things back in the cupboard, and walked over to the kitchen window to see if I could see him. Nothing. I went about doing what I was doing and soon heard a rather loud commotion. It was nothing like I had ever heard before. I called my brother to come here! Come here and look at what is happening! My brother came out and just looked at me, like I was nuts. He had looked around and didn’t see any visitors, so what was I talking about. I called him over to the window, and as he came, I whispered, don’t talk, walk softly. Look out the window with me. It gave me the biggest smile I had had on my face all day as I looked at his face and saw a sparkle in his eyes, and that grin was from cheek to cheek. As we both looked out the window, we were both in awe, as we watched the three baby squirrels chasing each other around the tree. Each one wanting the peanuts all for themselves. One would get up in the box, and stuff his cheeks and look down at the others. You could tell by his face, he was laughing at his siblings, going ha ha, this is mine. I had thrown peanuts and corn on the ground, and the other squirrels were busy hopping from seed to seed. The yard was soon filled with big fat blue jays. It was a moment I will never forget. A memory I will instill in my box of memories I keep in the back of my mind. My brother and I were standing side by side, gazing out the windows, watching the animals, our friends, feasting, and both of us looked at each other, without saying a word, and we each smiled.